


as for now

by MaximillianDelirium



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Holidays, Irresponsible Drinking, M/M, awkward bachelorette party, completely ignoring HoO, made up university, unapologetic schmaltz, wintery things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:55:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 56,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9060907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximillianDelirium/pseuds/MaximillianDelirium
Summary: Connor Stoll needs a date for his brother's wedding. His only option is Nico di Angelo, the moody guy who lives down the hall from him and maybe robs graves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i know this isn't part three of my usual connico fic trilogy but i've been working on this one for a while and i wanted to post it now, because it's kinda holiday themed. if you thought my previous fics were cheesy... well... i have to write all the fics for this pairing, so i've got a lot of work to do haha.

               “I’ve made a huge mistake,” Connor Stoll muttered to himself. He was staring at a fancy cream-colored invitation. _Travis and Katie_ was written in swirly script on the front. It had arrived in his mailbox about a month ago like a bad omen. Connor had gotten by with shoving it in a drawer and pretending it didn’t exist. He regretted doing that now.  

                He thought he’d had time. But no! A week. He had a week before his brother married his long-term girlfriend. A week and no date. That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem if he hadn’t promised to bring someone. Connor knew Travis already suspected him of lying. Connor had been too vague about his new “significant other” for them to be anything but fictional. And if there was one thing Connor hated the most, it was getting caught lying to his own brother.

                _Okay, crunch time. Who can I ask?_ Connor knew a few girls, but none of them would ever agree to be his girlfriend in a million years. Not even if he paid them their weight in gold. Annabeth was one of his best friends and would’ve been ideal if she A) hadn’t known both Stolls since they were kids and B) wasn’t already in a committed relationship. Clarisse would kill him before he even got the words out. Silena was devoted to her boyfriend.

                Connor ran his fingers through his hair and debated banging his head against the edge of his desk until his skull cracked. Why did he even make that stupid promise in the first place? He remembered being really desperate. Travis had had him backed into a corner.

                “I want to believe you,” he’d said, “but I don’t think you’re over it.”

                “I am! Seriously. If I wasn’t over her, would I be dating someone else?”

                Everything had snowballed from there. Connor wished he could go back in time to stop himself from ever saying that. He sighed. At about the same moment, his phone buzzed. He panicked for a second, thinking it was Travis. Then he realized it was just an automated reminder to take his laundry out of the washing machine.

                Sighing again, Connor headed to the basement. This was his punishment. Connor and Travis had sworn never to lie to each other when they were kids. Everyone else deserved to hear something other than the truth every now and again, but they were different. Playing pranks on each other and cheating at video games were one thing. Lying to each other’s faces was another.

                The basement hummed with the rumbling of washers and driers. Connor went to transfer his wet clothes to the dryer. He didn’t notice that there was another person there until he heard him cough. He jumped and spun around.

                Nico di Angelo, holding a plastic laundry basket, was standing right behind him. He looked exhausted, as usual. Most college students looked exhausted, but Nico perfected it. His skin was so pale you could probably go blind if the sun hit it. It brought out the dark circles under his eyes. He wore black jeans that had seen better days, a black hoodie, and a grey t-shirt with a toothpaste stain on the collar. His hair was in perpetual bed-head state. (And there was a lot of it).

                “Could you hurry up?” Nico asked. “I want to use that machine.”

                “Okay, okay. Hold your horses.”

                Nico put his overflowing laundry basket on the ground. He didn’t move. It looked like he was going to hover until Connor finished.

                Irritated, Connor pulled the wad of wet clothes out as fast as he could and chucked them into the dryer. “It’s all yours, champ,” he said as he went to the control panel. As he edged past Nico, he got a strong whiff of coffee. Nico probably snorted it to stay awake.

                Connor remembered when Nico hadn’t been like this. He’d always been a little bit of an outcast, preferring to play card games instead of talking to people. However, he’d been just another bright and eager freshman once. Now that he was a junior, it was like his soul got sucked out of him.

                Percy said it was because of family issues. He wouldn’t be specific. Connor had tried his best to reach out. (He’d been Nico’s orientation leader). But Nico didn’t want anyone to get close to him. He had a single room down the hall from Connor’s and, as far as Connor could tell, no one entered or left but Nico. The guy had no friends except for Percy and Annabeth and even then he didn’t spend that much time with them.

                Connor watched Nico out of the corner of his eye while he loaded the machine. The holes in his jeans were out of control. They were going to fall apart sooner or later. Connor noticed that most of Nico’s clothes were black or grey. He had a theory that Nico was a goth, though probably a lazy one.

                Nico suddenly lifted his head. “Quit staring at me.”

                “I’m not staring at you.”

                Nico snorted and slammed the door of the washing machine shut. “Are you going to pay for your laundry or do I have to wait another ten years?”

                Connor realized he’d gotten distracted enough not to swipe his card. He went through the transaction. He was tempted to do it as slowly as possible, but Nico’s expression was murderous.

                “What’s the rush?”

                “None of your business.”

                _Jeez, forget I asked._ Connor stepped aside so Nico could use the console. He punched the correct buttons on the dryer. “Maybe you should cut down on the caffeine. I bet everything seems slow when your brain is going a hundred miles per hour.”

                “I thought I told you to mind your damn business.”

                There was no winning with Nico. Too bad Connor was a glutton for punishment. “You’d sleep better, too. You look like a stiff. No offense.”

                Nico crossed the room in two strides. Connor found himself pressed against the washer and dryer. The scent of coffee was even stronger than before. It was also pretty clear that Nico hadn’t showered in a while. Connor, being used to it, didn’t let his nose wrinkle.

                “If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll show what a real stiff looks like. I’ll bring you back a souvenir from my cadaver lab.”

                Connor swallowed. He didn’t want to challenge Nico on that. The guy was probably crazy enough to go through with it.

                Nico reached around Connor, hit the buttons on the washer, then backed off and grabbed his basket. Connor waited until he’d vanished upstairs before stepping away from the machines. He held in a shudder.

                “Creepy,” he said out loud. Suddenly, he didn’t feel comfortable in the basement anymore. Connor hurried upstairs.

 

                The next morning, Connor’s growing sense of dread increased. There were tons of cute girls in his classes, but he doubted any of them would be up for a first date at a wedding. It sent the wrong message. Plus, they would have to travel with him over the break to said wedding.

                “Annabeth,” Connor asked her on the way to his final exam, “do you happen to have any single friends who would like to get swept off their feet?”

                “No.”

                Connor groaned.

                “You could always tell Travis that things didn’t work out.”

                “I’d just be lying to him again. Besides, the whole point of this was that I could hold down another relationship after Miranda.”

                Annabeth shrugged. “I’m not sure what to tell you. It looks like you’ll have to come clean.”

                “Nooooooooo….”

                “Connor, you two make stuff up all the time. He’ll probably understand.”

                “Not this time,” Connor said. “He was worried about me.”

                The bare branches of the trees lined along the walk rattled. All the weather reports were calling for snow. Connor half-hoped that a freak blizzard would block the roads and give him an excuse not to attend the wedding. It would suck not to be there, but it would suck more when Travis and his mom saw him arrive alone.

                He didn’t get why they were so wrapped around the axle about it. Connor and Miranda had broken up a year ago and he was fine. Sure, he’d been down for the first couple of months. He and Miranda hadn’t been crazy in love with each other, but there’s always a lurch when a relationship ends, like a train stopping at a station it didn’t expect. Connor might have let a few things go. Some grades slipped, some parties were missed, no big deal.

                Travis and their mom took it as the great American tragedy. Nothing could convince them that Connor wasn’t depressed, still longing after Miranda, and cutting ties with his friends. So Travis had visited. He had called. Connor had lied. It wasn’t something he wanted to do; it just sort of _happened._ For Connor, lying was like breathing. He didn’t have to think about it.

                Annabeth popped off the top of her coffee. She took a cautious sip. “You know Percy and I will be there, too. We’ll back you up if you need it.”

                “You don’t have to do that.”

                “I don’t mind. What are friends for?”

                “I wish you could be my fake girlfriend, Annabeth.”

                She rolled her eyes at him. “No, you wouldn’t. I’m more than you can handle.”

                “Ooh, watch out,” Connor said, putting a hand on Annabeth’s shoulder. “Vegan guy at twelve o’clock.”

                Up ahead, a young man was passing out pamphlets to everyone who crossed his path. Connor had gotten three from him already. (Most of the pamphlets had gone on to become bookmarks and scratch paper). Connor tried to steer Annabeth in a different direction.

                They were sneaking past when Vegan Guy’s attention suddenly honed in on a hunched figure making its way down the path. Connor had no trouble recognizing Nico. There weren’t a lot of students who pulled off the “half-dead crow” look that well.

                “Excuse me,” Vegan Guy said, hopping in front of Nico, pamphlet outstretched. “Have you ever thought about the cruel treatment of animals?”

                Both Connor and Annabeth paused. Connor expected Nico to grumble something and keep walking, but he froze. Vegan Guy was still talking about the health benefits of a no-meat, no-dairy diet. Nico’s eyes were wide, his jaw locked. If that wasn’t a cry for help, Connor didn’t know what it was.

                Without pausing to think, he walked over. “Hey, Nico! What’s up?”

                Nico broke out of his trance. He turned to Connor. His mouth opened to say something, but Connor cut him off. He grabbed Nico by the backpack.

                “Sorry,” Connor told Vegan Guy. “I gotta steal him.” To Nico, he added, “Finals going okay?”

                Nico resisted for a second. Then he spotted Annabeth and seemed to realize that he was being rescued. “They’re fine,” he said quietly.

                Vegan Guy gave up on Nico and chose another victim who was too late getting her headphones in. Now that the danger had passed, Connor released the backpack. Nico surprised him again by not bolting.

                Annabeth waved. “Hi, Nico. Did you have an exam today?”

                “Last one.” Nico gazed longingly at her coffee cup. Connor wondered how long it would take for Nico to start showing signs of withdrawal.

                “What are you doing over break?”

                Silence. After a long pause, Nico finally said, “I don’t know. The house is being remodeled and we won’t be able to move back in for a couple weeks.”

                “Is there anyone you can stay with?”

                “We’re supposed to stay at my grandfather’s.” Nico let out a heavy sigh.

                Connor was enjoying listening in on the conversation. Last night must have been an outlier. Nico was a lot calmer without a double shot of espresso in his system. The undercurrent of anger was still there, but subdued. Now he seemed more depressed than anything. It didn’t feel like an improvement.

                “You don’t sound happy about it,” Annabeth observed.

                Nico shook his head. “It’s nothing. I’ll figure something out.”

                He left before Connor or Annabeth could reply. They watched Nico shuffling along for a minute, then continued on their way. Annabeth held her cup against her lips.

                “I’m worried about him,” she said. “That’s the first time he’s talked to me in weeks.”

                “I hardly even _see_ him and I live down the hall from him. I think it’s just Nico being Nico.” Connor waved a hand. “It’s exam time. He’s probably stressed out.”

                “You’re right. I just can’t help thinking about what happened…”

                “What did happen, by the way? I’m kind of out of the loop on that one.”

                Annabeth winced. “I don’t want to say. That’s his business. Not really my story to tell.”

                Connor huffed. It wasn’t as if Nico would ever tell him. What was the big secret anyway? Had Nico snapped and murdered someone, and Percy and Annabeth were covering for him? Did Nico rob someone’s grave?

                “You should be thinking about what you’re going to say to Travis,” Annabeth said. “You’re going home the day after tomorrow. Even if you were going to get a date the old fashioned way, that’s not enough time. Anyway, you already know how I feel about your stupid plan.”

                It was Connor’s turn to wince. He tilted his head back, watching the sky for a hint of snow.

 

                “There’s got to be something you can do to help me.”

                Connor thought he’d imagined it at first, but no—that really was Nico di Angelo’s voice outside his door. He hadn’t been able to catch the first sentence, but now that he’d taken his earbuds out, he heard Nico’s voice clear as bell. He sounded distressed.

                _Should I?_ Nico’s footsteps were getting fainter. He wouldn’t notice if Connor’s door opened a crack, surely? Connor got up and peeked outside. Nico was standing at his own door now, but he was being loud enough that Connor could still understand what he was saying.

                “I know it’s last minute… yes.” Deep sigh. “Okay. I’m sorry. Thanks.”

                Nico took his phone away from his ear and ended his call. He stuffed it into his pocket, then knocked his head against his door. Connor leaned farther into the hallway. Nico was motionless. He didn’t seem interested in going into his room.

                _The plot thickens,_ Connor thought. He remembered what Nico had said earlier. Was it possible that he had nowhere to go for winter break? It was already too late to apply for break housing. Nico’s life was looking more and more like a long bus ride to Hell. Nothing must go right for the guy. Why else would he always be so gloomy?

                Connor opened his door the rest of the way. “Nico?”

                Nico lifted his head. His expression was blank. “Oh,” he said, “it’s you. Leave me alone. I’m not in a good mood.”

                “I can see that.” Connor walked toward him. “I happened to overhear—”

                “What is so hard about not sticking your nose in other people’s lives?”

                Connor pressed his hand to his chest. “I’m a social creature. It sounds like you’ve got a problem and I want to help. Come on, you can trust me. I was your OL.”

                “You made shit up about campus every chance you got. Some of the stupid kids actually believed they’d be cursed if they stepped on the discolored brick in front of the library.”

                “I didn’t make that up. That’s a sacred university tradition.”

                Nico fished his key out of his other pocket and moved to unlock his door. He fumbled it. It hit the floor with a jingle. Connor, seeing his chance, swooped in and grabbed them before Nico could. Nico glared like he wanted Connor to burst into flames.

                “I know you don’t want my opinion, but if you don’t have a place to stay, then you should tell someone. Percy or Annabeth would help you out. They’re your friends, right?”  

                “I have a place to stay,” Nico insisted. “I’m just choosing not to.” He made a lunge for the key.

                Connor held it out of reach. “Why not?”

                “How many ways can I say ‘none of your business’? Give me back my key!”

                He wasn’t getting anywhere. Connor handed back Nico’s lanyard. “Fine. Whatever then.”

                Connor headed back to his room in a funk. _I tried. He doesn’t want help. He didn’t even say thank you for saving him from Vegan Guy._ Connor slumped back into his desk chair. Nico could just suck it up and stay at his grandfather’s. If he really didn’t want to go, he could’ve gone home with Percy. Although, that wouldn’t really work, because both Percy and Annabeth were going to Travis’s wedding.

                The wedding.

                Connor stood up so fast he banged both knees on his desk. He’d just had a crazy, horrible idea. Normally he wouldn’t even have considered it. He would’ve laughed it off and never spoken of it. But his back was against the wall. There were no more options.

                He ran to Nico’s door. Connor banged his fist on it as hard as he could. Nico didn’t answer. Connor kept knocking. One of their neighbors stuck their head out to yell at him for being noisy.

                “Sorry, it’s urgent,” Connor said, continuing to knock.

                “I don’t care. Just fucking text him or something.”

                Connor didn’t have Nico’s number. He knocked a little softer. His knuckles were starting to hurt. After what felt like an eternity, the door finally opened. Thank God Nico was short, otherwise Connor would’ve rapped him in the forehead.

                “What?” Nico snarled.

                “Can I come in?”

                “No.”

                Connor stuck as much of his arm as he could through the door before Nico closed it. He didn’t realize how much force Nico had put behind his swing.

                “Jesus Christ! Ow!”

                “That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t done that.”

                “Listen, just hear me out. I know how to get you out of going to your grandfather’s for winter break.”

                “No. Whatever you came up with is probably awful.”

                “You’re right, it is, but neither of us has a choice.”

                “What are you talking about?”

                Connor tried to push the door open with his shoulder. He could feel Nico fighting him. He ignored the pain in his arm and pressed harder. “Percy, Annabeth, and I are going to my place for my brother’s wedding. You could come, too. As a plus one.”

                “Why would I want to go to your brother’s wedding?”

                “Like I said, you don’t have to go to your grandpa’s. Your mom would understand why you wouldn’t be coming home.”

                The pressure lifted slightly. “And after the wedding’s over? They usually don’t last a month. Besides, I wasn’t even invited. There wouldn’t be room for me.”

                “That’s the best part.” Connor cleared his throat. This was going to be difficult. “You’d be… my plus one. Everyone’s allowed to bring one guest and I’m kind of expected to have one…”

                “When you say ‘plus one’,” Nico said slowly, “you mean a date.”

                “Basically.”

                “Fuck you.” Nico forced Connor’s arm out of his room and slammed the door.

                “Nico!” Connor knocked a few more times. “It’s not an actual date! I’m just asking you to pretend—damn it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly shorter chapter? i'm posting this before the fic is done so i'm filling in holes. "strife" is finally coming along so i hope to have that either posted/done soon. stay tuned! hope y'all are enjoying so far. leave me a comment if you are~

               Connor refused to give up. There was no way he was going home without a date. Nico wasn’t his first choice, but he was the only person who might be desperate enough to go through with the plan. Connor didn’t understand Nico’s reasons for not wanting to say with his family, but he seemed to feel strongly about it. Connor needed a chance to explain.

                There was a tiny crack under every door in the dorm, wide enough for take-out menus and fliers. Connor went back to his room for his notebook and a pen. He wrote a quick message to Nico.

                _I’m NOT asking you out. You just have to pretend that we’ve been dating for a while. I can’t show up to the wedding without a date. You don’t have anywhere else to go and I don’t have anyone to with. Please please please please help me out! I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you coffee for the rest of the year. I’ll never speak to you again. _

He pushed the note under the door and waited. To his surprise, it came back out again a few minutes later with more written on it. Connor scanned Nico’s reply.

                _Don’t compare your situation to mine. If you wanted a date so bad, you could’ve asked someone else instead of waiting until the last minute._

Connor quickly scrawled a rebuttal.

                _You don’t understand. I don’t actually want a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. I have to convince my brother I’m not still in love with my ex-girlfriend. I told him I was dating someone and I’d bring them to the wedding. IT’S TOO LATE NOW._

When he tried to pass it under the door this time, the paper folded against something. Nico had blocked it. Connor ground his teeth in frustration. He crumpled up the note and stood up. Why couldn’t Nico see the beauty of it? They’d kill two birds with one stone.

                “Hey, Connor. What’s that?” Michael Yew had paused in front of his room. He pointed at the wadded paper in Connor’s hand. Connor hadn’t even noticed him walk up.

                “It’s a note for Nico,” he said. “He borrowed my laundry detergent and hasn’t given it back yet.” The lie slid from his lips like water off a duck’s back. “I was trying to slip it under his door, but he blocked it off.”

                Michael frowned. “You could always try the bathroom door. I’m his suitemate. He usually keeps his side locked, but there’s enough space underneath for that to go through.”

                _Thank you, Michael._ “Really? I’ll try that then.”

                Michael let Connor in. His room was neat. Everything had its own place. Even his roommate kept his stuff to his own side. Connor was impressed. Hardly anyone he knew had a room this clean.

                “Just knock first to make sure it’s empty,” Michael advised as he sat at his desk. He slipped his headphones over his ears and turned away.

                Michael’s bathroom was just as clean as the dorm room. He was the type who scoured dried toothpaste out of his sink. Nico’s side was less pristine, but he didn’t have a lot of stuff. There was a little shower caddy tucked in the corner along with some cleaning supplies. Anything else must have been in the cabinet.

                Connor got down on his knees, smoothed out his note, and pushed it under the door. He waited. He was starting to think that Nico wouldn’t bother responding to it when the door opened. Connor looked up. Nico stood over him, the note in his hand.

                “You don’t know how to quit.” His eyes blazed.

                “Did you read it?”

                “Yes.” Nico took a step back. “Come in.”

                Connor thought he’d misheard. He scrambled to his feet. “What?”

                “I said you can come in. You have one chance, so you’d better make it good.”

                Connor didn’t waste any time. He had never even seen a glimpse of Nico’s room before. There could be anything beyond the threshold. Would he be the first outsider to ever be permitted inside? As far as Connor knew, not even Percy had visited.

                It was smaller than Connor or Michael’s room. Nico had the same school-issued furniture as everyone else, but all of it was buried under notebooks, fast-food bags, and textbooks. His bed was bunked. Two people might have shared the room the previous year and it had been left as it was when Nico moved in. The top bunk was empty. The bottom was well slept in and unmade.

                Connor was sort of disappointed by how normal it was. He’d been expecting a little more doom and gloom. What _was_ strange was the lack of personal touches. There weren’t any posters or lights, no TV, no game console, not even a plant. For all the time Nico spent in his room, it didn’t feel like a place where he lived.

                Nico pulled out his desk chair, moved his backpack off it, and sat down. He didn’t offer a seat to Connor. Connor decided to take the floor.

                “So. Why is it so important for you to have a date?” Nico asked.

                Connor took a deep breath. “Last year, I broke up with my girlfriend. We’d been dating for a long time. After that, my mom got this crazy idea that I was depressed and heartbroken. She and Travis wouldn’t stop bugging me about it, so I told them I started seeing someone a few months ago. I kind of promised I’d bring them to Travis’ wedding and introduce them.”

                “But that person doesn’t exist.”

                “If they find out I lied about going out, it’s going to make them think I’m not over Miranda. My ex-girlfriend,” he added, remembering that Nico hadn’t been there for all the drama. “I just want them to quit worrying.”

                Nico drummed his fingers on the table. He stared into space, thoughtful. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend. What does that mean?”

                “It means you come home with me for the holidays and act like we’ve been dating for three months.” Connor paused. “You weren’t my first choice.”

                It was the wrong thing to say. Nico’s expression darkened. “Wow. No wonder you couldn’t get an actual date.”

                “Well, I mean… it’s a weird thing to ask. You slammed the door in my face!”

                “That’s because it’s a crazy idea. You can’t just show up with some random guy and say, ‘This is my boyfriend.’ No one’s going to believe that.”

                “Why not?” It had sounded fine to Connor. Travis didn’t go to school here anymore, so he wouldn’t know any better. Their mom definitely wouldn’t.

                “You need pictures,” Nico explained. “If we’ve been dating for three months, then you should have a bunch of pictures of us. On dates and stuff.” He shifted in his chair, as if talking about their hypothetical relationship was making him uncomfortable.

                Connor couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that. He’d been in such a panic just to find someone that he’d forgotten all of the obvious components of dating in the 21st century. Nico was right; Travis would never believe that Connor just “forgot” to take pictures. Connor took pictures of everything.

                “Good point,” Connor said. Then, a thought struck him. “I still have a whole day before I’m supposed to head back. We could go on a practice date and take some pictures.”

                “There wouldn’t be enough.”

                “We can change clothes to make it look like different days.”

                “Why are you so desperate for this to work?”

                “I told you. I need to convince Mom and Travis that I’m fine.”

                Nico fell silent again. He seemed to be mulling it over. Eventually, he said, “What did you tell them about your fake girlfriend-boyfriend-whatever?”

                “Not a lot.” Connor shrugged. “I think I said it was too early to talk about them. Didn’t want Travis or Mom to get too invested. When I promised to bring them to the wedding, I said something like, ‘You’ll just get a bunch of wrong ideas. I want you to meet them in person first.’”

                “That sounds really dodgy. They believed that?”

                “Probably not. Travis stopped bothering me for a while. He usually gives me the benefit of the doubt.”

                “Um…” Nico shifted again. “Will Travis or your mom think it’s weird you’re dating a guy?”

                Connor shook his head. “Mom always said she didn’t mind who I went out with, as long as they were nice.” Although Nico wasn’t very nice. They could work on that.

                Nico gave him a long, searching look. “Have you ever had a boyfriend before?”

                “Nope. Just a girlfriend. You?”

                “No. I don’t date.” Nico turned red.

                _Interesting._ Connor wondered what Nico’s preferences were. It was hard to imagine Nico going out with anyone, guys or girls. Maybe he wasn’t interested in anyone.

                “I really need your help,” Connor said. He held up his empty hands. “I don’t have any other options. I’m begging, here.”

                “Alright.”

                “Alright?”

                “I’ll do it. I don’t have any other options either.”

                “You’re sure?”

                Nico nodded. Connor felt a smile blooming across his face. It quickly vanished, though, when Nico leveled a stern gaze in his direction.

                “First things first,” Nico said. “Let’s talk compensation. If I’m going to be your fake boyfriend, I need more than a place to stay over winter break.”

                “Like what?” _Christ, I’m already giving you free housing for a month._

Nico considered. He sat back in his chair, crossing his ankle over his knee. “I want,” he said, “a favor. You have to do something for me in the future, no questions asked.”

                Connor imagined accompanying Nico to a moonlit graveyard with a shovel. He shuddered. “What kind of favor?”

                “Anything. No questions asked.”

                “As long as it doesn’t involve dead bodies, I’ll do it.” Connor didn’t have time to negotiate. He was already demanding too much from Nico. Besides, it was only one favor. He could handle it.

                Nico rummaged around his desk until he found a pen and paper. “Write it down,” he said, passing them to Connor. “Just to keep things clear.”

                “You’re taking this really seriously.” Connor held the paper against the floor and did his best to write out the terms. When he finished, he let Nico inspect it.

                _Nico di Angelo will agree to be Connor Stoll’s fake boyfriend from Dec. 12 th to Jan. 12th. In return, Connor will provide housing for Nico over the break and do him one (1) favor at some point in the future, which can be cashed in at any time. _

                “What happens if one of us doesn’t hold up our end?” Nico asked.

                “We both get humiliated and you go back to your grandpa’s.”

                Nico set the agreement aside. “Fine. What will I have to do? As your fake boyfriend.”

                “All the typical couple stuff. Holding hands, getting along…”

                “This plan is already doomed.”

                “We’re probably going to have to kiss at some point. In front of other people.”

                Nico closed his eyes. It was a long minute before he opened them. “I don’t do PDA. I don’t like being touched, period.”

                _I could not have asked a worse person. Too late now. He already agreed to go through with it._

                “You have to get used to it or no one will believe us. Look, it doesn’t have to be big. A kiss on the cheek works. Maybe we can practice tomorrow.”

                “I’ll try.” Nico slumped. “God, I really don’t want to go home.”

                Connor hesitated, then asked, “Nico, if there’s something going on or someone’s hurting you…”

                “It’s not like that.” Nico drew his legs up onto the seat of his chair. He hunched behind his knees. “I’ve got my reasons. I don’t want to talk about them.”

                “Okay. You know, if you don’t want to do this, you can still come home with me.”

                “I said I’d do it!” Nico snapped. “You wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important to you. Don’t start backtracking like it’s no big deal.”

                “I’m just trying to be nice,” Connor said.

                “Then get out of my room. I need to think for a while.”

                “Wait,” Connor said on his way to the door. “What are we doing tomorrow?”

                Nico looked blank. “For the practice date? I don’t know. Where do people usually go?”

                Connor ran through a mental list of date spots. He didn’t want to drag Nico anywhere too public. They might be able to pass unnoticed in a movie theater, but there were students crawling over all the local hotspots.

                “I’ll take you for coffee,” he said, unable to think of anything better. “We’ll see where we go from there. Meet me there at one?”

                Nico grunted. It sounded like an assent. Connor took in the room one last time. Despite the piles of trash and dirty clothes, it seemed so empty. Lonely. Nico kept his back to Connor, his head bowed. If Connor didn’t know where to look, Nico would be pretty much invisible.

                “See you tomorrow,” Connor said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's time for the awkward practice date! oh god it took so long to get this chapter to be acceptable (for me). it's 2AM as i post this. i am tired.

               The next day was colder than Connor expected. He shivered through his jacket. Most of his time had been spent packing. His roommate had already cleared out, leaving him to stuff clothes and sheets into boxes in peace. Connor was already thinking about the long drive, with or without Nico. Either way, it would be awkward.

                He checked his phone. It was already fifteen minutes after one and there was no sign of Nico. _I should’ve been more specific. There are three coffee shops just on this street._ There was also the possibility that Nico had backed out. Connor didn’t want to blame him, but Nico was essentially giving him the shaft.

                Connor was about to return to campus when he spotted Nico walking toward him. He was, as usual, all in black, though this pair of jeans wasn’t as ripped as the last. His hoodie had been replaced by a leather aviator’s jacket. It was too big for him.

                “Sorry I’m late,” Nico said when he got closer. “I overslept.”

                “It’s one in the afternoon.”

                Nico glanced away. “I was tired.” To demonstrate, he yawned without covering his mouth.

                “How late did you stay up last night?”

                “I went to bed around… four? I wanna say four.”

                “Then it’s a good thing we’re getting coffee.” Connor pushed open the door to the shop. The bell jingled. “I want to ask what you were doing that late, but I’m afraid of the answer.”

                Nico huffed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he muttered.

                “Hopefully it’ll be worth it when you cash in your favor.”

                “Hopefully.”

                Nico walked up to the counter first. He leaned on it like he needed its support to stay upright. Connor caught up to him and did a quick scan of the chalkboard menu. Just about everything was good here. It wasn’t the number one coffee shop near campus, but it was a favorite of Annabeth’s. (Connor was glad she’d already gone home; he would hate to run into her with Nico in tow.)

               The barista was also—thankfully—no one he knew. She didn’t seem to be affected by Nico’s aura. “Hi guys. What can I get you today?”

               “One large black coffee,” Nico said.

               “Can I get a medium white chocolate mocha?”

                Nico’s head swiveled around. Connor ignored the death glare and smiled back at the barista. When she rang them up, Connor got to his wallet first.

                “I’m treating you,” Connor whispered when Nico glared at him again. “Practice date.”

                Nico looked panicked at the words “practice date” but the barista either hadn’t heard or was ignoring them. They got their coffee and retreated to a corner of the shop where there were less people. Connor sat facing the door, just in case a familiar face came in.

                “This isn’t going to work,” Nico said. He wrapped his hands around his cup. He was wearing knitted fingerless gloves. They were unbearably cute. “Coffee shouldn’t have whipped cream on it.”

                “That’s your opinion.” Connor licked said whipped cream off the top. Nico made a face. “At this point in our fake relationship, we should be past the point of arguing about ‘real coffee’.”

                “That,” Nico pointed at the white chocolate mocha, “is milk with coffee in it.”

                “We can’t all be caffeine fiends.”

                Nico put his chin in his hand. “I’m not even sure I can pretend to _like_ you. There’s no way anyone will believe I’m _attracted_ to you.”

                “That’s what the practice date is for,” Connor said. “Believe me, I need to work on my act, too.”

                Nico gazed darkly at him over the edge of his cup. “What are you implying?”

                “Nothing,” Connor said as innocently as he could manage. He took a quick swallow of mocha. “I’m not used to… going out with guys. That’s what I meant.”

                “Me neither,” Nico said quickly.

                They didn’t talk for a while. Connor remembered that Nico wasn’t used to going out in general. _This is his first date. I’m stealing it from him. Does it count if we’re not actually into each other?_ Connor started to fidget in the silence. It felt weird, not saying anything.

                “Um, I thought we could see a movie.” Connor pulled out his phone. “There’s some good stuff playing. What kind of movies do you like?”

                “I don’t watch a lot of movies.”

                “Oh.”

                Nico ducked behind his coffee cup. “I’m, uh, fine with anything. You can pick.”

                Connor scrolled through the show times. He picked the one that would be least likely to offend. He hoped Nico didn’t mind kid’s movies. Connor started to put his phone away, then remembered what Nico had said about pictures. He opened up the camera.

                “Hey,” he said, pointing the lens at Nico. “Smile.”

                Nico tried to hide again by taking a drink. Connor snapped the photo anyway. It had a candid feel. It made it seem more real, somehow. He showed it to Nico.

                “Cute, right?” he asked.

                Nico shook his head.

                “You’re so unhelpful. You’re the one who said I needed photographic evidence of dates.”

                Nico finished his drink first. They had an hour to kill before the movie, but now that Nico was slightly more awake, he seemed in a hurry to leave the café. Connor could see why. More students were filtering in. They weren’t staying, but there were enough of them Connor recognized. If they turned their heads and spotted him, they might come over to say hi. He didn’t want to put Nico in that position.

                Connor drained his cup. “Let’s go,” he said, gathering his hat and scarf. “We can walk around town until the movie starts.”

                After sitting in the heated bubble of the coffee shop, the winter chill seemed harsher. Connor’s teeth chattered as soon as they were a block away. Nico was unaffected.

                “Aren’t you cold?” Connor asked. Nico wasn’t wearing scarf or a hat, and he’d left his jacket open.

                “No.”

                “Are you used to it because you work in a morgue?”

                Nico rolled his eyes. “I don’t work in a morgue. I’ve always been like this. I just don’t mind that much.”

                They passed a few antique shops, a music store, and a local bar. They had their Christmas hours posted on a huge sign stuck in the window. Someone had drawn Santa Claus and a couple of elves sitting on bar stools with pints of beer.

                “You’re going to work in a morgue someday,” Connor pointed out.

                “I’m learning embalming, not autopsies. If I’m going to work anywhere, it’s going to be a funeral home.”

                “Spooky.”

                “If I don’t hear that word again in another hundred years, it’ll be too soon.”

                “No spooky. Got it. Anything else?”

                “While we’re pretending to date, no pet names. Call me anything other than my name and I’ll kill you,” he said.

                “Fine,” Connor said begrudgingly. He didn’t see how they were going to convince anyone if he didn’t occasionally break out a “sweetie” or “honey” but there were couples who stayed away from that stuff. Nico really had nothing to worry about, in his opinion. Connor wasn’t going to start calling him “pumpkin” out of nowhere.

 Nico tilted his head back. The wind pushed his bangs out of his eyes. He would look good if he cleaned up a little. Definitely good enough to introduce to your mother.

                Connor and Nico walked another block. They paused for a light at a street corner. An old man was playing guitar in front of yet another antique shop. Connor glanced at Nico’s hands. They were tucked safely in his pockets. Connor decided to just dive in.

                “Can I hold your hand?”

                Nico started. “Right now?”

                “We’re supposed to be practicing. Gimme.”

                Reluctantly, Nico withdrew a hand from his jacket and held it out. Connor took it. Nico’s skin was warmed by where it had been. His gloves were soft and nubbly. Nico looked around, as if they were being watched.

                “Don’t worry,” Connor said, giving Nico’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “No one cares.”

                A hint of a blush appeared around Nico’s ears. He returned the squeeze, then his hand went limp. “This is weird,” he mumbled.

                “Pretend I’m someone you like.”

                “That’s not going to make it better,” Nico said. The blush was spreading to his cheeks now. “How long are we supposed to do this for?”

                Connor shrugged. He used to hold hands with Miranda until it got inconvenient. The walk sign lit up. He tugged on Nico’s arm. Nico resisted for a second, then crossed the street hand-in-hand with Connor. They managed to keep pace, despite Nico’s shorter legs.

                “Put more of an effort into it,” Connor said once they’d passed the next block. “Right now I’m holding your hand, but you’re not holding mine.”

                “Isn’t that good enough?”

                “Couple stuff is a team effort. It won’t kill you.”

                Nico’s fingers curled gently around Connor’s palm. “Better?”

                “Yeah.” Connor’s stomach had done a weird little flip. _I’m nervous about pulling this off. I have to teach him everything._

                They walked for a few more blocks, getting used to the idea of physical contact and matching stride. Nico’s eyes kept darting around as if they were being spied on. It would be a while before he got comfortable. Connor could tell. He thought of what Nico had told him earlier. He said he didn’t date. Was he one of those people who had no interest in romance?

                “Can we stop now?” Nico finally asked. He didn’t wait for Connor to answer, just yanked his hand away. “I feel ridiculous.”

               

                Connor didn’t try any other public displays of affection after that. He drove himself and Nico to the movie theater with the radio on to avoid talking. It was a slow day at the theater. Barely anyone was around. That was a relief. Though he and Nico didn’t appear to be on a date, Connor knew Nico didn’t want to be seen by their peers.

                “Do you want a soda?” Connor asked as he dug through his pockets for his wallet.

                Nico shrugged.

                Connor got him one anyway. He also bought a tub of popcorn to share. Nico looked warily at the size of his soda cup. It had struck Connor before that Nico was small for his age. Holding onto his Coke, he looked like a kid.

                “On second thought,” he told the guy behind the counter, “we’ll just share the one.” He grabbed an extra straw.

                Their theater was practically deserted. Connor made a beeline for the back row. From there, he could see a couple of other movie watchers. There was a dad with his two kids and a couple. The guy had his arm slung across the back of his girlfriend’s seat. Connor remembered trying the yawning trick with Miranda. He remembered her laughing at him.

                Nico placed the popcorn and soda between them. He pulled his legs onto his seat. “This better be good,” he said.

                “It got good reviews.”

                The theater darkened for the first trailer. Nico was quiet through all of them. Connor kept an eye on him, curious as to whether anything caught his interest. It seemed like nothing moved him, not even a teaser for the next installment of a blockbuster series. When the movie actually started, he continued to sit there like a statue. He didn’t laugh along with Connor and the rest of the audience during the funny parts and his heartstrings remained un-tugged during the emotional ones.

                Connor didn’t understand. Was he doing it on purpose or did this stuff really not get to him? He’d hardly touched their popcorn either. If this were a normal date, Connor would be thinking of ways to end it as quickly and painlessly as possible.

                “What did you think?” Connor asked as the credits rolled.

                “It was good.” Nico stood up. He took a drag on their shared Coke. “The ice melted.”

                “You should’ve had some earlier,” Connor said, taking the cup back. Nico was right. The flavor was diluted. Connor had been so wrapped up in the movie he’d forgotten about their drink.

                “Do you like movies like these?”

                “I like movies in general. I guess you don’t. I was scared you hated it.”

                Nico shrugged. “I don’t see the point in getting worked up over them.”

                Connor checked the time as they walked into the dimly lit hallway. It was too early for dinner, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do. Nico seemed to realize this, too. He put his hands into his jacket pockets and looked around.

                “Do you want to see another?” Connor blurted. “That one’s just starting.” He pointed at a theater across the hall. It was showing some kind of action movie.

                “I guess?”

                “Then let’s go.”

                “Wait.” Nico grabbed the back of Connor’s jacket. “You’re just going to walk in?”

                “Yeah. No one’s watching.”

                “Last I checked, you have to pay to see movies here.”

                Connor removed Nico’s hand. “I do it all the time. Don’t worry.” To prove it, he waltzed straight into the theater. It was already dark inside. The trailers were starting.

                A minute passed before Nico came in, looking harried. “We’re going to get caught,” he whispered.

                “Nah,” Connor whispered back. He groped for Nico’s arm in the darkness. “Let’s find seats.”

                Nico jerked his arm out of reach. “You do this all the time, huh?”

                “Don’t act like you never wanted to try it.” Connor winked, though it might have been lost in the shadows. “The prices for tickets are criminal anyway. I might as well have paid for two movies.”

                It looked like Nico wanted to say more, but he gave up. He followed Connor into the seats. There were more people in this theater than the other. Connor still managed to nab a pair of seats along the back wall.

                “It better be worth it,” Nico muttered, folding his arms across his chest.

                “Are you really that upset?”

                “I don’t think it’s fair to the people who work here.”

                “Nico, we’re two people. Two people out of… a lot.” Connor didn’t know how many numbers the theater usually pulled.

                “But if you can do it, that means it’s okay for everyone to sneak into movies. You have no idea how many people actually pay for stuff.”

                Connor leaned on the armrest between them. “Do you secretly work here or something?”

                “No. It’s just that some rules are put there for a _reason_.” Nico sighed. “I’m not saying that I agree with every single rule in existence, but there has to be a balance.”

                _Oh._ Connor sat back. He’d never thought about it that way. Make no mistake, he wasn’t about to walk out. They were here now and he might as well take advantage of it. He wondered what laws Nico agreed with and which ones he didn’t. Nico’s general appearance and character didn’t suggest “Goody Two-Shoes.”

                This movie was just a bunch of fight scenes with some explosions and stunts mixed in. Connor tilted his head towards Nico’s again and said, “Is this more your style?”

                “No,” Nico said with a disbelieving snort. Muttering, he added, “Maybe it’s better we didn’t pay to see this.”

                Connor chuckled. “It’s going to be hard convincing people I fell for you if you don’t like movies.”

                “I never said I didn’t like them.” Nico turned his head slightly. A gasoline explosion lit up the side of his face. “You said… you said that Percy and Annabeth were going to the wedding, too. Is anyone else we know invited?”

                Connor shook his head. “As far as I know, they’re the only ones. Annabeth’s going to see through us in a second” _I just complained to her about not having a date_ “but Percy might buy it. I asked her to keep my love life between us.”

                “Ah,” Nico said. He nodded slowly. “Annabeth won’t tell him while we’re there?”

                “Probably not, if we ask her nicely. Percy’s a good guy, but he runs his mouth.”

                “He’s going to know we haven’t been dating as long as you say we have.”

                “No he won’t. He doesn’t have to know the details. Besides we can say we were going out on the down-low.” Connor grinned at Nico. “You didn’t want to be seen in public with the Movie Theater Bandit.”

                Nico awarded him with an amused smile. “And _you_ didn’t want to be seen in public with the Freak of Freeley Hall.”

                “That’s good. Do people actually call you that?”

                “Sometimes.”

                They watched a bit more of the movie. Connor found it hard to pay attention. There was so much happening at once and the camera shook a lot, making him dizzy. He started scanning the audience. There were more couples at this movie than the last.

                _I can’t really see them, but I can tell they’re couples,_ Connor thought. He looked at Nico again. Strangers needed to see him and Nico and assume they were dating without a second’s thought. This pattern of no contact was killing their credibility.

                “Hey,” Connor whispered. “Put your head on my shoulder.”

                Nico sighed, but didn’t complain. He leaned over so that he could reach. Connor took Nico’s hand where it lay on the armrest and tilted his head as well. It was a little awkward, if only because of the height difference, but they’d managed the effect.

                “This is so weird,” Nico said. “It doesn’t make sense for us to be cuddling.”

                “I know. It doesn’t have to. Couples will get touchy-feely over anything. Trust me.”

                “People can see us.”

                “That’s kind of the point. We have to be a little bit gross, Nico. Remember we have to do this in front of Travis and my mom. Otherwise they’ll figure out I’m lying.”

                Nico pressed his lips together.

                “I won’t ask too much of you, I promise,” Connor said. “As long as you don’t freak out when I touch you, we’re golden.”

                “I can manage,” Nico said. True to his word, he didn’t move until the credits started rolling.

 

                They had dinner at a local restaurant. It was within walking distance of campus, meaning Connor had tried holding hands a second time. Nico was less squirrely about it. That might have been because there were less observers. Everyone was inside, avoiding the cold. By the time they arrived at the restaurant, Connor’s face was smarting.

                “Let’s go over a few details,” Connor said while they waited for their order. “How much do we actually know about each other?”

                “Not much,” Nico admitted. “I swear, I’ve known you for what feels like an eternity and I don’t even remember what your major is.”

                “Theater.”

                Nico stared at Connor like he’d grown a second head. _He seriously didn’t know?_ Connor thought he had been exaggerating.

                ““Okay,” Connor said, “now I’m a little insulted.”

                “Everything’s starting to make sense.”

                “Is that your way of saying I’m dramatic? But seriously, how could you not know this? I was Algernon in _The Importance of Being Earnest_.”

                “Well, I didn’t see it,” Nico said, rolling his eyes. “It didn’t come on TV or anything. How was I supposed to know?”

                Connor sighed. “Let’s add that to me thinking you’d work in a morgue and call it even. Just remember it for later. I guess we can’t tell them you saw me on stage and fell in love at first sight.”

                “That’s the thing: how did we meet? They’re going to ask and they’re going to expect a story.”

                “Alright, I saw _you_ cutting open a corpse when I made a wrong turn in the science building and I thought it was beautiful the way you—”

                Nico groaned. “Be serious.”

                “I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas.”

                “Why can’t it be something like… we’ve lived down the hall from each other for years and just started talking one day?”

                “That’s so boring!” Connor complained. “There’s gotta be pining. Like, you had a crush on me and finally worked up the nerve one day while we were doing laundry.”

                “No. I can pretend to do everything but _pine_ for you.” For some reason, Nico’s face had gone pink. Connor thought it might’ve been the cold. “How about we cut the crap and say we got drunk and hooked up?”

                It was Connor’s turn to give a stern, “No. That’s not me and it’s not you, either.”

                Nico blinked in surprise. He looked down at the table, chastened. “We can figure it out later.”

                Connor agreed, even though they left tomorrow. There were more important parts of their act to refine. “Why don’t we start by talking our way through this like it was a real first date? Pretend you’ve never met me before.”

                “Ugh, I wish,” Nico said, but it lacked teeth. “So… uh…”

                “Where are you from?”

                “Do you mean originally or where I live when I’m not at school?”

                “Both.”

                “I live in D. C. I was born in Italy.”

                Connor whistled. “Cool. How old were you when you moved?”

                “About six. My grandfather works for the embassy. After my dad left…” Nico paused. “Anyway, my mom thought we’d be better off in the states. Venice is sinking and the infrastructure’s not great.”

                “I don’t know if it’s any better here,” Connor joked. “But that’s really cool. Can you speak Italian?”

                A small smile appeared. “Actually, I do. I used it to finish my second language requirements. I tested out once I got here, but I took a few classes for the credits.”

                “Smart. I’m pretty much stuck with English. Though I have been called ‘Man of A Thousand Accents.’ Do you want to hear some?”

                “Please don’t.”

                Connor laughed. He was pretty sure Nico had never mentioned any of this during freshman orientation icebreakers, but maybe Connor had just forgotten. He thought back, trying to recall any relevant information.

                “Didn’t you like playing games? I think you mentioned it when we played Trainwreck.”

                “Yeah, a little. I don’t much anymore.”

                “Why not?” Connor put his elbows on the table. (It didn’t count as long as there wasn’t food out.) “You could’ve joined the tabletop club.”

                Nico shook his head. “I’m too busy.”

                Connor suspected Nico was lying, but he didn’t want to push it. He decided to change the subject. “Y’know, I thought with you being all mysterious and hidden in your room, I’d know less about you than you know about me. But since you never even went to _one_ of our plays…”

                “You actually sound like a nagging boyfriend right now.”

                Connor ignored the comment. “I have to wonder how well you really know me.”

                “I know you’re a liar and a petty criminal,” Nico said. “And that you have an older brother named Travis. You’re an orientation leader.” He thought for a few seconds. “We have mutual friends. There’s an idea for how we got together.”

                Connor snapped his fingers. “Good. We might be able to work with that.”

                “Wait, no,” Nico said, sagging. “Percy and Annabeth are going to be there. We can’t make up a story involving them.”

                “Shit, you’re right.”

                “Anyway, that’s all I know. That and you’re a coffee pleb.”

                _Did he just call me a pleb?_ Connor chose to gloss over the insult. He played with the wrapping from his straw while he talked. “Well, I’m twenty-two, I like piña-coladas and getting caught in the rain—”

                “Do you have a compulsion to make bad jokes or what?”

                “I like having fun,” Connor said. “I like making people laugh. Remember last year’s April Fool’s Day? That was hilarious.”

                “Are you telling me _you_ were the one who put Nicolas Cage’s face on everything in the dorm?” Nico said. “I tried taking the one off my door and there was _another_ Nicolas Cage underneath it.”

                Connor snickered. “That was good, wasn’t it? It was Travis’ idea.”

                “When did you even find time to do it?”

                “Early in the morning, while most of you were sleeping,” Connor said, wiggling his fingers. “I also put bubble bath in the fountain that one time. And changed all the library’s computer wallpapers to make it look like there was a bug on the screen.”

                Nico rolled his eyes. “I guess I can pretend I find your immaturity charming.”

 

“Was that a good practice date?” Connor asked.

                “I wouldn’t know. It was okay, I guess.”

                The sun was setting. All around campus, the lamps were coming on. Connor could see the yellow dots blinking into existence in the distance. He and Nico were still mostly in the dark. The number of lit windows in their dorm was so low it could be counted on one hand. The quiet was deafening.

                Nico rubbed his eyes. “Are you going to walk me back to my room?”

                “I can. Though I think we should do the last thing out here.”

                “The last thing?”

                “Kissing. Or we can put a raincheck on that. You’re supposed to wait until the third date,” Connor added when he noticed the distress in Nico’s eyes.

                “No.” Nico stopped and turned to face him. “We’re not going to have a chance to practice before we go to your mom’s.”

                “We really don’t have to…”

                “Connor, if your boyfriend doesn’t kiss you, they’re going to know something’s wrong. Let me do this while no one’s watching.”

                “Alright,” Connor said. “You don’t have to kiss me on the lips if you’re not comfortable with that.”

                Nico nodded. He looked very young all of a sudden. Actually, Connor _felt_ young. He could remember being a teenager, learning how to kiss, having his first. _Is this Nico’s first? Wow, I feel like a creep. Maybe I should do him two favors._

Nico stepped closer to him. He put his hands on Connor’s shoulders. Connor debated where to put his hands. He ended up placing them on Nico’s waist. He felt Nico tense underneath them.

                “Sorry,” he said.

                “It’s fine.” Nico’s fingers dug into his shoulders. Like he was trying to ground himself. Determination glittered in Nico’s eyes.

                There was definitely something attractive about the way Nico was looking at Connor right now. He was flushed again. Connor could see the color of his eyes, even in the fading light. They were dark brown, close to being black. Connor was tempted to touch his hair. It seemed soft.

                “Thanks for taking me out,” Nico said softly. Then he leaned up and pressed his lips against Connor’s cheek. They were slightly rough. Connor smelled coffee and something that must have been Nico’s shampoo.

                _He washed his hair for our date. That’s sweet._

Nico stepped back. “How was that?”

                Connor touched the place where Nico had kissed him. “Nice,” he said. “You should be able to do it quick, too. Like this.” He planted a fast peck on Nico’s cheek. Even though their mouths hadn’t touched, Connor thought, _I kissed a boy. He kissed me._

Nico went completely red. He put a hand against his face and pointed at Connor with the other. “Warn me next time you’re about to do that.”

Connor giggled. “I will. But you’ll have to expect it. It’s not like we can plan for every single one.”

                “Just ask. Or tap me on the shoulder or something.”

                “Okay, we’ll come up with a signal.”

                Nico gazed up in the direction of their floor. He sighed. “We’re leaving tomorrow, right? I’ll get everything packed up tonight so that I can throw my stuff in your car.”

                “It’s a long drive,” Connor said. “So you’ll want to get up early. We’ll go at eleven.”

                “I can be up by then.”

                Connor hesitated before asking, then said, “If you wanna bring CDs or something…”

                “I don’t have any. You can play what you want.” Nico waved a hand and let it drop in a defeated way. “Called my mom last night. I told her I wasn’t coming home.”

                “How did she take it?”

                “She wasn’t upset, but she wasn’t happy. I think she really wants me to have friends.”

                “What about your granddad? Was he upset?”

                Nico’s face went blank. “He didn’t say.”

                Connor guessed that Nico’s grandfather _did_ say something. Though he had no idea what it was, Nico’s sudden emotional retreat and fervent desire to avoid visiting made Connor suspect bad blood between the two.

                “Welp,” Connor said, putting his chilly hands in his pockets. “I better start getting my stuff together.”

                “Me, too.” As they went inside, Nico added, “Are you _sure_ this is going to work?”

                _I’m not_. “Absolutely.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at school, back at school! i've got a packed week/weekend coming up. been working hard on this fic, the third installment of "the thief and the angel" and some original stuff. progress on this one might be slow but i'm gonna do my best to deliver :D shoot me a comment if you like what i'm doing; it helps motivate me!

If Connor had to define the word “awkward” he would say, “A three-hour drive with Nico di Angelo in the passenger seat.”

                Not only did Nico seem tense as he climbed into Connor’s sedan, but he hadn’t said anything besides, “Good morning.” There had been some nonverbal communication as they’d figured out where to put their stuff. That was it.

                “What kind of music do you like?” Connor asked, his hand hovering over the radio buttons.

                Nico shrugged. He sipped from a cardboard cup. “You can play whatever. It’s your car.”

                Connor chose one of the pop music stations he was familiar with. Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” blasted from the speakers. Connor stifled a nervous chuckle as he turned it down. He wanted to say something profound. All that came to mind was, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

                He kept his mouth shut. Connor made sure Nico was buckled in and pulled out of the campus parking lot. The campus faded behind them.

 

                The first leg of the trip was easy. Connor didn’t mind driving on the highway. Travis said merging always gave him the jitters. Connor enjoyed going fast in straight lines, not having to turn the wheel or maneuver very much. You saw a more interesting array of cars, too. He spotted a few SUVs with fake reindeer horns attached to them.

                Nico, who had started out sitting ramrod straight with his legs crossed, had reclined his seatback and had pulled his feet underneath him. The empty coffee cup rattled in the holder. Nico still hadn’t said much. He was on his phone most of the time.

                “I’m gonna stop up here,” Connor said as they passed a sign for a rest area. “That cool?”

                Nico grunted without looking up from his screen.

                Connor couldn’t blame him. This was a big commitment. In a couple hours, the act would begin for real. A part of Connor wanted to turn around and delay for just one more day. But his mom had called that morning to ask when to expect him.

                “I can’t wait to meet this person you’ve been keeping a secret from us,” she’d said. “You still haven’t told me their name.”

                “His name’s Nico.” That was the point of no return. Saying his name meant it was real. Connor had waited while his mom digested the information.

                “That’s a nice name,” she’d said eventually. “I’m looking forward to get to know him. Travis is, too. Should I tell him or are you waiting to reveal that yourself?”

                “I’ll tell him.” Connor didn’t want to ignite Travis’ suspicion. After all, Travis knew who Nico was. He’d never believe Connor was going out with Nico unless he saw them together.

                “Alright, honey. Drive safely and see you soon.”

                Even though his mom had told him it didn’t matter who he liked, so long as they made him happy, Connor had to wonder what she really thought of her youngest son suddenly dating a boy. Connor had never given much thought to his sexuality. He’d always considered himself a “go with the flow” kind of guy. Now that he was actually pretending to be in an established relationship, he might have to nail down some kind of label, just to make things easier. The trouble was, this was one of the few things he wasn’t comfortable lying about. He didn’t want to say he was gay if he wasn’t. He also didn’t want to leap too quickly to bisexual either.

                Connor wanted to express some of these worries to Nico, but he didn’t know him well enough. Nico definitely did _not_ want to discuss that sort of thing. Connor could tell by looking at him.

                “How big is Travis’ wedding going to be?” Nico asked when they stopped.

                “Not very. It’s just going to be a few friends and family.”

                “Is it going to be in a church?”

                “No. We don’t really go to church,” Connor said. “What about you, by the way? We forgot to go over the forbidden subjects on our date: politics and religion.”

                “My family’s Catholic.”

                Connor noticed that he didn’t say, “I’m Catholic.” It was worth tucking away for later. “Well, no worries. We like to sleep in on Sundays. My mom was always more into ancient theology—Greek and Roman stuff.”

                “Mmm,” Nico said. “I need a suit.”

                “You don’t have one? Why didn’t you mention that before?”

                “I forgot. I was more worried about the scam.”

                “Oh, don’t call it scam. You make it sound like we’re conning people out of their money.”

                “Why not? It’s right up your alley.”

                Connor blew out a short breath. “We’ll go shopping once we’re there. I guess I should’ve expected this. It’s not like you needed a suit at school.”

                Once Connor was rested, they got back in the car and kept driving. Connor had to switch the radio stations as they traveled. He was comforted by the familiar stations that used to wake him up on school days. Nico had shifted to leaning against the window. Until he moved to scratch his chin, Connor thought he had fallen asleep.

                They were in Connor’s hometown before he knew it. Connor found himself relaxing as soon as he pulled onto the exit ramp. This visit would be different from all the others—not just because of Nico—but the streets and signs had an immediate effect on him. There was nothing particularly noteworthy about his town. It was only significant because Connor remembered it.

                When they entered the suburbs, Connor started to experience the reality of what was happening. People’s houses and trees were strung with lights. They’d switched the flags that hung from their front porches to snowman and “Happy Holidays” banners. A few families had giant inflatables on their lawns.

                “The houses are pretty big,” Nico observed.

                “They’re not really,” Connor said. He felt like he did before he walked onstage—primed and ready to go off at the slightest jolt. It was as if he were standing in the wings, waiting for his cue.

                His house hadn’t changed much since Connor had last been home. His mom had put out the lights and there was a wreath on the door, but that was it for decorations. Nico leaned forward to get a better view. Connor almost wanted to apologize for it being so plain.

Connor silently rehearsed what he was going to say to his mom as he pulled into the driveway. Normally he’d feel comforted by the sight of home. Today his stomach was twisting into knots. Nico looked sick.

                “Gonna be okay?” Connor asked.

                Nico nodded. He unbuckled his seatbelt. “Let’s get it over with,” he said.

                Connor did the same. He got his suitcase from the trunk. It looked like only his mom was at home. That was a relief. Connor had a different spiel to offer Travis. He’d need a bit more time to hammer that one out.

                He and Nico climbed the steps to the front porch. Nico seemed to be taking in the décor. Connor’s mom had a thing for container plants and wind chimes. Connor rang the doorbell and waited. He would’ve walked right in if Nico hadn’t been with him. Connor swallowed his fear.

                “Connor?” Beatrice Stoll peeked her head out. “Oh good! You’re here. I was afraid you’d get caught in traffic.”

                “Hi, Mom. It wasn’t that bad, actually.”

                Beatrice opened the door the rest of the way. It took her a second to process Nico. Connor watched her face closely, searching it for shock or disappointment. There was a flicker of surprise, then it melted away into a smile.

                “Are you two going to wait on the porch all day? Come in.” She stepped aside to let them through.

                Connor resisted the urge to sigh with relief. The first stage was cleared. On to the next challenge. Nico stood awkwardly in the foyer, staring at the shoe pile. He played with the straps on his duffle.

                “I’m Beatrice.” She held out a hand to Nico. “You’re going to be staying with us?”

                Nico flinched. Connor gave him a nudge and he shook hands. “Um, yeah,” he said. “That’s okay, right?”

                “Of course it is. We have plenty of room. My house is a big empty nest these days.” Beatrice turned to her son. “Go and drop your things in the guest room.”

                “This way,” Connor said, nodding toward the hall.

                The guest room used to be Connor’s, but was converted after he moved to college. It wasn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened. Travis’s was an office. As soon as Connor opened the door, he realized he’d forgotten to mention something: there was only one bed.

                “I see,” Nico said, slipping his bag off his shoulder.

                “I can always take the floor,” Connor whispered. His mom hadn’t followed them, but she could still be listening.

                “We’ll work something out.” Nico dumped the duffle in the corner. “Is your mom the kind of person who walks into people’s rooms without knocking?”

                “Um…”

                “Is Travis?”

                “About that…”

                Nico sighed. “At least it’s big enough for two people. You could’ve warned me.”

                “I honestly didn’t think about it,” Connor said. He chewed on his bottom lip. _Of course Mom would think one bed would be fine. I told her I was bringing a significant other._

Beatrice was waiting in the kitchen. She had just made a fresh pot of coffee. “Do either of you want any?” she asked, drifting toward the cupboard.

                “I’ll take some,” Nico said.

                _Predictable._ Connor raised his hand. He needed something to keep him occupied, otherwise he might start fidgeting. Beatrice was good at spotting a lie. Convincing her would be the hardest part of the whole charade.

                “Sugar? Milk?” Beatrice said, filling two more cups.

                “No thanks.”

                Connor moved toward the sugar bowl. He was going to need at least three spoonful’s.

                Once they were settled with their coffee, Beatrice leaned against the counter, her mug cradled in both hands. To an outside observer she might look soft in her sweater and worn jeans, but Connor knew better. She could strike at any minute. He braced himself.

                “So,” she said, “what’s your thing, Nico?”

                Nico drew a blank. He glanced at Connor for help.

                “What’s your major? Any career plans?” Beatrice clarified.

                “I’m a… mortuary sciences major. With a minor in history.”

                “Interesting. You don’t meet many of those.” Beatrice stirred her coffee idly. “How about hobbies? Are you in any clubs?”

                Nico squirmed a little. “I, uh, I’m not in any clubs.” He turned pink. “I like… I like strategy games.”  

                “I’m sorry for interrogating you,” Beatrice said. “ _Someone_ refused to share anything with me, so I’ll have to get to know you the old fashioned way.”

                “Mom!”

                Beatrice raised an eyebrow. “Well, you never even told me his name until this morning. I didn’t even know he was a ‘he.’”

                Connor stared at the floor. “I wanted to wait.”

                “Um, where’s your bathroom?” Nico said quickly. This was clearly not a conversation he wanted to be a part of.

                “Just down the hall,” Beatrice said.

                Nico made his escape. He shot a sympathetic look Connor’s way before disappearing around a corner. Connor wished he could get out of this. Beatrice drummed her fingers against the countertop.

                “Are you ashamed of him?” she said.

                “No. Why would I be?”

                “I don’t know. He seems nice so far, if a little jittery.”

                “He’s shy.”

                Beatrice thought for a moment. “Baby, you know I don’t care if you want to date a boy—”

                “That’s not it,” Connor said. “I was just taking things slow. It’s hard enough dating someone at our school. Everyone knows everyone and it can get really messy. And… Nico isn’t out yet.”

                It felt wrong to say it. Connor didn’t like to lie about Nico, especially when he wasn’t in the room. In truth, he didn’t know anything about Nico’s sexuality. It was bad enough he was asking him to pretend. _Oh God, what if he really isn’t out yet?_

                “And you?”

                “I guess I’m not either,” Connor admitted.

                “Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry if I put you in a bad position.” Beatrice looked genuinely worried. She put down her cup and crossed the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Connor. “You could’ve told me.”

               “It’s fine, really. We were about to go public anyway. I thought this would be a good way to get out there. Katie and Travis’s wedding is going to be pretty small.”

               Beatrice stepped back. She searched his face. Connor wondered if she could sense his lies. Then, she said, “Are you happy?”

               “Yeah, Mom.”

               “That’s all that matters.” She patted his back. “I’m glad.”

 

               Beatrice released them to unpack properly after that. She must have decided she could drill Nico for more information later. Connor was relieved. So far, it was going better than expected. His mother had swallowed the story. Travis might, too.

                They were putting their clothes into the dresser when Nico said, “That was quick thinking, telling your mom we weren’t out yet. It explains why there’s no evidence of us dating.”

“You were listening?” Connor felt his face heat up. “I’m sorry. I had to make some stuff up on the fly. It got kind of dramatic, but I didn’t know what else to—”

                “Connor.”

                Connor stopped. Nico had a spare t-shirt bunched up in his hands. He was stiff as a board, his cheeks paler than usual. For a second, Connor thought he was mad.

                “You… you weren’t technically lying,” Nico said. The color rushed back to his face. Very quietly, he said, “I’m not… out yet.”

                Connor let it sink in. His eyes widened. “What?”

                “You heard me.”

                “Why didn’t you say something?”

                “I didn’t think it mattered. We’re pretending anyway.”

                “But…” Connor struggled to put his thoughts in a line. “If you do this, then that means I’m dragging you out. That’s not fair.”

                Nico shrugged. “Like you said, it’s only a few people.”

                “Percy and Annabeth are going to be here.”

                “You already told Annabeth we’re faking.” Nico turned away. He shoved the t-shirt into the drawer. “Besides, Percy knows.”

                _He does? How come Percy knows?_ “Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?”

                “Are you?” Nico whipped around, his eyes flinty. “What about your sexuality, Connor?”

                Connor’s mouth went dry. He found it difficult to make eye contact with Nico all of a sudden. He picked something else to focus on. There was a black and white photo of a chrysalis behind Nico’s head that did the trick.

                “I like girls,” he said. _I thought I did. I don’t know anymore._

“Alright. Then that’s settled.”

                Connor wanted to say something more, about how it wasn’t really settled, when he heard voices coming from the living room. Nico looked like a startled rabbit.

                “Is someone else here?” he asked.

                “Yeah,” Connor said. “It’s Travis.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i'm sorry this is late. things haven't been going exactly well for me lately and i needed a little distance to be satisfied with this chapter. i'm still not super satisfied with it but whatcha gonna do. anyway, i'm really busy this semester so that means i have much less time to write. don't worry though, this fic will be completed i swear.

               When Connor and Nico crept out of the guest room, Connor noticed that there was a distinct lack of his older brother. _I swear I heard him._ Had Travis and Beatrice gone into the kitchen? Nico looked up at Connor, probably confused about where everyone went.

                “I’ll bet he’s helping himself to the Keurig,” Connor said.

                “Do you know what you’re going to say to him?”

                Connor shrugged. “I’ve got an idea. Just remember to stay cool. We can do this.”

                Nico took a deep breath and waved Connor on. This was it. Time to test the act against Travis. If it didn’t work, Connor had no backup plan, other than to deal with the shame for the rest of the break. (Would he have to send Nico home?) Travis’ wedding was happening, whether or not Connor brought a date. He hoped to not get into that situation in the first place.

                Beatrice was the only one in the kitchen. She was rifling through take-out menus. There was still no sign of Travis. _Okay. Where the hell is he hiding?_ Connor strode in.

“So, when’s Travis gonna show—”

                “Yaaaaah!” Travis shot out from behind the door and threw himself on Connor (who somehow managed to stay standing).

                “Travis, what the fuck!”

                “That’s a funny way of saying, ‘Hello, big brother, I missed you so much.’”

                “How long have you been waiting there?”

                Travis slid off Connor’s back. “A few minutes. You didn’t go down like I hoped. Did you gain weight?”

                “Nah, I’ve got rocks in my pockets.”

                They shared a laugh. Connor let Travis give him a bear hug. Though it kind of felt like Travis was trying to snap his spine, Connor didn’t want him to let go. He couldn’t believe his brother was getting married. It didn’t seem real. He’d probably be a dad one day. That was too freaky to think about.

                “Glad you could make it,” Travis said. “So, who’s your mysterious date?”

                The way he said it made it incredibly clear that Travis wasn’t actually expecting anyone. The gleeful look in his eye only further convinced Connor that his older brother had no faith in him whatsoever. Connor had half a mind to be pissed, but then again, he was going to enjoy Travis’ reaction.

                Connor gestured for Nico to come over. He lifted his arm so Nico could step underneath it. It still felt awkward, draping it across Nico’s shoulders, but to his credit, Nico remained relaxed.

                “You remember Nico di Angelo, right? He was in my orientation group.”

                Travis’ eyes widened. Then his jaw dropped. “Get the fuck out,” he said.

                “Geez, I thought you’d be happy for me,” Connor said, exaggerating a pout. “What’s the matter? Did you think I was lying about dating someone?”

                “N-no,” Travis said. He stared at Nico. “I never would’ve guessed. And I am happy for you,” he added. “I’m actually super relieved. I was scared that you were dating your professor or something and that’s why you never wanted to talk about it.”

                Nico hid his face behind his hand.

                “Wow,” Connor said. “As if I would ever touch one of my professors with a nine-foot pole.”

                “I thought you said Professor Madison was hot.”

                “For an older woman, yeah. That doesn’t mean I want to date her!”

                “Hmm.” Travis folded his arms. “Well, I’m surprised. Didn’t think you two had anything in common. I know how you two met, but how did you start dating?”

                _Damn, I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition._ He thought they would have more time before people started trotting out this question. They still hadn’t settled on a backstory.

                “We live down the hall from each other,” Nico said, swooping in. “We didn’t really talk much until this big fire drill. It was really cold and taking forever because a bunch of guys slept through the alarm, and there wasn’t anything else to do, so…”

                Connor remembered this fire drill. He’d been pulled out of bed at 2AM and forced to stand outside on the chilly night in only a t-shirt and pajama pants. If he was remembering things correctly, Nico hadn’t spoken to anyone. (Connor recalled a pair of undeniably adorable Jack Skellington pajama pants.)

                Inspired, he jumped in. “Yeah. I think I annoyed him at first,” he rubbed Nico’s head, “but he warmed up to me soon enough.”

                Travis still seemed stunned. Then he must’ve realized he was gaping at them and quickly readjusted. “That’s great. Good to have you, Nico.” He smiled.

                Connor studied his brother for a few seconds. There were no traces of skepticism or suspicion present. He was a little off kilter, but he appeared to believe them.

                “Thanks,” Nico said. “Good to be invited.”

                Beatrice turned from the take-out menu pile. “What do you boys feel like having for dinner? I’m not cooking anything tonight, but if you really want to…”

                “Chinese is fine, Mom,” Travis said. To Nico, he said, “Did Mom show you her herb garden yet?”

                Nico shook his head. He seemed taken off guard by the question. Beatrice laughed.

                “He doesn’t want to see that,” she said.

                “I’m fine with it,” Nico said. He looked up at Connor, as if for approval. Connor nodded. Nico added, “My mom has an herb garden too. Maybe you can give me some tips to pass on.”

                “If you’re sure. I’m not a very good gardener.”

                Once Nico and Beatrice had passed through the back door, Connor braced himself for what he knew was coming. Travis grabbed him by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. _He knows. He saw right through it. Fuck, fuck._

“Of all the people I expected you to bring home,” Travis said, “Nico di Angelo was the _last_ person on the list. Why didn’t you tell me?”

                “Well, to be honest, you’re being really judgy right now.”

                “It’s not that he’s a guy, if that’s what you’re thinking. I always thought you might be into dudes.”

                _Wait, what?_ “W-what makes you say that?”

                Travis blinked. “I don’t know. I’m your brother. It was just a feeling.”

                It wasn’t a satisfactory answer, but Connor would take it. He sighed with relief that this wasn’t the conversation he thought they were about to have. “Then what’s your problem with Nico?”

                “Oh come on, everyone knows he’s a freak. You thought so, too.”

                Connor did vaguely recall thinking Nico was creepy. “Things change.”

                “Still, I wish you’d told me. Were you being all secretive because you were scared Mom and I wouldn’t approve?”

                “That is exactly the reason. Mom doesn’t know him, but you do. I knew you’d flip your shit.” Connor swallowed. Why was lying to Travis so hard? He was already sweating. “Anyway, he’s my boyfriend and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call him a freak.”

                Travis let go of his shoulders. “Whoa, sorry. These days being a freak is a compliment.”

                “No it isn’t. Just don’t mess with him or anything. You know what he’s like. It was hard enough to convince him to come.”

                “Gotcha. I’ll make him feel welcome. And hey, the more at the wedding, the merrier.” Travis brightened. “I’ll have to introduce him to Katie. We should all go to dinner together tomorrow night. Like a double date. Is that cool?”

                “Uh… yeah.” _Nico’s going to kill me for agreeing to stuff without asking him, but this is what he signed up for._

“Sweet. Katie is super excited to meet your new honey.”

                “Jesus Christ, don’t call him that.”

                “Why not? I bet you do.”

                _Actually the contract has a clause against pet-names._ “Nico doesn’t like it. Besides, ‘honey’ as a noun sounds demeaning. He’s not my boytoy.”

                “Wow, that was not what I was suggesting. You’re the one who came to that conclusion.”

                The back door opened again. Beatrice was telling Nico something about her plants. Connor made a quick throat-cutting gesture at Travis. To Nico, he said, “What did you think?”

                Nico must have suspected the herb garden tour was just a ploy to get him out of the room, but he didn’t show it. “It’s pretty cool. Mint leaf?” He held out a leaf pinched between his fingers.

                Connor accepted it and put it in his mouth. As he chewed it, he thought about their itinerary for the next few days. They needed to buy Nico a suit, maybe some Christmas presents. _Nico deserves something for Christmas. It’ll be an extra thank you. Besides, I’ll look like a dick if I don’t get my boyfriend a present._

“Travis invited us to dinner tomorrow,” Connor said, putting his arm around Nico’s shoulders again. “How about it?”

                “Fine. I mean, great.”

                Travis met Connor’s eyes with an _Are you sure?_ kind of look. Connor brushed it off.

 

                They ordered Chinese for dinner and ate it in the living room. Travis said they should watch a movie, which ended up being _A Muppet Christmas Carol_. Nico had apparently never seen it before. (He had never seen _any_ Muppet movies for that matter.) It gave them an excuse not to talk.

                After Travis had left for the night and Beatrice retreated into her office, Nico and Connor settled in. Connor decided to be chivalrous and change in the bathroom. He could hear Nico shuffling around, opening drawers and unzipping his duffel bag for anything he’d forgotten.

                Connor couldn’t help sneaking a peek at Nico as he changed. He was expecting bruises or scars, some kind of damage, but the glimpse he got of Nico’s back was unmarked. Granted, Connor hadn’t seen the rest of him yet—and probably never would—but he guessed that whatever was keeping Nico from going home wasn’t physical abuse.

                It was a relief. What Nico had mentioned about his mom sounded positive. That left his grandfather. Even though Nico had shut Connor’s attempts to learn more, it didn’t stop Connor from imagining the skeletons lurking in the di Angelo family closet. He was glad he could cross at least one thing off the checklist.

                Nico replaced his black t-shirt with a grey one. (Connor had a hard time telling which clothes were for sleep and which were for everyday wear. They all looked the same to him). He paused to pick up the long throw pillow from the floor before getting into bed. He put the pillow in between him and Connor.

                “Cross the line and I’ll kill you,” Nico said. “Got it?”

                “Don’t worry about it. I don’t roll around a lot in my sleep.”

                Nico yawned. “Good night.” He rolled over and went still. After a few seconds, Connor heard his breathing slow. _Man, he falls asleep fast._

                Connor rolled the other way. He didn’t know how he was supposed to sleep. The first day had gone well. Could he really keep this up for the rest of the month? Connor closed his eyes. A familiar room with familiar furniture. If Nico wasn’t lying about a foot away, he might have been able to relax. It took another half hour before he finally drifted off.

 

                The next day passed all too quickly. There wasn’t much to do except wait for dinner to roll around. They were supposed to meet Katie and Travis at a local restaurant for 6:30. Connor had never felt so stressed about going to dinner with his brother and his girlfriend before. Fooling Katie meant they were a lock. But she had sharp eyes.

                Nico seemed concerned about how he looked all of a sudden. Connor caught him standing in front of the hall mirror multiple times, giving himself a once over. He combed his fingers through his dark hair a few times and frowned.

                “What’s Katie like?” he asked.

                “She’s a rule follower. I think she’s a botanist or something.”

                “And she’s marrying your brother?”

                “Opposites attract.”

                Nico snorted. He played with his hair some more. Connor didn’t know what he hoped to do with it. Nico’s feathery hair played by its own rules. Nothing short of glue would hold it in a neat position. Connor wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

                “You look fine,” Connor said.

                “I don’t want to meet your brother’s girlfriend looking like a drug addict.”

                “You’re fine,” Connor repeated. He was actually pleasantly surprised by the initiative Nico had taken to clean himself up. Nico had produced a grey sweater and white collared shirt that wasn’t as gloomy as the rest of his wardrobe. It was probably the best thing he owned. His black jeans were stain-free too.

                Nico frowned at his reflection again and stepped back. He didn’t seem satisfied, but it was time to go. Connor reminded his mom that they were leaving and grabbed his keys from the ring by the door. It had been a while since he’d talked to Katie face-to-face. Travis had probably already told her that Nico and Connor were “dating.”

                “Katie might be a little shocked when we show up,” Connor said on the drive over. “I’ve only dated girls before. Well, _a_ girl.”

                “She doesn’t know anything about me, does she?”

                “Nope. Travis might’ve mentioned you in passing once, but I doubt it. We’ll just stick to the plan, act like we’re into each other, and hope they buy it. Travis already believes us. Katie is probably the harder sell.”

                Nico said nothing to this. He gazed out the window until they pulled into the parking lot.

                “Now,” Connor said, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Remember the rules of improv: always say yes. Don’t block your fellow actor. If one of us does or says something, just go with it. Got that?”

                “You better not embarrass us in there,” Nico grumbled. “I draw the line at being mushy. Don’t feed me off your fork or anything.”

                “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

                Katie and Travis were waiting outside. Katie gave Connor a hug. Nico visibly stiffened when she turned to him, but all she did was shake his hand.

                “You must be Nico,” she said. “I’m Katie. It’s so good to finally meet you.”

                Nico managed a smile. Connor put a steadying hand on his back. “He’s shy,” he explained. “He’ll warm up in a bit.”

                Katie waited until they’d actually sat down before trotting out the usual questions: how they met, how they started dating, Nico’s major, what their plans for the rest of the break were, etc. Connor wasn’t sure how to answer that one.

                “So far we were just planning to hang around here.”

                “Are you going to visit Nico’s family at all?”

                “No,” Nico said quickly. “They don’t, uh, know about me and Connor. We were going to wait.”

                “Oh, sorry I mentioned it,” Katie said, a blush creeping into her cheeks. “I guess it’s different for everyone.” She took it as a sign to change the subject. “How were exams?”

                This was more comfortable territory for both of them. A few easy minutes passed while they talked about old professors and studying. Nico did actually warm up as the conversation went on. He avoided talking about embalming, though he did jump in with a few gripes about all-nighters.

                “You shouldn’t stay up all night,” Katie said, genuinely concerned. “You don’t do your best work when you’re tired. It’s not healthy.”

                “Nico’s a caffeine addict,” Connor said. “It’s why he’s fun-sized.”

                Nico kicked Connor’s ankle. Connor disguised a wince as a smirk.

                “I get enough sleep,” Nico said, as if the deep bags under his eyes were just genetics.

                “You almost slept through our first date,” Connor muttered.

                Nico glared at him. Travis snickered on the other side of the table. Connor thought he saw Katie elbow him in the ribs. It didn’t stop Travis from saying, “God, what was _that_ like?”

                “Travis,” Katie hissed.

                “He took me for coffee.” Nico chewed on his straw. “I almost didn’t say yes to a second date when I heard his order. He has horrible taste.”

                “Well, you’re a plain Jane,” Connor shot back.

                Travis laughed harder.

                Katie tried to save the conversation. “I’m sure Connor must’ve really worked his charm, then.”

                “Oh, I did.” Connor spotted their server heading towards them with their orders. They would be safe for a little while longer. “Even this little edgelord couldn’t resist.”

                Calling Nico “edgelord” resulted in another kick under the table. Connor pretended not to notice. He was actually having fun, in spite of himself. Nico must’ve been in a better mood, because he offered to share his fries.

                “True love,” Connor joked, taking one from the plate.

                Nico scoffed. It was sort of endearing. Connor almost believed that they really had been dating for a long time. In a sense, he had to believe it. It would improve the performance.

                Katie talked a bit about the wedding. She didn’t go into much detail—some of it had to be a surprise, apparently—but she did mention flower choices and where they were having the cake done. Bizarre. Connor never thought he’d be listening to wedding plans at this point in his life. Meanwhile, Travis was jumping in with his own details, totally adjusted to the whole thing.

                “Katie was really specific about the flowers. Her bouquet has to _mean_ something,” he said. “She went through flower language sites to find what worked best.”

                “The meaning has to work but then the colors have to match.” Katie shook her head. “Just because we’re having a small ceremony, that doesn’t mean it has to be boring. I want it to be interesting. Pretty.”

                “It’s going to be great. We’re flying by the seat of our pants, but it’s going to be great.” Travis grinned. “Are you guys ready to go? Got your suits picked out?”

                “Actually,” Connor said, “we need to buy Nico one. We’ll probably do that tomorrow?”

                Nico nodded. “And I need a tie.”

                “Well, don’t stay out too long,” Katie advised. “It’s supposed to sleet tomorrow afternoon.”

                “If you guys don’t mind, can I tag along?” Travis asked. “I’ve got a few errands to run, too.”

                Connor hesitated. He met Nico’s eyes. It would mean more acting. They wouldn’t have a chance to rest. _He’s going to spy on us. He’s still suspicious._ Nico nodded slightly.

                “We don’t mind,” Connor said.

                Travis grinned back as he took a sip of his Coke.

               

                “What did you think?” Connor asked on the drive home.

                “Honestly, it went better than I expected,” Nico admitted. “Katie was nice. I don’t think she doubted us for a second.”

                Connor pumped his fist. “We had the element of surprise on our side. The next few weeks are gonna be smooth sailing.”

                “Don’t jinx it. Someone might figure us out.”

                “That just means we have to stay vigilant. Maybe we should practice being more touchy-feely.  You were great, by the way,” Connor added. “You weren’t all antsy about putting my hands on you.”

                “I tried not to think about it.”

                They stopped at a red light. Connor imagined what Katie and Travis might be doing right now. He hoped they were agreeing that, no, Connor was not depressed and was doing just fine with his new boyfriend. The light dragged on. This intersection was famous for its slow signal changes.

                A touch landed on his knee. Nico. “Stop,” he said.

                Connor hadn’t noticed he was jogging his leg. He stopped. He looked down at Nico’s hand, barely in contact with the denim of his jeans.

                “You were shaking the whole car,” Nico explained, withdrawing his hand.

                “Oops. Sorry.”

                “You’re so impatient.”

                “And you’re not?” Connor said, remembering their conversation in the laundry room. “I can’t help it. I don’t even know when I do it. Don’t you do little things like that?”

                After a long pause, Nico answered. “I guess. My mom says I bite my nails too much.”

                “Really? Let me see.” Connor flicked on the inside light. Nico’s nails were short and a little ragged. Some of them seemed almost painfully gnawed down. “Yikes. You should tape ‘em. Or, I know, we can paint them.”

                “Have you ever painted your nails before?”

                “No, but how hard can it be? Third graders do it.”

                “Whatever. It won’t work.”

                The light turned green. Connor quickly hit the ceiling switch again and pressed down on the gas. _We’re going shopping tomorrow. That’ll be super couple-y. If Travis isn’t already convinced—though I think he’s pretty much on board—he will be then._


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god guys i'm so sorry for the long wait! i feel like i've been working on this chapter forever and i'm still not totally satisfied with it so pls forgive me.

               Somehow it was weirder to wake up next to Nico the second day than it was the first. The pillow was still between them and neither had strayed from their side, but Connor could look over it to where Nico’s hair peeked out from underneath the covers. He pushed himself up on to one elbow and leaned over. From what he could tell, Nico had curled himself into a ball.

“Are you awake?” Connor asked.

                The lump under the covers stirred. They retreated slightly, revealing Nico’s forehead and eyes. “I wish I wasn’t,” he said. His voice was muffled by the blanket. “I don’t really want to see your face first thing in the morning.”

                “You don’t need to be rude.”

                Footsteps thumped in the hallway outside. Connor went on the alert. Those could only be Travis’ footsteps. (Their mother was sneakier about coming to ambush them in their beds). Nico seemed to sense Connor’s reaction and grabbed the barrier pillow, then flung it aside. Connor fell back to the mattress and closed his eyes.

                Travis, true to form, burst in without knocking. “Hey, hey, hey! It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood!”

                Connor groaned (for real). “What are you doing here?”

                “We have to get an early start if we want to be back home before the sleet hits. I told you I was coming to get you.”

                Connor vaguely remembered Travis saying something like that. He opened one eye and said, “Fine, but could you _please_ learn to knock?”

                “Why? Was I interrupting something?” Travis wiggled his eyebrows.

                Nico responded with an emphatic, “No.”

                “You interrupted my REM cycle,” Connor allowed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get another one. Get up and get dressed.”

                After he had gone, Nico said, “He’s even more annoying than you are.”

                “Thanks?”

They managed to get out of bed without further complaints. Connor took a short shower and got changed in the bathroom. When he emerged, Nico was ready to go in all black. He was wearing the same hoodie he’d been wearing in the laundry room.

                “You don’t want the shower?” Connor offered.

                “No. Apparently there’s no time.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t get why he came along. He could do his errands on his own.”

                “He’s doing surveillance. Just put up with it.”

                “I thought you said he bought the act.”

                Connor sighed. “You never know with Travis. He won’t breathe down our necks the whole day.”

                Nico groaned through his teeth.

 

                Travis tagged along in their car, “because why take two cars for three people?” He had the decency not to call shotgun, but Connor felt weird with him sitting in the back. He could see Travis watching him through the rearview mirror.

                “So we’re buying Neeks a suit?” Travis asked, leaning in between their seats. “I’m surprised you don’t have one. It seems like it’d be your style.”

                Nico mouthed “Neeks” with a grimace. Connor stifled a laugh.

                “What do you need to buy, bro?” Connor asked.

                “An ugly Christmas sweater.”

                Connor honestly couldn’t tell if Travis was joking or not. _Whether he is or not, he’s here to gather more information on our relationship._ He just smiled in response and let it slide.

                The mall parking lot was full to the brim. It took a few minutes of driving around to find an empty spot. Nico’s frown deepened. He obviously wasn’t looking forward to mingling with Christmas shoppers. (Connor was trying to think of how he’d find enough time to himself to get Travis and Nico gifts while they were here, and how to conceal them.)

                “This isn’t going to take long, is it?” Nico asked.

                “That depends on how picky _you_ are,” Connor said.

                “I just want something simple. We don’t have to make a big deal out of it.”

                “Hey, as long as you don’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt, I’ll be happy,” Travis said. He patted Nico on the shoulder—not noticing the slight flinch as he did so. He climbed out of the car.

                Connor hesitated. “If we have to ditch him, we will. For now, just follow my lead like we’ve been doing.”

                “You really don’t trust your brother.”

                “Of course I don’t,” Connor admitted, unbuckling. “He’s my brother.”

 

                Travis walked a step behind them as they wound their way through the men’s section. He stayed far enough away that it looked like he wasn’t with them, but every so often he’d say something to Connor and he’d be reminded that they were, in fact, related.

                “What color are you thinking of?” Travis asked from two aisles away. “Black, charcoal, or midnight?”

                Connor grinned. Nico didn’t appreciate the humor of it, not even when Connor gave him a friendly elbow nudge. He continued staring the row of jackets hanging along the wall with his brow furrowed in deep thought. Connor suspected that if Nico had a choice, he’d feign a stomach bug to avoid dressing up for the wedding.

                “You’d look good in blue,” Connor offered. “Like a navy.”

                “No…” Nico shook his head.

                “You would. You should try on one of the jackets.”

                “I will.” Nico lifted a sleeve from one of the hangers. He rubbed the material between his fingers. “Nothing really fits me right.”

                “That’s ‘cause you’re a shorty.”

                Connor wasn’t prepared for the vicious finger jab that followed. He managed to keep himself from doubling over. He hoped Travis hadn’t seen.

                “Try one on,” he said, grabbing one from the rack. “We can roll the legs up.”

                “Ugh.” Nico accepted it grudgingly. Then he took a similar black suit as well. _I guess I can’t lure him away from his favorite color._

                Connor watched him retreat into the changing rooms. He heard Travis approaching behind him. He didn’t flinch when Travis slung his arm around Connor.

                “So,” he said, “how serious is it?”

                “Pretty serious.”

                “You seem happy together.”

                Connor moved away. “Why are you doing this?”

                “Doing what?” Travis gave him a wide-eyed innocent look that was nowhere near convincing.

                “I’m going to check on him,” Connor said, following Nico into the changing rooms. Sometimes he hated Travis, if only for a few seconds. It was never over big things, like sharing toys or getting blamed for breaking something. Just little moments. What made it worse was knowing that Travis didn’t hate him—couldn’t in fact.

                Connor’s head felt clearer out of Travis’s line of sight. He was aware that he’d just acted really suspicious. The changing area was quiet. Connor thought he heard the rustle of fabric.

                “Nico?” he called softly.

                “I’m in here.”

                Connor bent slightly to peer under the stall door. He spotted a puddle of black clothes and a pair of sock feet. “How’s it going?”

                Nico answered with a sigh. A second later, the door swung open. He was wearing the dark blue suit. It looked alright, but there were definitely problem areas. The jacket was a little big on him. He could’ve retreated inside it and hid like a turtle in its shell.

                “I told you,” Nico said.

                “It’s not so bad,” Connor said. “I was right about the color.”

                “Yeah, but there’s no time to get it tailored.”

                Connor took the jacket in both hands and tugged it inward so that it fit snugly against Nico’s back. Nico wasn’t expecting it and stumbled forward a step. He looked up at Connor with an odd expression.

                “Maybe,” Connor mused, “we could get your clothes from the kid’s section.”

                Nico shoved Connor’s hands off. “Get out. I don’t need your help.”

                “I’m not making fun of you. I’m legit trying to come up with a solution.”

                “Well, I didn’t ask for it.” Nico went back into the stall and slammed the door.

                _Good. He’s mad at me now._ This wasn’t going to look good. Connor left the changing room. He spotted Travis pretending to choose a shirt. Travis glanced over his shoulder.

                “How is everything?” he asked.

                “Dandy.”

 

                Eventually, Nico bought a suit (black) and a new shirt (red) and a tie (also black). Travis said it was totally cool for him to wear sneakers as long as they were clean. He was visibly relieved to hear it. He also had decided not to talk to Connor.

                Connor was trying not to be irritated, but he didn’t think this was fair. He had no idea how close he was to actually offending Nico. His moods ran so hot and cold that it was impossible to say the right thing a hundred percent of the time. It was like navigating a minefield. At night. In lead boots.

                Travis noticed. Of course he did. The atmosphere was so chilly between them that it would’ve been impossible for him not to. On the way back to the car, he tried to break the tension by saying, “Do you guys want to hit up the drugstore? There’s some stuff I need.”

                “Okay,” Connor said. He turned to Nico.

                Nico said nothing. He was on his phone.

               “Do you need anything Nico? Toothpaste? Hair products? Drugs?”

               “Sure, whatever.”

_God damn it. What did I do wrong?_

               Travis leaned over while they were getting in the car and whispered, “Trouble in paradise?”

               “There’s always trouble.”

               Travis raised an eyebrow. “I guess that’s par for the course with Nico. You don’t fight all the time, do you? Yesterday you seemed fine.”

              “Not all the time. We’ll make up later.” Connor said this part a little louder, for Nico’s benefit. “We always do.”

               Nico, again, refused to look at him.

               Travis provided most of the conversation on the way to the drugstore. He chattered a bit on the Christmas party Beatrice wanted to throw. They usually didn’t do much for the holidays, but this year their mom wanted to celebrate a little harder, given that one of her sons was getting married. He mentioned a few things about the wedding and they pretty much went in one ear and out the other. Connor was busy figuring out how to secretly signal Nico to cut this shit out.

               It was only when they were pulling into a new parking lot and Nico reached over to adjust a fan on the dash that Connor knew what he had to do. Nico’s super short nails called out to him like a beacon. Connor got so excited that he grabbed Nico’s wrist.

               “Babe,” he said, forgetting the “no pet names” rule for a second, “remember how I said I’d paint your nails?”

                Nico glared daggers at him out of the corner of his eye. “You’re not serious.”

               “I am. You bite your nails too much and it worries me. One day you’re going to make yourself bleed.”

               “The drugstore probably has a bunch of polish,” Travis added. “I’ll bet they’ve got some in black.”

                Nico opened his mouth—probably to tell both of them to put a sock in it—but Connor had already parked and was unbuckling his seatbelt. He was going to salvage this. “Come on,” he said. “If you don’t do it, I get to pick the color.”

                He wasn’t sure the threat would work at first, but Nico was the second one out of the car, dashing to catch up with Connor’s long-legged stride. Travis lagged a couple seconds behind them.

                In a furious hiss, Nico said, “I thought we agreed not to use pet names.”

                “Sorry. It just slipped out. Made it more authentic in my opinion.”

                “You better not do it again.”

                Connor went straight for the make-up section of the store. All the make-up was arranged by brand and each one had their own nail polish section. He gravitated toward the one that had the most color options.

Connor scanned the shelf of nail polish. There were so many colors he didn’t know where to start. Some looked like they had actual glitter in them. He doubted Nico would want one of those. Most of them had fun names, like the kind you found on paint swatches. (“Dolla Bills,” “Taxi Cab,” “Good as Gold,” etc, etc.)

                “Black,” Nico said.

                “Are you sure you don’t want to step out of your color comfort zone?”

                “Yes. Plain black.”

                “Aw, this metallic kind of black looks nice. Or we could go with a nice dark blue.” He plucked one from the shelf. A new bottle immediately slid into place behind it.

                “You can use that for yourself. I just want black. We’re not doing this to look pretty.”

                Connor smiled up at him. “I think we can kill two birds with one stone.”

                Nico grabbed a plain black bottle and dropped it into the basket. “I’d rather not attract too much attention. Thanks.”

                Connor chose not to argue and put the blue polish in the basket for himself. _Solidarity,_ he thought. He would probably get jealous if Nico was the only one with colored nails.

                Nico had drifted over to where they kept the remover. “What’s the difference between non-acetone and acetone?”

                “How should I know?” Connor stood up and leaned over Nico’s shoulder. “Get non. Acetone sounds like a bad thing to me.”

                “Then why would they make nail polisher remover with acetone _in_ it?”

                “They make all sorts of stuff with poisonous shit in it.”

                Once they had their nail polish and remover, Connor realized that he didn’t know where Travis had run off to. Nico said something about getting some shampoo and wandered away toward the haircare section of the store. Connor let him go; he was more concerned was what Travis was up to. (Connor did not trust his brother. That was just how things were.)

                Connor found him studying a whole shelf of condoms with a look of intense interest. He fought the urge to laugh out loud. He’d never seen someone stare at sexual protection with that amount of seriousness before. He walked over.

“What are you doing?” Connor said. He grinned and elbowed Travis. “Stocking up for your honeymoon?”

                “Nah, this is for you.”

                _Real life needs more record scratch sound effects_. “What? Dude, gross.”

                “I wouldn’t have to do this if you weren’t so embarrassed about it. Do you still like this brand?”

                Connor sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Katie was right. We’re too close. Put it back.”

                “I am being a good older brother and looking out for your safety,” Travis said, shaking the box at Connor. “And, by extension, Nico’s.”

                Connor swatted the box out of his face. “We aren’t—! I mean, we’re not there yet. You don’t need to worry about it.”

                “Yeah, but that might change. Unless Nico’s saving himself for marriage or something. He’s Catholic, right?”

                “Probably. I don’t know. We never talked about it.” _And Nico would kill me for asking._

                “You’ve been dating him for how long?”

                Connor bit his lip. “Look, he’s different. He’s got damage.”

                “Oh.” Travis sobered. “Like… how bad are we talking?”

                “He doesn’t like to talk about it. He won’t tell me anything specific. I don’t think it has to do with sex specifically. It’s more of an emotional thing.”

                Travis thought about it for a moment. “Still. I’m getting these for you in case you _do_ talk about it and you two end up—”

                “Trav!”

                “Quit being a baby. I’m not saying you have to sleep with him. I’m just suggesting you might.” Travis smiled. “If and when you do, you’re going to need these. Let me tell you, it’s more embarrassing not being prepared.”

                Connor’s face turned red. He groaned. Travis chuckled and tossed the box into his basket. Connor wondered how long he’d go to jail for murdering his brother in the middle of Walgreen’s.

                “Give me that,” Connor said. He snatched the basket. “I’ll do it myself.”

                Travis smacked his forehead. “Shit, I almost forgot. Lube.”

                “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

                Connor was making a desperate grab for the box in Travis’ hand when Nico appeared at the end of the aisle. Travis chose that moment to let go, letting it fall into the basket.

                “Quit messing around. You’re acting like children,” Nico said.

                “One of us is,” Travis muttered.

                Connor rolled his eyes. He quickly shifted things around in the basket to hide them. He couldn’t put them back without alerting Nico’s attention. It looked like he was going to be forced to take them to the register after all.

                “You are paying for these,” Connor hissed.

                “Don’t worry. It’s on me.”

                Connor didn’t like the smug smile on Travis’ face.

                “Are you done?” Nico asked.

                “Yes,” Connor said. He pushed past his brother. He was starting to regret bringing a date at all. If he’d have known Travis was going to be like this, he would have come clean. _He’s got me pinned. Maybe he knows._

               

                Travis requested to be dropped off at home first. Connor was, for once, glad to be rid of him. Before he left, Travis whispered, “Good luck with your boyfriend. Hopefully he’ll open up more.”

                Connor thought of the box of condoms (carefully relegated to a separate bag) and cringed. At least Nico hadn’t seen Travis buy them. Connor would rather Nico remain blissfully ignorant about that for the rest of the break. However, it had given him a few things to think about.

                People would probably assume their relationship was sexual; Connor wasn’t going to argue against those assumptions but he wondered if Nico would be comfortable with that. He made a note to bring it up delicately at a later date.

                Nico stared out the window as they drove home. It wasn’t dark yet, but the sky was overcast, making everything seem gloomier. Connor remembered Katie’s comment on the weather. He hoped it would just rain. He really wanted to get home.

                Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when he heard something distinctly solid strike the roof. It was followed by a few more, then by a torrent. There was suddenly a ton of icy slush on the windshield. Connor turned on the wipers, but it didn’t do much good. As soon as they cleared the glass it got covered again.

                Nico sat bolt upright as though he’d be shot. “Pull over.”

                “I can still see.” The downpour was getting more intense. There was a white curtain of sleet on the other side of the window.

                “Pull over,” Nico insisted. He didn’t yell, but the tension in his voice was clear.

                Connor did as he asked. He got them onto the shoulder as quickly as he could without doing something stupid and rolling the car. They were still in a residential area, trees on one side and houses on the other. Gravel crunched under the tires.

Connor put the car in park. Sleet continued to hammer against the roof. It cast weird shadows on Nico’s face. He unbuckled his seatbelt and twisted around to look out the back windshield. He faced the front again, then let his head fall against the headrest.

                “We’re stuck.”

                “It’ll let up in a bit.”

                Nico levelled a hard stare at him. “I was looking forward to going home.”

                “I know. Look on the bright side: we don’t have to act like a couple in here.”

                The weather was so intense that Connor couldn’t even tell if cars were passing them. He thought he saw a blink of headlights, but couldn’t be sure. The radio signal had turned to static. Connor tried switching stations. The most he got was a tinny “Jingle Bell Rock.”

                “How long do you think it will be before this clears up?” he asked.

                “Who knows,” Nico said.

                Connor followed Nico’s example and unbuckled himself. He got comfortable. His mind wandered to thoughts of hailstones the size of golf balls, an episode of _The X-Files_ about a man who could control the weather, videos of cars getting swept away in three inches of water…

                “That was a good call,” he said, “telling me to pull over.”

                Nico made a non-committal noise.

                “We’re going to be here a while. Might as well talk.”

                Nico continued to say nothing, opting to hunch over in his seat instead.

                “I’ve been meaning to ask; has your mom or grandpa called? Did your grandpa have anything to say about you skipping Christmas?”

                “He didn’t take it well.”

                “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to give your family grief.”

                “We’ve got enough as it is. It’s not your fault. I’d rather be stuck in this car with you for however long than at home for the holidays.” It came out bitter and exhausted.

                Connor turned towards him. “Why? You can’t say things like that and not expect me to get curious.”

                Nico got quiet again, but Connor could tell he was thinking. He stared out the windshield. Then, without looking at Connor said, “My sister died around this time of year.”

                Even with the sleet piling up outside, the inside of the car felt oddly muffled. Connor sagged back into his seat. _My sister died around this time of year._ He rolled the words around in his head. A cold feeling spread through his chest.

                “Was she sick?” Connor asked eventually, his voice hushed.

                “No. It was a car accident. We were on our way back from getting Christmas presents when this guy slammed into the side of our car. He was in a big truck and he hit the driver’s side. Bianca died pretty much instantly.”

                “Oh my God.”

                “I got lucky. Whiplash and a few fractures, but I lived.”

                “When did it happen?”

                Nico took a deep breath. “My freshman year.”

                It explained so much. No wonder Nico had changed. He was probably dealing with massive survivor’s guilt. Connor wanted to give him a hug, or at least pat his shoulder, but he was paralyzed. His hands were stuck to the wheel.

                “I’m sorry,” he said, hating himself for how weak it sounded. “I never thought… I guess the holiday season isn’t exactly jolly at your place.”

                “Understatement of the fucking year. With just me and my mom, we’re sad, but we get by.” Nico took a deep breath. “It’s my grandfather who’s the problem. He’s been mad at my mom ever since she married my dad. Not to mention I’m the family disappointment. Apparently I’m turning out just like _him._ ”

                “Shit.” Connor’s parents were divorced, but there had been nowhere near this level of drama. He didn’t remember any of his family members on Beatrice’s side criticizing him or Travis for taking after their dad.

                Nico lowered his head. “It’s too much to deal with. Things are better if I’m not there.”

                Connor watched the ice slide down the windshield. He didn’t know how to make this better. This was outside his area of expertise. Eventually, he said, “You know, as sad as it is that you can’t spend Christmas with your mom, I’m glad you’re here with me. I’ve been having a lot of fun so far.”

                Nico didn’t say anything.

                Connor continued. (He was on this train now; he couldn’t stop.) “Maybe I’m biased, because you’re my fake boyfriend and all, but I think you’re neat.” _Neat? What the fuck?_ “And you don’t deserve to get treated badly for stuff that isn’t your fault. I can’t imagine what it was like to lose your sister. Your grandpa should think about that.”

                “He’s right, though,” Nico whispered. “Bianca should’ve been the one to live. I haven’t done anything worth being proud of.”

                “Oh, fuck that!” Connor startled himself with the sudden surge of anger. He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “Don’t talk like that. You’re a good person. I’m glad you’re alive and I think your sister would be, too. That’s just a guess; I didn’t know her.”

                “You don’t know _me_ that well.”

                “I’m getting to. I like it so far.”

                Nico fell silent. Then, Connor heard him sniff. He turned to see Nico wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Don’t look at me,” Nico said.

                Connor turned back to the windshield. He waited for the sniffling to die down. When he glanced at Nico again, he noticed he hadn’t cried much. Nico rummaged through the glove compartment for tissues.

                “Are you okay?” Connor asked.

                Nico took a shaky breath. “I’ll be alright. Can we talk about something else?”

                “Sure. Whatever you need.” He wanted to give Nico a hug, but was afraid that would be too forward. Nico needed a hug. Connor wondered what it would be like to hold him, to steady him for a bit and remind him he wasn’t alone.

                A couple more cars passed before Connor started the conversation again.

                “You know, we’ve got nail polish and some time to kill. How about it?” He found the plastic bag and took out the bottles. “Then when we can get home we can show them off.”

 “If you do mine, I’m doing yours too.”

                “Fine,” Connor said. He had no problem getting his nails painted. He started to unscrew the top of the bottle.

                “You have to shake it first.”

                “Oh.” There weren’t any instructions on the bottle. “ _Have_ you done this before?”

                “I had a sister, idiot. Does your mom not paint her nails?”

                “Well, I never watched her do it,” Connor admitted. He shook the bottle in what he hoped was the correct fashion. Then he twisted the top off. The little brush seemed to come out with a _lot_ polish on it.

                Nico held out his hand. Connor steadied it with his own, balancing the little bottle on the center console. He tried to be careful, but the polish was runnier than he’d expected and it pooled around the edges of Nico’s nail. Connor did the best he could. It didn’t look right, though maybe he’d do better with Nico’s left hand.

                “This is hard,” Connor admitted as he painted broad strokes across Nico’s thumbnail.

                “I told you. I guess there’s nothing we can do about it.”

                “Girls must have steadier hands. Miranda used to do hers by herself.”

                “About Miranda… Travis and your mom said you dated for a long time, but you hardly ever talk about her. Is she still around?”

                “Actually she moved.”

                “Do you miss her?”

                “Not really. It wasn’t that kind of relationship.”

                Nico blew on his nails. Connor could already tell he’d made a complete mess. From a distance, it probably wouldn’t look too bad. At least they hadn’t spilled any in the car.

                “What kind of relationship was it?” Nico asked. “Were you pretending to date her, too?”

                Connor smiled dryly. “No. She was my actual girlfriend. Not that it made much of a difference. Things got weird with us near the end. That’s why we broke up.”

                “Define weird. Weirder than asking some random guy to be your fake boyfriend?”

                “Okay, well, we went out for years and barely kissed and the one time we had sex, we never did it again. It wasn’t bad or anything. I guess it just didn’t seem right.”

                Nico suddenly concentrated on flapping his hands to dry them. “Uh-huh,” he said tightly.

                “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

                “Who says I’m uncomfortable? It’s not really my business to judge… natural biologic processes between two adults.”

                Connor thought of the condoms again, burning a hole in the backseat. He hated Travis so much right now. “I’m just gonna ask,” he said, hoping that would soften the blow, “but what’re your actual opinions on sex and stuff? Your family’s Catholic.”

                “I’ve never done it so I wouldn’t know,” Nico admitted. “As for what other people do, like I said, it’s not my business.”

                “Yeah, I get that, but do you, like, _feel_ attraction to other people…”

                “Why are you asking?”

                “Because Travis was asking.”

                “Oh God.” Nico shuddered. “What did you tell him?”

                Connor decided to keep the specifics to himself. “I said we weren’t there yet. I don’t know if he’ll be that nosy again, but I’d like to know anyway.”

                “Next time just tell him it’s none of his business.”

                “That’s not how things work with me and Trav,” he said, shaking his heads. “We don’t keep secrets.”

                “Yeah, except this one,” Nico said, gesturing vaguely around the car.

                Connor fell silent. Nico was turning out to be good at casually striking nerves. Hail pattered on the roof. Connor wondered if it would ever let up, if he would ever actually see his brother’s wedding, if he and Nico were going to starve to death in this car.

                Nico heaved a sigh. “To answer your question, yes. I do feel attraction to people. Men. Are you happy?”

                “Yes. I don’t want to start making sweeping claims about your sexuality. I got lucky the first time.”

                Nico nodded at the plastic bag. “Let me do yours. And this time, _you_ can talk, since you like it so much.”

                “What should I talk about?” Connor said, passing Nico the blue polish.

                “Whatever you want.” He shook the bottle by hitting against his palm. Connor wondered if Nico was working out any violent feelings he had toward him. He was a little afraid to put his hands out now. “What are _your_ deep, dark secrets, huh?”

                “I don’t have any.”

                Nico shot him a skeptical look. He bent over Connor’s hand, his hair falling in front of his face. Connor did his best not to let his fingers shake.

                “You pretend like you’re an open book,” Nico said, “but you wouldn’t be such a liar if you didn’t have anything you were trying to keep hidden. You do it like it’s easy. And you’re an actor.”

                “Are you psychoanalyzing me?”

                “No. I’m just telling you what I see.”

                Connor watched Nico paint his nails. It was getting dark in the car, so he reached up to switch on the light. It sounded like the sleet was letting up. He didn’t mind waiting a little while longer. It wasn’t so bad, getting stuck with Nico. They had never talked this honestly before.

                “What do you think?” Nico asked. His work was much neater than Connor’s.

                “You did good. You could probably do your own better than I could.”

                “It’s weird, but it actually looks nice on you.”

                Connor blew on his nails. “Thanks. Maybe guys _should_ wear nail polish more often. My hands seem… prettier.”

                “You have good-looking hands.”

                “Okay,” Connor laughed.

                Nico blushed. “It’s not that weird of a compliment.”

                “I’ve just never heard that one before. Here, I’ll give you a compliment: your ears are cute.”

                “Alright, now _that’s_ weird.” Nico covered his ears. “How can ears be cute?”

                “I don’t know. They just are.”

                Connor almost regretted it when the weather cleared.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha wow i'm so sorry. i've been working on this and original projects and fanfic wips and i was in china for a month and even though it's summer i work all the time T^T i hope you're all still here and will continue showing me such kind patience. <3 remember that every time you comment it helps me write!

               The rest of the drive home was safe. Connor let Travis know that they’d made it back. He decided not to tell him they’d been stuck. He could picture Travis’s response.

                _ooOOooh did u make out ;)???_ Or something along those lines.

                His mom was relieved to know he hadn’t driven them into a ditch. In exchange for the grey hairs he’d just given her, Connor was drafted to cook and do dishes. Nico volunteered to help with the first part. Connor supposed he couldn’t have everything.

                Since he’d put the polish on, Connor had grown more conscious of his hands. He’d started thinking about doing things—easy stuff, like picking up silverware or opening drawers. He had never considered them in much depth before. Nico’s compliment replayed itself in his head a couple times while they were helping Beatrice with dinner.

                “What prompted this?” Beatrice had asked when they’d returned home, studying Connor’s fingernails.

                “We were stuck and bored.”

                “It’s a nice look for you,” she’d said with a laugh. “A little messy though.”

                Connor had caught Nico’s eye and smiled. Nico had smiled back. It had felt really good.

                Later, when he had to stash the _other_ shopping bag, he felt less good. It was just another reminder that this wouldn’t last forever, that it wasn’t real to begin with. It was a shame, considering his mom was really warming up to Nico. She’d got him to talk while they were cooking and he’d been halfway charming. Now he had this stupid stuff he wouldn’t use—his well-meaning older brother’s stock in the relationship, as it were.

                There was that plus the fact that Annabeth had texted him an hour ago to say she and Percy were in town and they wanted to meet up. As soon as he read it, Connor realized he’d forgotten to tell her Nico was his fake date. Shit. Annabeth was one of those morally upright people who didn’t approve of large scale deception. (Not even when it was totally necessary.) She was going to flip.

                He considered texting her back about it, but he was worried Percy might see her phone. The less people that knew about the scheme, the better. This was why he should’ve picked a stranger.

                “Annabeth and Percy are going to be in town tomorrow,” he said while they were getting ready for bed.

                Nico’s head snapped up. (He’d been resetting the barrier pillow.) He looked like a deer in the headlights. No, not a deer. More like a possum—those were nocturnal.

                “Tomorrow?” he echoed.

                “The wedding’s pretty soon, so they’re in town tonight.”

                “She knows that we’re lying, right?”

                “Yeah. She’s not going to take it well.”

                “Then… we just have to be extra convincing.” He set his jaw and nodded. “I’ll be convincing.”

                “And I’ll beg Annabeth not to squeal to Percy,” Connor said.

                Nico looked like he wanted to say something more, but just climbed into bed and pulled the covers over himself. Connor got in on the other side. He was, once again, regretting the lack of practice they’d had in acting like a real couple. Getting Nico mad at him like today wouldn’t fly with Annabeth, who knew the truth.  

                Connor rolled over once or twice. He couldn’t get comfortable. This room and this bed used to be his, but his mom had erased him from the walls and replaced the mattress. His familiar posters were long gone. She’d even repainted the walls. Connor hadn’t been upset, since he’d basically given her permission to push him from the nest, but now he was feeling the loss.

                After what must have been fifteen minutes, he announced, “I can’t sleep.”

                “Me neither,” Nico said, startling him. If Nico couldn’t sleep, then something must have been seriously off. There was a creak as Nico shifted. He lay so that he faced Connor, peeking over the barrier pillow. “Maybe we should practice more. Travis was suspicious today.”

                “That was because I fucked up.”

                “I’m the one who fucked up. I got mad at you for nothing.” Nico’s fingers curled into the sheets. The nail polish suited him, too. The color looked good against his skin, even if it was sloppily applied. “I’m a shitty fake boyfriend.”

                “That’s okay. If you were my _real_ boyfriend, it’d be an issue. But you’re not, so it’s not.” Connor smiled warily. “Couples fight. Travis thought we had a tiff is all.”

“Couples shouldn’t fight over dumb things like we did today. I really need to get a handle on my temper,” Nico sighed. “I feel like I’ve been trying and it’s not enough, you know? I think your mom and Travis and Katie all want to believe that you’ve got a boyfriend, so they do. It’ll be different for everyone else.”

                By which he meant Percy and the rest of the wedding guests. Connor shrugged. “We’ve been doing okay so far. Look, no one’s going to believe we’re one of _those_ couples. No pet names, remember?”

                “Yeah.” Nico closed his eyes. “Tomorrow, I’m going to be better.”

 

                Connor got up before Nico again. Nico was an incredibly still sleeper. He hadn’t moved since he’d drifted off last night. He still seemed out of it when Connor got out of bed.

                Annabeth had texted Connor earlier that morning.

                _Want to meet up around noon? We could get lunch._

_sounds good,_ Connor wrote back. _i know a good diner-style restaurant._

After a few minutes, she replied with, _Sounds good. Text me the address and we’ll meet you there._

Nico was still asleep when he got out of the shower later. Connor thought about waking him up, then decided against it. He went to the kitchen. Beatrice was at the breakfast table, drinking coffee while she scrolled through the news on her laptop. Connor didn’t know what it was, but she seemed older than usual. There had been strands of grey in her hair since he and Travis had been in high school. He wondered what had changed.

                “Hey, Mom,” he said.

                She looked up. Her eyes were tired behind her glasses. (Her sight was getting worse; she used to have twenty-twenty vision.) “Morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well?”

                “Yeah. Nico and I are going to get lunch with Annabeth and Percy. Are you busy today?”

                “Hmm, probably.” Beatrice some loose hair behind her ear. “I have an article due tomorrow morning. I’m trying to get most of my work out of the way before the wedding.”

                “Okay. We’ll stay out of your hair.” Connor kissed her on the cheek.

                “Tell your friends I said hi. I don’t want them to think I don’t care about them.”

                “They’d never think that. You’re a _cool_ mom.”

                Beatrice raised her eyebrows at him and shook her head, returning her attention to her laptop. Connor ate a bowl of cereal by the counter. Nico still hadn’t made an appearance. He wondered how long he was going to sleep in for. It wasn’t as if they had stayed up super late last night. Maybe all the hours of sleep Nico had missed during exam week had finally caught up with him.

                However, when Connor returned to the room, Nico was awake and sitting up. (Well, he was hunched over his knees, but he wasn’t lying down anymore.) His hair was matted on one side.

                “When are we meeting them?” he asked.

                “About noon.”

                Nico put his fingers in his hair and shook it out violently. “We need to be good. We need to be really, really good.”

                “It’ll be fine,” Connor reassured him. “Percy tends to take things as they come.”

                “I know that. God.” Nico swung his legs out of bed. “I’m going to do more of the talking today, if that’s alright.”

                Connor blinked. “Oh. Okay.”

                The prospect worried him. Nico had shown some real improvisation brilliance when they’d done their spiel for Travis, but he didn’t seem entirely comfortable making up stories just yet. Then again, Nico was closer with Percy than Connor was, and fooling him was a different game.

               “How did you, uh,” Connor said, “how did you sleep?”

               “Pretty well actually.” Nico stifled a yawn. “I sort of woke up when I realized you got up.”

               “Sorry for disturbing you.”

               Nico shook his head. “Nah, it’s not that you getting out of bed woke me. It was more like… I kind of got the feeling you weren’t there anymore.”

 

               As pumped as Connor was to see Percy and Annabeth again, he was aware that he was now competing with them for couple’s authenticity. With Travis and Katie, it didn’t matter—one half of that equation was his brother. They were too familiar to compare to. Percy and Annabeth were _the_ couple. They had the kind of relationship that other people envied.

                Percy and Annabeth had started dating ages ago, and before that they were close friends. They usually made a three-person unit with Grover Underwood, who was currently taking a year off to go hiking around America’s state parks. With Grover around, there was a buffer between bystanders and the aggressive “couple energy” that exuded from them. Without him, it was only too easy to get blasted.

                Nico once again made an effort to get cleaned up. He kept the aviator’s jacket, but his t-shirt had a few spots of color to it. (It was a _Panic! At the Disco_ shirt.) Connor made a similar effort. He wasn’t about to lie to Annabeth Chase’s face in a dirty sweatshirt.

                “Maybe we should…” Nico said as he ran his fingers through his hair. Was he trying to style it? Connor felt a little bad for him. Despite having a lot of it, Nico’s hair was tragically thin. It didn’t seem interested in doing what Nico wanted.

                “Should what?” Connor prompted. They had thirty minutes before they had to head out.

                Nico cleared his throat. “Practice more.”

                And fuck Travis, because Connor’s mind instantly flew to the bag under his bathroom sink. He knew what Nico meant, but his stupid brain was going off on weird tangents. He hadn’t even suggested they try kissing again. It had been awkward enough cuddling up to each other when Connor knew Nico didn’t enjoy it.

                “What should we practice?” Connor said. Innocently.

                “Just, you know, gross stuff. Being touchy.”

                That _could_ stand some improvement. So far, Nico had done a good job standing there with Connor’s arm around him, but that was it. However, Connor didn’t know how far they could push it when Nico had squirmed about holding his hand.

                “If you’re sure you’re cool with it,” Connor said, “I could touch you more. Oh, you know what would be good? This place we’re going has great milkshakes. We could put two straws into one…”

                “Let’s go with the ‘more touching’ idea,” Nico said. He closed his eyes, inhaled through his nose, and exhaled through his mouth. “Do you know what you’re going to say to Annabeth?”

                “No. She probably won’t sell us out in front of Percy. I hope.”

                Nico shuddered. “As long as we can keep her from doing that, we should be good.”

                He was tense on the drive over. Connor wasn’t exactly relaxed either. Annabeth and Percy wouldn’t be expecting a guy, let alone Nico. They had known him when he dated Miranda. Annabeth had seen him through numerous summer camp crushes that had been exclusively girls. Connor knew this wasn’t a big issue—Percy was not an intolerant person—but he doubted the story’s credibility.

                Then again, hadn’t Travis said something about always suspecting Connor was attracted to men? Okay, maybe Connor had been a little too appreciative of certain guys they knew growing up. And actors. He’d though it was alright to admit another guy was hot without slapping a “no homo” disclaimer on the statement. Apparently the rules were ever shifting.

                God, this was getting confusing. Connor shook it off. He couldn’t get into this weird headspace again.

                “ _Mierda_ ,” Nico said as they pulled into the parking lot. “There’s his car. They’re already here.”

                Percy’s car was indeed parked nearby. Connor recognized the solitary turtle sticker. He wondered, briefly, if they should just fess up and beg Percy and Annabeth not to give them away. Yet Nico seemed to be setting his jaw in determination.

                _More touching,_ Connor thought. He could do that. Would it be too much to hold Nico’s hand on top of the table? Was Nico more or less likely to reflexively punch him in the face if Connor rested his hand on his knee?

                “This is kind of kitschy,” Nico commented as they went inside. A slight tone of disapproval tinged his voice.

                Connor couldn’t argue. The kitsch was what he liked about the place. A fifties style diner with a real jukebox and vinyl booths was a classic piece of Americana. The décor had been altered a bit for Christmas, with snowmen drawn on the specials board and a miniature fir tree on the counter.

                And because the diner was fairly small, Connor could already see where Percy and Annabeth were sitting. They were facing the entrance, which meant Annabeth noticed Connor at about the same time. She waved. _Oh God, here we go._

For a second, Nico was frozen to the spot. Connor had to gently shake his arm to get him to move again. They drifted down towards the booth. Connor registered confusion on Annabeth’s face. She leaned over to whisper something in Percy’s ear. They’d seen Nico.

                “Hey,” Connor said once they were close enough. Neither he nor Nico sat. Annabeth was staring at him with laser focus. She was putting the pieces together; he just knew it.

                “Hi, guys,” Percy said. His eyes darted between them a couple times. “You didn’t say Nico was coming.”

                Connor swallowed. “Uh, I forgot. He’s…” He couldn’t say it. Annabeth’s eyes were boring into his skull.

                Nico turned bright red and grabbed Connor’s hand. “I’m Connor’s date to the wedding,” he said.

                Realization dawned. Connor said nothing. Nico had been quicker on the draw than he had. He felt Nico’s fingers frantically mesh with his.

                “You two are a thing?” Percy asked. “When did that happen?”

                “About a month ago,” Nico answered.

                Meanwhile, Annabeth’s stare shifted from “probing” to “anger.” Connor tried to ignore it. His grip on Nico’s hand grew tighter.

                “We were trying to keep it on the down-low,” Connor said before Annabeth could speak. “We’re not out yet.”

                Nico nodded. “I meant to tell you guys. Things happened kind of fast.”

                “How did you start dating? I mean, I knew you knew each other.”

                At that moment, Connor realized he’d forgotten the story they fed Travis. Luckily, Nico remembered. “There was a fire drill,” he said. “We live down the hall from each other.”

                “We bonded over missing sleep,” Connor added. He recalled Nico telling him to let him lead for a while. That suited him just fine. Annabeth was messing with his ability to lie smoothly. Connor let go of Nico’s hand and gestured for him to slide into the booth. It was getting awkward standing over them.

                “Cool,” Percy said. He glanced at Annabeth, who was digging in her purse. “Are you staying at Connor’s?”

                Nico nodded. “His mom is nice. And we got dinner with Katie and Travis.”

                Annabeth pulled out a pen and scribbled something on a napkin. She passed it to Connor. It said, unsurprisingly, “What do you think you’re doing?” (She had the courtesy to pass him the pen as well.)

                Connor wrote a hasty reply. It said, “Can we talk later?”

                Annabeth read the napkin. She met his eyes. Connor was dead certain she was about to call him out. But all she did was nod and crumple the napkin in her fist.

                Meanwhile, Percy was talking to Nico, unaware of the note passing. “I’m happy for you. Connor’s a good guy.”

                “He is,” Nico said with sincerity.

                Annabeth shrugged. “He’s decent.” She grabbed the menu. “So, what are you in the mood for?”

 

                It was only later, when lunch was winding down, that Connor realized he would’ve rather hashed it out beforehand than saved their discussion for later. Annabeth kept staring at him with such disapproval that he hadn’t touched Nico since they’d unlinked their hands.

                Christ, it was like being at a middle school dance: no kissing, no hands below the waist, leave room for the Holy Ghost.

                Percy had been talking for a while and Connor just couldn’t pay attention. Why was Annabeth the only one who could make him feel shame? Connor had known her forever and he loved her, but that meant she wielded an inordinate amount of power over him. She knew some of his darkest secrets. Connor had legitimately cried on her shoulder once. Even though she’d long since given up trying to convince him onto the “Lawful” path, it still felt like hell disappointing her.

                “You’re being really quiet for once, Connor,” Annabeth said.

                Connor shrugged. “I’m trying to listen more. How am I doing?”

                She frowned. “I get the feeling you’re spacing out.”

                “No, I was hanging on every word.” Connor waved a hand. “All this stuff about… um, it’s really interesting.”

                “You were super spaced out,” Percy said. He turned to Nico. “Right?”

                Nico jumped. “R-right. You were staring into space, Connor.” He fiddled with his drink straw, pointedly not looking at anyone else at the table.

                “Sorry. I’m not feeling too hot,” Connor said. In fact, he was starting to sweat under the intensity of Annabeth’s gaze.

                “I’m still curious about this whole ‘you and Nico’ thing,” Annabeth said. “It’s kind of out of the blue, isn’t it?”

                Nico looked up and met Connor’s nervous glance. Connor wondered if he should defer to Nico in this case. He’d been taking charge today, and it was more likely that Annabeth would let him live if she understood Nico was fully in on the scheme.

                “Well…” Connor began.

                “I decided to give him a chance and it worked out.” Nico shrugged. “It’s not that hard to understand.”

                “How about you, Connor? When did you start crushing on Nico?”

                “I wouldn’t call it crushing,” he said. “I sort of… thought he seemed lonely. Obviously I tried to break the ice, but he wasn’t interested. The fire drill changed a lot of things.”

                “Fellow feeling,” Nico murmured. “We were both so pissed about the drill we realized we had something in common.”

                _I don’t know why he doesn’t think he’s good at this; he’s amazing._ Connor didn’t bother holding back a smile as he looked at Nico. “And then I realized he was cute and he realized I wasn’t as annoying as he thought.”

                “He was even _more_ annoying,” Nico said.

                Connor reached for Nico’s hand, prepared to play up the ribbing Nico was sending his way, but Annabeth’s heavy stare made him stop. Even the act of holding hands set her on edge. Connor withdrew. Nico glanced at him.

“I like the nail polish,” Percy said. “Looks good. On both of you.”

                Nico ducked his head. He might’ve been blushing. Suddenly, he pushed his glass aside and started to stand. Connor hastily moved out of his way. When he sat back down, Annabeth had turned her quizzical look on Percy.

                “Did I say the wrong thing?” Percy said, sounding genuinely confused. “I wasn’t making fun of him or anything. Guys can wear nail polish.”

                “It’s probably Nico being Nico,” Annabeth said. “You know how he is. Don’t you, Connor?”

                Connor envied Nico’s easy retreat. He needed a break from this. As he got up, he mumbled something about going to check on Nico. _He said he’d be better today. Is this really not working?_ Connor thought he’d seen Nico leave in the direction of the restrooms. He hoped Nico hadn’t just needed to use the bathroom, otherwise he’d look like a moron for being so concerned.

                The diner bathroom had only a couple stalls. Nico wasn’t using either one of them, because he was leaning on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He turned when he heard Connor come in.

                “I’m not upset,” he said, a little too quickly.

                “Are you feeling okay? Do you think… should we just tell them…?”

                “No!” Nico put a hand over his mouth. He apparently hadn’t meant to say it so loudly. “We don’t have to do that. I think Percy believes us.”

                “Annabeth hasn’t said anything yet, but I don’t know how to buy her silence.”

                “What were you passing notes about earlier?”

                “I said I’d talk to her later and she seemed okay with it. Maybe I can get her to hold off until after the wedding’s over. And not tell Travis.”

                “She can’t tell Percy either. Ever.”

                “Why?”

                Nico rocked from foot to foot. “It’s embarrassing, okay? Pretending to be someone’s date. I don’t want him to know I got involved in something so pathetic.”

                Nico seemed to put a lot of stock in what Percy thought of him. Connor could understand that. Percy was the boy everyone wanted to be: reasonably clever, handsome, athletic, just enough of a bad boy to be interesting. Someone like Nico, who lived on the fringes of the “in crowd” probably looked up to him.

                “Even if he believes us,” Nico went on, “we’re not selling it.”

                “You don’t think?”

“I said we had to be good,” Nico whispered, “but you’re acting like I’m diseased. I thought we agreed that some touching is fine, for the illusion.”

                “I know. I’m sorry. It’s Annabeth. She’s been giving me the death glare the entire time.”

                Nico groaned. “ _Annabeth_ gives you stage fright?”

                “Look, you know how she is. She’s been making me feel dirty for even looking at you.” Connor thought he heard the bathroom door open but it was just his imagination. He relaxed. “You could always initiate something. Show her that I’m not taking advantage of you.”

                Nico went a little pink. “H-how? I held your hand. I said you were my boyfriend; what else am I supposed to do?”

                “You could kiss me.”

                “No. Not in front of them.”

                “It doesn’t have to be on the mouth. You were the one who said no one would believe my boyfriend doesn’t kiss me. Just find an opportunity and take it.”

                “I did, but…” Nico bit his lip. “That was when no one could see us. This is really public, Con.”

                Connor put his hands on Nico’s shoulders. “Hey. It’s okay. No one knows who you are and no one’s going to say anything. If they do, they can shove it up their ass.”

                Nico let out a choked laugh.

                “This is practice for the wedding. If you can do it in front of this many people, you can do it in front of the extended family,” Connor went on. “And I’m here, okay? You’re not alone. We’re in this together, remember? Promise I’ll stand up for you.” He made the three fingered Boy Scouts salute.

                Nico released a shaky breath. After a few beats, he met Connor’s eyes and said, “That was really gay.”

                Connor laughed so hard he snorted.

 

                They returned to their table, disregarding how it looked for them to come back from the bathroom at the same time. (Connor thought it actually added to the performance, but he wasn’t sure how Nico felt about it.) Annabeth and Percy didn’t show much of a reaction.

                “I think we’re about ready for the check,” Annabeth said. “Unless you want something else?”

                Connor turned to Nico. “Do you want a sundae?”

                “It’s freezing outside.”

                “Yeah, but there’s a warm brownie at the bottom.”

                “I’m good.” Nico reached into his pocket for his wallet.

                Connor stopped him. “I got you.”

                Nico hesitated, then withdrew his hand. “Aw, thanks, _caro_.” And then he leaned over and planted a kiss on Connor’s cheek. He was blushing when he pulled back, but he’d done it.

                Connor grinned. Annabeth’s brow was furrowed. He didn’t care as much anymore. They were going to talk soon. She’d understand once he explained. Now that Nico had shown less reserve about the physical aspects of the scam, she’d have less to complain about.

                While Annabeth and Percy were messing with their coats, Connor whispered, “I thought you didn’t like pet names.”

               “I said you weren’t allowed to call _me_ pet names. You’re fair game.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new chapter, since i'll probably be busy with camp nano this month. it's finally coming together though, so no worries. i'm bridging the gaps between plot events at the moment. after this gets closer to finishing, you can expect the third part of the thief and the angel series. hold me to that.

“Connor, do you mind if I go with you and Nico back to your house?”

                Here it was, the confrontation Connor had been waiting for. They were standing in the salted parking lot, slush leaking into Connor’s sneakers. Nico already had his hand on the passenger’s side door.

                “Sure,” Connor said slowly. He looked at Percy. “Do you mind?”

                “No, it’s cool. Annabeth mentioned she wanted to say hi to your mom.”

                “Then it’s all good.” Connor faked a smile. “Nico already called shotgun, but there’s plenty of room in the back.”

                Annabeth kissed Percy lightly on the lips before getting in. Percy had already been smiling before their mouths touched. (Connor legitimately almost sighed, like he was watching a romcom; Nico actually did sigh, though his tone was more “can we leave already?”)

                “I can’t believe Percy doesn’t want to say hi to my mom,” Connor said as they pulled out.

                “Oh, he knows we’re going to have a _long_ talk,” Annabeth said, leaning between the front seats. “Even if he doesn’t know what about.”

                Oh good, so they were starting already. “I can explain.”

                “I can’t wait to hear it. I’m interested in what _you_ have to say, too.” She looked at Nico. Nico went stiff. “Him,” she pointed at Connor, “I can understand. Why you’re in on this is beyond me.”

                “It’s actually a really funny story,” Connor began.

                “Save it until we’re at your house.”

                Connor did just that. He saved it as they went inside, he saved it while he made them all coffee, and he saved it while he popped into his mom’s office to let her know Annabeth was there (and to confirm that she couldn’t hear anything through the door). By the time they were all settled in the living room, he had about three different defenses prepared. Of course he forgot all of them once Annabeth started talking.

“You’ve done some stupid things in the past, but this takes the cake.”

                “It’s not the worst I could’ve come up with,” Connor said. “I could’ve _hired_ someone to be my date.”

                Nico spit out his coffee. Annabeth’s frown deepened.

                “As if,” she said. “A call girl? Where would you even find someone like that?”

                “I’m not talking about a hooker! Oh my God, who do you people take me for?”

                Nico put his head in his hands. He was shaking violently. At first, Connor thought he might be crying—maybe out of sheer embarrassment—but when he saw Nico’s hands cover his mouth, he realized he was laughing.

                It was kind of scary. Connor had never seen Nico laugh like this before.

                “I-I’m sorry,” he gasped, bending double.

                “I guess it is kind of funny,” Connor said. A snort escaped the side of his mouth. “It would’ve made a great story if I brought a hooker to my brother’s wedding.”

                Nico giggled and hid his face again.

                Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ruining your brother’s wedding would be _hilarious_.”

                “Why do you automatically assume I’d ruin it? You’re making a lot of unfair assumptions about this imaginary call-girl.”

                “I’m not assuming anything! This is about _you_. You’d rather come up with crazy schemes than just tell the truth. Would it have been so bad to admit you don’t have a girlfriend?”

                “Obviously not. Nico’s not a girl and that worked out okay. And I’m not paying him, so there’s nothing shady going on.”

                “Oh my God!” Annabeth threw her hands in the air. “Arguing with you is like arguing with a character from _Alice in Wonderland._ Earth logic just doesn’t apply to you!”

                “You guys! Shut up!” Nico cried. “I’m going to die.”

                Connor put a hand on Nico’s back. “Are you okay, man?”

                Nico shook his head. He took a deep breath, coughing a little. Once, he’d recovered, he sat up and wiped his eyes. “Jesus. I almost choked to death.”

                “I was kind of worried there for a second,” Connor admitted. “You were starting to turn red.”

                “It caught me off guard.” Nico sipped his coffee. “Look, it’s pointless fighting about it now because we already lied. If we tell the truth now, it’ll just be awkward.”

                “He’s right,” Connor said. “Besides, Nico needs to stay with me for the break. His home life isn’t exactly…”

                “It’s shit,” Nico clarified. He met Annabeth’s eyes. “Please don’t. It’s been working out so far. Connor’s doing me a favor.”

                Annabeth softened. However, she wasn’t pleased. “If you couldn’t go home, you could’ve come to me or Percy.”

                “No.” His tone was adamant.

                Annabeth turned to Connor. “And you’re pretending to be gay now? Or bi? Doesn’t that make you a little uncomfortable?”

                Connor hesitated. He felt Nico studying him. Waiting for his response. “I’m an actor,” he said. “I’ve pretended to be in love with people before, no problem.”

                Annabeth knew a non-answer when she heard one, but she also knew not to dig too deep on certain issues. Connor noticed a flicker of concern in her eyes. She sighed. “I guess the damage is already done. But that makes it more important for you to tell the truth sooner rather than later.”

                “Or never. Never sounds good.”

                “You can’t do that.”

                “I absolutely can. This isn’t hurting anybody, Annabeth. It’s been going well so far.”

                “And when it’s all over? When the wedding is done and we go back to school?”

                “Easy,” Nico said. “We break up.”

                Annabeth crossed her arms. “Immediately? That’s not going to go over well. You don’t invite someone to your brother’s wedding and break up with them as soon as you leave. You’re trying to pass yourselves off as a happy couple, am I right?”

                “Yeah, obviously.”

                “Then how do you account for the break up?”

                Nico and Connor looked at each other. They hadn’t discussed this. Connor hadn’t given it much thought, truthfully. The end of the scheme seemed so far off in the future that it didn’t feel important.

                “I wouldn’t mind fake-dating Nico a little longer,” Connor admitted.

                “I’d like to see how long that lasts.”

                 “Do you think I’m incapable of maintaining a fake relationship?”

                “I think you’re incapable of maintaining a relationship, period.”

                Nico put his cup to his lips. “He’s been good to me so far.”

                Connor didn’t like the skeptical look Annabeth was giving him. It was true Connor wasn’t what you’d call boyfriend material, but he wasn’t a total idiot. And he was getting the hang of interacting with Nico.

                Annabeth put her fingers to her temples. “Why are you like this? Why can’t you just tell people the truth?”

                “You remember what it was like after Miranda and I broke up,” Connor said. He felt Nico watching him then, more intently than he had before. “They need to know I’m good.”

                “Are you good, though?” Annabeth reached out for him, putting her hands on his shoulders. “I know it makes you uncomfortable, but if you admitted something was wrong…”

                “But nothing’s wrong! They’re the ones who assumed I had a problem.”

                “You’re talking over my head,” Nico cut in. “What happened after you and Miranda broke up, Connor?”

                Connor hesitated. After everything Nico had told him in the car, he was extra hesitant to give him all the details. Nico’s sister died _right next to him._ What was Connor even whining about? See, he didn’t have a problem. Stolls didn’t have issues. They got into a few scrapes and they bounced back. That was how things worked.

                “I already told you,” he said. “Travis and Mom thought I was heartbroken.”

                “Why did they think that? The way you talk about her, it sounds like you didn’t really like her.”

                Blood rushed to Connor’s cheeks. He looked away. Annabeth squeezed his shoulders. She probably remembered, just as well as he did, the late night call that had led her abandon Percy while she picked Connor up from the side of the highway. Connor did; he remembered every single word she’d said on the drive back to campus.

                Nico must’ve guessed he’d hit on something sensitive. “Fine. Don’t tell me. It’s just obvious there’s something you’re leaving out.” He frowned. “I told you about Bianca.”

                Connor didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to give Nico any hints. Annabeth let go of him and took a step back.

                “I won’t out you,” Annabeth said, “but only because I think you should come clean on your own. I can’t promise to cover for you. This whole thing rubs me the wrong way.”

                “You won’t tell Percy, will you?” Nico asked.

                She shook her head. “It would take too long to explain. I don’t want him to worry.”

                “Thanks, Annabeth,” Connor said. “I’ll make it up to you.”

                “It’s not me you have to make it up to. So far, I’m the only person you’ve been honest with.”

 

                Shopping with Annabeth was entirely different experience from shopping with Travis and Nico. Annabeth made lists. She knew exactly where to go and what to buy before she even got in the car. Connor got the impression that she didn’t like shopping, but considered it a necessary evil. The way she’d asked Connor to go with her earlier had sounded like she was asking for an escort into the Underworld.

                “I actually have another ulterior motive for coming here,” she’d said, pulling the list out of her purse. “I needed to get away from Percy so I could buy his present. Con…”

                He’d jumped on the opportunity. He hadn’t managed to sneak away yesterday and he was more determined than ever to get Nico a present. (Connor had asked Nico if he wanted to come, just for show, but Nico hadn’t been interested. Connor hoped he wouldn’t be too bored by himself.) It would be tough to hide it, considering they shared a room. There might be space in an upstairs closet.

                So that was how Connor ended up at the mall for the second day in a row. He was mostly following Annabeth, pausing to look at stuff in whatever store was next on her list.

                “Do you know what kind of stuff Nico likes?” Connor asked in the Yankee Candle store. He picked up a beach scented jar candle and popped the lid off. “Oh my God, Annabeth, how do they make these? It’s gotta be magic. The people at Yankee Candle are witches.”

                One of the sales associates narrowed her eyes at him.

                Annabeth ignored the last part. She knelt to look at a lower shelf. “You’re his boyfriend. I think you’d know better than me.”

                “Fake boyfriend.”

                “We are who we pretend to be.” It sounded like a quote. Connor didn’t want to ask, just in case it was Dr. Seuss or some other obvious person.

                “I’m serious, though. You and Percy are closer to him than I am.” _Sadly._

                “A little. Nico’s not close to anyone. Haven’t you noticed?” She found what she was looking for and stood up. “He gets along better with Percy than with me. You know, I don’t think he liked me at first. He used to get uncomfortable whenever I was around.”

                “Did you ever find out why?”

                She shook her head. “He must’ve gotten over it at some point. Not everyone warms up to me as fast as you did.” There was a twinge of sadness to her voice. She used to get smack-talked at camp for being a know-it-all. (Travis and Connor may have participated in some of that smack-talk before they got to know her better.)

                “Well, it takes even longer for people to get used to Nico,” Connor said. “Although he’s been doing way better since we’ve been doing this thing. My mom loves him.”

                “He’s a better actor than I realized. If I didn’t already know you weren’t actually dating, I would’ve thought that cheek kiss was convincing.” Annabeth seemed to be done, but she was waiting for Connor to get his fill of “Mountain Lodge.” A line appeared between her eyebrows. “And he called you _caro_.”

                “Yeah, he was trying to show prove everything was cool.”  

                “Connor?”

                “Yes?”

                Her expression worried him. Her grey eyes had darkened. “Be careful.”

                He didn’t know what she was warning him to be careful of. Connor wanted to ask for clarification, but he was afraid of the answer. So he nodded.

                Annabeth relaxed and went to pay for her candles. They only had a few more places to hit and Connor was still coming up dry. Beatrice had made it clear that she didn’t need or want anything and Travis said his wedding gift would be enough. (Not that it stopped Connor from considering what to get them.) It was easier to shop for them than for Nico. He’d grown up with them.

                “We have to go to the Disney store,” Annabeth said. “Bobby and Matthew both want Star Wars stuff.” She said “Disney store” the same way other people said “the abandoned mine on the edge of town.”

                “You’re not a Mouseketeer?” Connor teased.

                “I’m worried about the crowd.”

                She was right to be, since there was a bit of crush. Connor acted as lookout and bulldozer, clearing a way for Annabeth to the Star Wars section of the store. She shuddered.

                “They better like what I’m getting them,” she said. “I’m going to all this trouble.”

                “Do you mind if I look around?”

                “No problem. I’ll just be over here.”

                Connor shuffled away. The crowd worked like the tide, pushing Connor into the _Nightmare Before Christmas_ section of the store. It was well stocked for the season—but not too well, considering all the _Frozen_ merchandise at the front. Connor remembered Nico’s Jack Skellington pajama pants. There were a few different t-shirts he could picture Nico wearing.

                In fact, this was perfect. It was a seamless blend of Christmas spirit and skulls. If Connor couldn’t pick something out for Nico here, he wouldn’t be able to do it anywhere. (Unless he wanted to descend into Hot Topic, which was a major no-go area.) It took him a lot of deliberation, but he eventually settled on a Jack Skellington coffee mug.

                _It’ll fuel his caffeine addiction_ and _match his aesthetic. I’m a genius._ Connor discreetly patted himself on the back. He went to show Annabeth, who was examining two different pairs of Star Wars pajamas with intense concentration.

                “What’s this? What’s this?” Connor sang, rapidly moving the mug in front of her face.

                Annabeth pushed his hand aside. “Stop that. You’re going to drop it. Is that…?”

                “Nico’s gift. I’m 99.9% sure he doesn’t already have one.”

                She studied him for a long time, then said, “That’s actually a great choice. If a little predictable.”

                Connor beamed at her. Hopefully he’d assuaged some of her worries about the scam. She draped the pajamas over her arm and headed up to the cash register. Connor’s chest felt warm as he left with the mug. He was finally getting excited about Christmas.

 

                Nico was in the living room when Connor got home. He’d dropped Annabeth off at the hotel. He wondered how she was going to hide Percy’s gift in such a small space, but she’d probably pull it off. Connor was currently more worried about how he was going to get his bag upstairs without Nico asking him about it.

                He didn’t worry about it long, because Nico looked up from his phone and said, “Did you buy something?”

                “Christmas gifts,” Connor said. He headed for the stairs.

                “For who? What did you get?”

                “Oh, you know. Stuff.” He started to climb. To his surprise, Connor heard Nico get off the couch. “I’m just going to put it away until the 25th. You don’t need to follow me.”

                “Connor, please tell me you didn’t get me a Christmas gift.”

                Connor stopped. He turned around, holding the bag up. “Do you not want it? Because I’ll keep it.” He was trying to be flippant, but his heart was sinking. Was Nico seriously rejecting a present before he even saw it?

                Yet Nico’s expression told a different story. “I…” His fingers fluttered along the railing. “I didn’t get you anything. It’d be weird if you gave me…”

                “Hey, this is your Christmas gift to me,” Connor said, gesturing between them. “You’re doing me a huge favor.”

                “You’re doing me one, too. I’m going to look like a terrible boyfriend if I don’t get you something.”

                Connor smiled sheepishly. “Well, that’s kind of why I bought you a present.”

                “It’s too uneven if you’re the only one.” A determined light went on in Nico’s eyes. “I said I’ll be better. I’ll ask your mom to take me shopping sometime. God, Con, you don’t think.”

                “Nico, it’s fine.”

                “It’s not fine. Sometimes it feels like you’re pulling all the weight in this fake relationship.” His eyes darted around, probably looking for Beatrice. Connor hoped she hadn’t heard. As far as he knew, she was still in her office. Nico lowered his voice and added, “I’d just like things to be fair.”

                Connor thought about it for a minute. Then he said, “Okay. If you really want to. Now will you let me hide your present?”

                Nico backed off the stairs. Connor made sure he wasn’t following, then went the rest of the way up. He put the mug box on a shelf in the closet he was certain Nico couldn’t reach without a stepladder and came back down. Nico was leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

                “Penny for your thoughts?” Connor asked, jumping the last couple of steps.

                “I’m trying to figure out what you could’ve possibly gotten for me at the Disney store.”

                Damn, he hadn’t thought to hide the bag. “Don’t worry about it.” Connor winked for good measure.

                “Please don’t do that,” Nico said, turning away.

 

                Travis and Katie came over for dinner. Beatrice was able to put work on hold long enough to tell them what she wanted from the local pizza chain. She was busier than usual. Connor felt sort of indignant on her behalf. It was the holiday season. When was she going to get a break? Was that adult life? He wasn’t sure he wanted to graduate anymore.

                “Hi again, Nico,” Katie said when she came in. “Travis told me you got your suit for the wedding. Oh, did you paint your nails?” She took Nico’s hand—she was quicker than he was—so she could look closer. “Cute. It’s a little messy. Was it your first try?”

                “No, it was mine.” Connor held up his own hand and wiggled his fingers. “We did each other’s.”

                “Seriously?” Travis laughed. “Man, I saw you buy that stuff, but I didn’t think you were actually going to wear it.”

                “Why would I buy it if I wasn’t going to wear it?”

                Nico slid his hand out of Katie’s grasp. “We, uh, got stuck coming home yesterday. The storm. It was something to do.”

                Travis’s eyes lit up. Connor signaled for him to keep his mouth shut. He did not want to be reminded of the _other_ purchase from that day, nor did he want to hear any other insinuations.

                “I warned you about the weather,” Katie said. “At least you didn’t run off the road. How’ve things been going?”

                “Going,” Connor said. “We had lunch with Percy and Annabeth today. They’re looking forward to the wedding. Yours and theirs.” He winked. (Nico groaned.)

                “I can’t wait to see that,” Travis said. He chuckled. “I’m betting Percy will be more of a Bridezilla than Annabeth. She’d probably be cool with signing a few documents at the courthouse.”

                Connor leaned in conspiratorially. “Annabeth told me he’s a romantic. You should’ve seen how they celebrated their anniversary. You guys have to make sure they don’t steal the show from you.”

                Nico checked his phone. “It’s almost thirty minutes. Do you think the driver got lost?”

                As far as subject changes went, it was pretty well executed, but Connor recognized it for what it was. Nico was clearly getting bored of all the wedding talk. Connor couldn’t blame him. He was worried that the conversation might turn to them in a minute and he wasn’t prepared for that.

                The delivery guy arrived a couple minutes later. The four of them set up in the kitchen. (Katie took a plate to Beatrice.) The breakfast table wasn’t quite big enough for all of them to sit around comfortably. Connor tried to rearrange his legs so they weren’t in anyone’s way. Nico had the advantage of making himself compact.

                “By the way,” Travis said, “getting back to wedding stuff, are you interested in coming to the bachelor party?”

                Katie not-so-subtly rolled her eyes. “It’s not an obligation. Considering Travis didn’t have the decency to make you a part of the wedding party.”

                “Oh, I didn’t want the responsibility,” Connor said, waving a hand. To Travis, he said, “What’s the plan? Strip club?”

                Travis laughed and shook his head. “No. I mean, kind of. It’s burlesque.”

                “Like the Christina Aguilera movie? You actually found somewhere around here that does that?”

                “One of the guys knows the place. He said it’s really cool.”

                “I don’t know; the movie was pretty bad.”

                “Connor, you’re a theater major,” Travis said. “Don’t tell me you’re not interested in seeing the costumes at least.”

                Connor looked at Nico, trying to gauge his comfort level. Unless Nico was into flashy showmanship, he didn’t think there’d be anything to interest him at a burlesque. Yet he wasn’t offering any objections.

                “What do you think?” Connor said. He nudged Nico with his elbow. “Could be fun.”

                “I’m fine with it.” He didn’t elaborate. Connor hoped he really was fine with it.

                “What about you, Katie? Doing anything fun for the bachelorette party?”

                She brightened. “We’re doing karaoke. You should tell Annabeth she’s welcome to come, too. Our party’s super small, so I’d like it if more people joined in.”

                “I’ll let her know. Did you invite Percy, Trav?”

                “I tried, but he wasn’t interested. He said he didn’t think Annabeth would like it.”

                Connor also doubted Annabeth would like it. She could be possessive. Connor had yet to see her actually fight another woman for looking at Percy the wrong way, but there were times when he’d thought it was close to happening. And Percy was a naturally cool person who tried to be friendly and didn’t always realize someone was flirting with him.

                 “It’ll be fun,” Travis assured them. “And who knows? Maybe you’ll be able to put your degree to use there after you graduate.”

                Connor flicked a pepper at him.

 

“Are you sure you’re cool with going to the bachelor party?” Connor asked while they were lying in bed with the barrier pillow between them.

                “As long as there’s no audience participation, I’ll be okay. I’m kind of curious. Will it be like the campus drag show?”

                “Kind of? I don’t know that much about burlesque. I heard that it’s a striptease, but with better costumes. And more retro.” Connor paused. “I didn’t know you went to the drag show. How was it?”

                “Weird. I felt inadequate.”

                “Oh, Nico, I know they seem tall, but it’s just the heels.”

                “I mean I didn’t think I belonged there.”

                _Good job, Connor. That was a great time for a joke._ Connor stared at the ceiling. “Sorry. How come? Wouldn’t that be a place where you _could_ fit in?”

                Nico sighed. “I knew I was gay since I was eleven, but I never did anything about it. I didn’t go out with anyone, I didn’t tell anyone besides my sister, and I’m just kind of… boring. Like, I actually hate rainbows.”

                “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not surprised by that last bit.”

                “I went to the drag show because Annabeth and Percy were going and I guess it was fun, but being there made me wonder if I was doing the whole ‘gay’ thing wrong. I couldn’t relate to anyone there.”

                Connor propped himself up on his elbows. He looked over the barrier pillow. Nico was lying on his side, facing away from him. “You don’t have to fit in, you know. The reason you couldn’t relate to them is because they’re different people with different lives. Your sexuality is literally one thing about you. That’s nothing.”

                “Some days it feels like everything,” Nico said quietly.

                Connor wanted to say he envied Nico. He had been questioning himself since this whole thing began, while Nico had always known who he was. Maybe that was the trouble with being an actor. Connor had played so many roles over the years that there were times he doubted his authenticity. (And he was very good at lying to himself.) That wasn’t going to make Nico feel any better, though, so he chose a different track.

                “I think you’re really interesting. You cut open dead bodies. You speak Italian. That’s pretty cool. You shouldn’t worry about being ‘gay enough’ or ‘normal enough’. You’re enough.”

                Nico didn’t speak for a while. Connor almost thought he’d gone to sleep when he stirred. He rolled halfway back toward Connor, finally lifting his face from the pillow. He hadn’t cried. That was a relief.

                “Do you do this a lot?” Nico asked. “Console people?”

                Connor shook his head. “I try sometimes, but it doesn’t always work.”

                “Hmm.” Nico considered something for a second, then picked up the barrier pillow and tossed it aside. He rolled back over. “I trust you. Good night.”

                Connor processed what had just happened. He laid back down and closed his eyes. He smiled to himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i have nothing against dudes who wear flannel shirts. if there's some wonky formatting, you can blame me. had to do some manual indenting. i'm also sorry that everything is awkward because it just gets more awkward from here.

                It was a holiday miracle. Ever since November, Connor had been waiting, wishing, hoping, and praying for the sky to give him something other than freezing rain or sleet. Now, on this blessed morning, they had snow. And not even a weak, dusty snow. It was coming down in huge flakes, like there was a stagehand just out of sight throwing them by the handful.

                “Fuck. Yes,” Connor said, pressing his face to the window. The glass was cold against his cheek, but he didn’t care.

                Nico was significantly less excited. He frowned at the drifts as they formed. “Are you five years old or something?”

                “Don’t tell me the sight of snow doesn’t awaken your inner child,” Connor said. “You must’ve had fun once.”

                “It’s cold and wet. I’m over it. The only thing snow is good for is cancelling school and we’re already on break.”

                “Nico, you are a twisted, twisted man. Life’s simple pleasures no longer affect you.”

                “I spend a lot of time around corpses; everything seems kind of pointless after a while.”

                “The fragility of life should give you a greater appreciation for it,” Connor said. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

He got up from where he was crouched by the window and went to get his jacket. His jeans and sneakers probably weren’t the best for snowy weather, but the excitement was getting to him. Once he’d put on a pair of gloves, wrapped a scarf around his neck, and shoved his earflap hat onto his head, he marched onto the porch.

                So far, he and Nico were casually avoiding talking about anything serious. The wedding was in just a couple days. Beatrice had been taking calls from extended family all morning. Connor had spoken to a couple aunts and uncles, just to check in.

                “We heard you brought someone home,” an uncle had said. Connor could practically hear his eyebrows wiggling. “When’s the happy announcement for you two?”

                “Jesus,” Connor had said. “We’ve only been dating three months.”

                “Listen, you can’t take a girl to a wedding and not expect her to get some ideas.”

                “Ah.”

                “Becca can’t wait to catch up, by the way. She wants to know when you’ll get a starring role on Broadway.” The uncle had chuckled.

                Connor laughed back. “Um, probably never, since I’m a lousy singer.”

                “Oh, they can autotune anyone these days.”

                _Not live_ , Connor thought (though it was something he’d pay good money to see.) When was a good time to break the news that his date was a guy? (A guy with the eyes of a heroin addict and the attitude of Wednesday Addams.) Beatrice clearly hadn’t mentioned it.

                In the end, Connor didn’t say anything. They’d see at the wedding and if they had a problem with it… well, nothing of value was lost. He liked his family alright, but he wasn’t particularly close with the various branches. There’d been a minor falling out when his mom had two kids with a man she hadn’t married. Things were good now—aside from a few odd remarks after the breakup. Sometimes he suspected his mom wasn’t as fine with it as she pretended. She’d get a tiny twitch in the corner of her eye whenever someone brought up Travis and Connor’s father.

                Snow flew into Connor’s face. He put up a hand to shield himself. Despite the occasional gust of wind, it was a fantastic snow day. It wasn’t even that cold.

                The door opened and shut behind him. “You left me in there by myself, asshole,” Nico said, zipping up his aviator jacket. “Should I just sit on your couch and stare into space?”

                “I thought you hated the snow,” Connor said, grinning.

                “Well, it’d be extra pathetic if you started playing by yourself. What else is there to do?”

                Connor hopped off the porch. “Do you want to build a—”

                “I will break up with you,” Nico said, “if you finish that sentence.”

                Connor shut up.

 

                He didn’t sing the song, but they built a snowman anyway. It wasn’t a pretty snowman. He was lumpy, with tiny arms and no nose. He had a few dirty patches too, where they’d pulled snow from the gutter or dug down to the dirt underneath. Still, Connor felt accomplished.

                “Trav and I used to try making the Calvin and Hobbes snowmen,” he told Nico as he gathered more snow in his hands. “Turns out it’s harder than it looks.”

                Nico sighed, a white puff escaping his lips. There was snow in his hair; he didn’t have a hat or scarf, and was getting by with his fingerless gloves. “Bianca was good at it. She used to bring out clothes for them to wear.”

                Connor packed his snow, not daring to comment. He couldn’t think of anything better than, “That’s sweet” and it didn’t sound great, even in his own head.

                “You know, I can actually picture you as a kid,” Nico said. “You and Travis grew up here, right?”

                Connor nodded.

                “What about Annabeth? She’s known you for a long time.”

                “Summer camp.” Connor smiled at the memories. “If she lived here, we probably wouldn’t have been such shitty kids. We used to ride around here on our Razor scooters, throw stuff at cars.”

                “Throw stuff at cars…?” Nico said.

                “Yeah. Don’t worry. We never hit anything.”

                “What a delinquent. Was it because your aim was bad or you chickened out?”

                “Nah, my aim is fine.”

                The snowball Connor had been making hit Nico square in the chest. Nico looked down at it, then back up. Connor pointed at the snowman.

                “Don’t look at me,” he said.

                “You’re dead, Stoll.”

                “Catch me if you can!” Connor cackled, racing over the snowy ground. He wasn’t as fast as he usually was, but he was easily outrunning Nico. Occasionally he paused to throw more handfuls of snow. Nico chased him around the side of the house and into the backyard, every toss of his going wide.

                “You’re the one with the bad aim, di Angelo,” Connor shouted over his shoulder.

A snowball struck him in the back and he went down.

                “Medic!”

                Nico caught up and stood over him, panting. His breath escaped in huge clouds. He looked like a dragon. There was another mass of snow in his bare hand. “Here’s some ice for your wounds.”

                “Please, have mercy!” Connor made a pathetic attempt at crawling away.

                Nico sat on him and tried to shove the snow down his jacket. Connor rolled over, wrestling against him with just enough strength to hold him off. He pinned Nico to the ground. Nico’s hair spread across the whiteness like an ink stain. His face was pink from the cold and exertion.

                “Fuck you,” Nico said.

                “Drop your weapon.”

                Nico pressed his knee into Connor’s stomach and shoved him off. Connor’s back hit the ground. The next thing he knew, Nico was straddling him again, fist still clutching the hunk of snow. How he’d managed to hold onto it was a mystery to Connor. _His fingers must hurt like hell._

                Nico got a hand free to tug open the collar of Connor’s jacket, as well as the sweater and t-shirt beneath. Chilly air funneled in across Connor’s skin.

                “Nico, I’m begging you…”

                “You started it.”

                The snow went in. It took every ounce of Connor’s mental power not to scream. He was rarely on the receiving end of these exchanges. “I’ll get you back,” he said through gritted teeth. “You’re not going to get away with this, you fiend.”

                “Stop being overdramatic.”

                Connor could feel it melting, trickling over his stomach. He shivered. Nico’s hand was freezing against his exposed skin. His fingers were wet.

                “Y-you’re gonna get fr-frostbite,” Connor said. “You should be wearing real gloves.”

                “I don’t need them. It doesn’t bother me.”

                Connor scoffed. “Dumb kid. Come here.”

                He didn’t wait; Connor simply shucked his gloves and put them on Nico. His body protested against the cold. Inside and out. He needed a hot shower and a warm drink. He was also mildly curious as to how much heat Nico had trapped against his skin. Mildly.

                “You owe me.”

                Nico was staring at the gloves like he couldn’t believe he was wearing them. Random acts of kindness seemed to surprise him. It made Connor a little sad. Nico got off him and helped him up.

                “I’ll make you a hot chocolate,” he said. Nico flicked one of the tassels on Connor’s hat. “This is so dumb.”

                “It’s warm and I make it work.”

                Nico hesitated. He tilted his head to the side, as if he was examining Connor. “You’re right,” he said. “It works for you.”

 

                Nico kept his promise about the hot chocolate. He made it with hot milk in a saucepan, instead of heating it up in the microwave like Connor usually did. His mind settled idly on thinking about what Nico was like in his own home and how they did things there. He didn’t want to stereotype, but Italians were supposed to be major foodies, weren’t they? He bet they probably made hot chocolate with actual chocolate, not the powder that came from a packet.

                “What are you called when you’re at home?” he asked when Nico put the cup in front of him.

                Nico blinked. “What?”

                “Sorry.” _Note to self: make Nico watch_ Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. “I mean, what’s it like when you’re with your mom? Do you do nice stuff for her?”

                “We get along. She doesn’t always understand me. Worries a lot.”

                “Have you called her since we’ve been here?”

                Nico shook his head. “I didn’t feel like it. She knows I’m here and not dead. She’s still… sad I’m not going to spend Christmas or New Year’s with them.” 

                “You should call her then, at least. She’ll probably want to hear from you.”

                “I will. I wouldn’t leave her hanging.” He put his chin in his hand. “Our family’s not poor or anything, but she didn’t have an easy life. Living with my grandfather.”

                Connor sipped his hot chocolate. It was wonderful, definitely better than he could make it. “It sounds like she loves you. Speaking of, seriously, what _are_ you called at home? My mom is about two conversations away from calling you, ‘honey.’”

                Nico’s cheeks went a little pink. “Oh. Um. It’s not… it doesn’t make sense in English.”

                “Tell me.” Connor scooted forward in his chair. He wanted to hear this.

                “ _Patatino._ It means,” Nico heaved a huge sigh, “little potato. Don’t laugh!”

                Connor was trying his best, but he couldn’t fight the giggles. “That’s so cute! She calls you that?”

                “Not so much anymore.” Nico was bright pink at this point. “Sometimes it slips out when she wants me to help around the house. All pet names are weird, okay? That’s why I’m not into them.”

                “Oh yeah? You used one on me yesterday.”

                Nico looked down. “That was for the act. I was trying to be authentic.”

                “Well, like you said, I never asked for a ban on pet names, so call me whatever you want.”

                “Italian pet names are so cheesy, though. They’re worse than in English.”

                “Like what?”

                “Like… _Tesoro mio, cuore mio, sei un angelo_ ,” Nico said, pressing his hands to his heart dramatically. “I can’t live without you, _dolcezza_.”

                “I’ll bet you get that third one a lot.”

                Nico snorted.

                “You probably shouldn’t tell your mom about everything we got up to during the break,” Connor said, smirking. “She wouldn’t approve of her little potato going to a burlesque.”

                “Are we even going to be able to go?” Nico pointed at the snow outside. “We could get snowed in.”

                Getting snowed in sounded really nice, actually. They could watch movies in their pajamas all day and it’d be nice and cozy. Connor was willing to bet that Nico was the perfect height for spooning. Not that he had a burning desire to do so. It always ended up an uncomfortable sweaty mess anyway.

                “I think they’ll get the plows out,” Connor said, pushing aside the fantasy. “I’m sure Mom’ll ask me to shovel the driveway soon.”

                “Your sixth sense for chores is incredibly accurate.” Beatrice had emerged from her office. “You know where the shovel is. And don’t forget the salt.”

                Connor groaned. He downed the rest of his hot chocolate and gathered his hat. It was still damp from the earlier battle in the snow.

                “I’ll help,” Nico offered.

                “Good idea,” Beatrice said. “Then you’ll get it done faster.”

                “Mom, you’re supposed to say Nico doesn’t have to because he’s a guest.”

                Beatrice smirked. “Why would you turn down an offer that would make it easier for you? You have to learn to be more practical, sweetie.”

                Nico mirrored her smirk. Connor zipped up his jacket with a heavy sigh. He was just trying to be polite. It wasn’t like it came easily to him. At least the snowfall had slowed down since they’d been outside.

                Connor got two shovels and a bag of salt from the garage. He handed Nico the shorter one. “After we clear the snow, we can put the salt down. Do you have to shovel at your house?”

                Nico shook his head. “My mom pays some kids from across the street to do it.”

                “Well, it’s pretty easy. Come on, let’s get this done quick.”

                “I thought you liked the snow,” Nico said, and it sounded like he was teasing.

                “I don’t like shoveling it.”

                They got to work on opposite ends of the driveway. Luckily the snow wasn’t thick. It was also disappointing. It wouldn’t last very long. Their snowman was marked for death. Connor could already see the cloud cover beginning to thin.

                “This is hard,” Nico said after a few minutes.

                “Bet you regret helping me now, don’t you?”

                “No. Don’t want to look like a bad boyfriend.”

                “You could always sit on the porch and watch me work,” Connor suggested, winking even though Nico had his back to him. “I could even take my shirt off.”

                “You’d die. And I’ve seen you without a shirt. There’s not a lot to look at.”

                _Oof._ “I’m gaining the muscles as we speak.” Connor grunted exaggeratedly as he tossed some snow aside. “I bet I’m strong enough to lift you.”

                Nico turned around and scanned him from head to foot. “Could you?”

                “I could try.”

                Nico went back to his shoveling. “Let’s not. You’d drop me.”

                “There’s snow everywhere. It wouldn’t hurt.”

                “No thanks.”

                “I see how it is,” Connor said, pouting. “You want to date a fireman who can bench press you fifty times.”

                Nico made a dismissive noise. “No way.”

                “I’m more partial to the dancer body. Or swimmers. Those guys are hot, right?”

                “Swimmers are hot,” Nico agreed flatly.

                Connor figured he’d exhausted this topic. He tried to think of something else. Nico had been willing to talk about his personal life earlier. Maybe they could continue with that.

                “I’m not good at telling whether someone is hot or not,” Connor admitted. “Miranda was pretty. She really lowered her standards for me.” He chuckled.

                “I don’t think so.” Nico was still working diligently on his end of the driveway. Connor thought about throwing another snowball, just to get Nico to look him in the eye while he said that.

                “Yeah, what do I know,” he said. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Usually I try not to hit on anyone who looks better than me. Man, I can’t remember the last time I had a crush on someone. Had to be before Miranda.”

                “A crush on a girl?”

                “Yeah. Have you ever liked someone before?”

                “Once.”

                “What was he like?”

                “I don’t want to talk about it,” Nico said quickly. He stabbed his shovel deep into a patch of snow. Connor didn’t think the edges were sharp enough, but he wouldn’t put it past Nico to attempt to decapitate him for asking the wrong questions.            

                A car went by, throwing up slush. Connor danced away from the sidewalk to avoid getting hit. He swore softly. Speed demons in SUVs were taking over the neighborhood. People used to slow down because of the “children at play” sign on the corner. It was still there, but there weren’t any more children in this part of the neighborhood. They’d all grown up and gone to college and moved away. Clarisse LaRue, who used to squeeze third grade heads, was currently serving overseas in the military. Connor didn’t miss her in particular (maybe a little) but he missed the familiarity.

                Back in the day, he would’ve been doing this chore with Travis. Instead he had Nico. He didn’t fill the empty space in quite the same way and it might not have been the same space in the first place, the one left empty by Travis’s eventual drift. He was here though.

                “I can’t believe my brother’s getting married,” he said out loud.

                “Is it really weird?”

                “Yeah. I didn’t think we believed in marriage. Not in high school anyway.”

                Nico hummed. This didn’t seem like a productive topic either. Connor was on an awkward roll. He needed to think of something better. So far, Nico’s love life and the impending wedding were no good. But he’d been more open about himself earlier…

                “How did you get into mortuary science?” Connor asked, putting his foot on his shovel.

                “I used to read books about it in high school. America has an interesting history when it comes to funerals and death, so I decided I wanted to get in on it. My family wasn’t happy.”

                Connor could imagine why. “Don’t you get creeped out?”

                “Not really. I’m used to it.”

                _Even after your sister died right next to you?_ Connor thought. He couldn’t imagine ever getting used to handling corpses after an experience like that. “I’d get the willies,” he said. “Especially if I had to be in a room all alone with a dead body.”

                “Why? It can’t do anything to you.”

                “Yeah, but my lizard brain doesn’t like it.” Connor shivered. It had nothing to do with the cold. “I’m getting freaked out just talking about it.”

                “You’re the one who brought it up.”

                “Seriously, how do you deal?”

                “I live like I’m already dead.”

                Connor fell silent. He pictured Nico in the lab (as best he could, since he’d never seen the lab) staring at a corpse, both of them silent and pale and unmoved. But he’d seen Nico laugh and seen him cry and he knew the dumb little nickname his mother called him. He’d held his hand and felt warmth.

“That’s dumb,” Connor said.

                “Huh?”

                “You should live like you’re alive. Otherwise, why do anything? I thought you’d know better than anyone that we only have a short time on this planet before we kick the bucket. You’re not making the most of that time if you act like it’s already over.”

                “Or maybe I figured out how not to waste it.”

                Connor glared at the patch of driveway he’d just cleared. “You waste it with me,” he grumbled.

                “Doesn’t count.”

 

                _We’re coming to pick you guys up! Get hype!!!!_

Connor sent Travis a long string of exclamation points. He and Nico had successfully cleared the driveway and a plow had come through to clear the roads. The party was still on. Connor was currently sitting cross-legged on the bed while Nico rummaged through his duffle.

                “What are people supposed to wear to these things?” he demanded.

                “You don’t have to be fancy. This is one of those times that black works.”

                “Black always works.”

                “Not in the summer.”

                Nico shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I don’t get hot like you do. It’s not like I have to go outside or anything. Damn it, they’re probably all going to judge me.”

                “For not dressing right? They’re a bunch of dudes, Nico. They’re not going to care.”

                “I just need something that blends in. If they could not look at me, that would be great.”

                “You have lots of plain black shirts.”

                “I don’t want your brother to think I don’t care about his party. He didn’t have to invite us.” Nico pulled one out of the pile. It was dark grey. “I don’t get invited places. You know that.”

                “Not a partier?”

                “Obviously not. I tried, once. It was a nightmare.” Nico reached for the hem of his shirt, then stopped. “Turn around.”

                Connor did so. (He and Travis were locked in a war to see who could send the most exclamation marks. Right now, Connor was winning.) “Theater kid parties are lit,” he said. “Everyone gets smashed and starts doing impressions. And Janie has a house with a pool table. She’s a stagehand, by the way.”

                “Sounds annoying.”

                “You know, I should’ve asked, but do you drink? You’re legal.”

                “Sometimes. If I need to.” He sighed. “Tonight, I’m probably going to need to.”

                “I’m _definitely_ going to.”

                Nico sighed again. “Just… don’t get too excited and leave me behind.”

                Connor looked over his shoulder. Nico had changed his shirt. He was staring at his hands, his dark eyebrows furrowed.

                “I’m not going to do that,” Connor said. “Are you seriously gonna be okay? You don’t have to force yourself.”

                “I’m fine. I’m getting ready.” He started to take slow and deliberate breaths as Connor’s phone buzzed.

                _We’re here and coming to get you baaaarrrbarraaaaa~~~_

“Fuck, they’re outside.” Connor went over to the window and peered through the blinds. Yep, there was a new car in their driveway. He thought he’d have a little more time, for Nico’s sake, but it looked like they had to dive in. “I’m going to ask again: will you be okay?”

                “I’ll get over it,” Nico said, which was significantly different from “okay.”

                There was no time, however, because Connor could already see Travis hopping out of the car’s passenger seat with a swagger in his step. Connor stepped back from the window and took Nico by the shoulder, guiding him out of the room.

                “Remember to smile like you mean it,” he said. “Also, you have an ID, right? Because they’re going to card you.”

                Nico glared at him. They paused in the foyer to grab their jackets. (Nico quickly swapped Connor’s gloves for his own knitted mitts. Connor hoped he’d be warm enough.)

                “What? I’m just telling you what’s going to happen.” Connor opened the front door. “ _I’m_ not the one saying you look like a teenager.”

                “Go fuck—” He stopped himself just in time.

Travis and the rest of “the guys” were on the porch. Travis even had his hand up to ring the doorbell. A grin split his face.

                “Fighting again?” he asked.

                “No,” Connor and Nico said in unison.

            Connor hadn’t been sure of what to expect. He’d met maybe one of these guys before. Travis had an entire circle of friends that Connor wasn’t a part of. The acknowledgement slid uncomfortably down Connor’s throat.

                 “Hey, Connor,” said the one he knew. “It’s been a while.”

                 “Yeah…” _What’s his name again? Shit. Come on, it’s in here somewhere._

                 “Who’s the kid?”

                  Nico’s eyes darkened. He didn’t smile as he put out a hand. “Nico. I’m Connor’s… boyfriend.”

                 Connor hoped Nico’s natural shyness didn’t undo them. He’d been more comfortable around Percy and Annabeth despite his nerves beforehand because they were familiar. These guys—who were all wearing a variation of the same flannel shirt for some reason—weren’t giving Connor much confidence either.

                 Luckily, the guy whose name Connor couldn’t remember shook hands and said, “Ah, I see. I didn’t know Connor started dating again. You didn’t get him on the rebound, did you?”

                “Um, I don’t think so?” Nico glanced at Connor.

                “We’ve only been together three months.”

                “Only?” said another guy. “Three months is pretty solid. My last girlfriend left after one.”

                Travis cut in. “He and Miranda went out for a long time. And don’t be a downer, Cam.” He turned to Connor. “You met Archer before. That’s Cam and that’s Neil. Guys, this is my little brother. And plus one.”

 _Archer!_ No wonder he couldn’t remember it. No one in real life was named Archer. Cam and Neil both stepped forward to shake hands. Cam was shorter than the other two and had sad eyes, but a friendly smile. Neil had on a striped beanie. He looked at Connor and Nico with concern.

               “You didn’t mention a ‘plus one’, Trav,” he said. Connor bristled slightly hearing the nickname in a stranger’s voice.

               “Didn’t I? I said we were picking up two more.”

               Neil shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t remember. I hope you reserved enough seats.”

               “He should’ve,” Connor said. “He invited us.”

                There was a pause. It didn’t last long, but Connor noticed it. In a script, it would’ve been written as simply “beat.” Small silences like those were important. They let dialogue sink in. They allowed the unsaid to filter through. And Connor, trained to listen to those silences, heard an awful lot from Neil.

                “Are you sure you want to come?” Neil said.

                “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” Neil said, “this doesn’t seem like it’d be up your alley.”

                Connor stared at him. Then he looked at his brother, who was looking pointedly in the other direction. Travis cleared his throat.

                “Come on, Neil. That’s not what tonight’s about,” he said. He turned to Connor. “You and Nico are still invited.”

                “I’m just _saying_ ,” Neil repeated, as if they hadn’t heard him the first time, “this is a single, straight guy thing. You probably wouldn’t be comfortable tagging along.”

                The mention of “straight” made Nico’s face go red. He stiffened, his fists clenching at his sides. Connor felt a surge of animosity towards Neil and everything he stood for. Cam and Archer at least had the decency to look chastened. Connor narrowed his eyes.

                “Are you sure you’re not the one who’d be uncomfortable if we went?” he asked.

                Travis winced.

                Neil had the gall to look affronted. “I don’t have a problem with gay guys.”                                           

                “Neil,” Travis said warningly.

                “We’ll make it easier for you then,” Connor said. He caught Nico’s wrist. “You guys have fun.”

                “Connor—”

                “Look, it’s your night, Travis. I don’t want to make things all tense and weird.”

                Travis didn’t reply. He glanced quickly at Nico, who still hadn’t offered his opinion. Then he looked back at Connor. “If that’s what you want,” he murmured. “Sorry.”

                “Nah, don’t be. We’ll be fine.” Connor drew Nico a little closer and was satisfied with the way Nico nestled against him.

                Travis gazed sadly at them as he left. Connor waved. He was trying to reassure Travis that he wasn’t mad at _him_ in particular, but the gesture felt flat with Nico glowering at his side. When everyone had piled into Neil’s SUV—because of course he drove an SUV—Connor went back inside. He pulled Nico after him.

                “You can let go of me now,” Nico said.

                Connor realized he was squeezing Nico’s wrist. He let go. “Sorry. About all of that.”

                “What are you apologizing for? You didn’t know.” Nico folded his arms and hunched his shoulders. “You’re not responsible for what your brother’s asshole friends say.”

                Connor hoped he could at least be responsible for something unfortunate happening to Neil once his gig as a groomsman was over. Hell, that gig might already be done. Travis could be thoughtless, but he wouldn’t hesitate to break ties with people who were dicks to his family. He’d put itching powder down a kid’s shirt _and_ on his gym clothes for daring to call their mom a bitch. Connor had also watched him steal someone’s bike and crash it because that kid had stolen his copy of Pokémon Yellow.

                The point was that the Stolls were petty.

                “So, um,” Connor said. “I kind of made a decision for both of us. Our night’s pretty much shot.”

                Nico shrugged. “I didn’t stop you. Not like I wanted to spend any more time with Neil than I already had.”

                “Damn it. I really wanted to go.”

                “Me too, believe it or not.” Nico sighed. “What do we do now?”

                “We could… go out by ourselves.” Connor wasn’t sure _where_ but maybe that didn’t really matter. He wouldn’t mind just driving around for a while. He could show Nico more of his hometown. Maybe they’d even swing by the abandoned house in the older part of town and look for ghosts.

                “We don’t have to go on actual dates,” Nico said. “We’re faking, remember?”

                “Yeah, but what else is there? We either hang around here for the rest of the night or do something in town. Either way, we’re going to have to hear about the awesome time Travis and the boys had tomorrow. Ugh.”

                “Not to mention whatever Katie and Annabeth are doing with the girls.”

                “Oh yeah. One of us should text Percy and see what he’s up to. The three of us could get together.”

                “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

                “Why not? He’s not doing anything.”

                Nico bit his lip. “It’d be awkward. I mean, we’re supposed to be…” He gestured between himself and Connor. “It wouldn’t really be third-wheeling, since we’re not… I just don’t think it would be good. He probably wants some time to himself anyway.”

                Connor understood. Yeah, that energy wouldn’t be great. And they’d have to rehash the earlier embarrassment. Connor sighed and took his phone out anyway. He scrolled through the contacts, searching for no one in particular. None of his university friends were anywhere near here and he didn’t have many hometown friends. Annabeth and Percy were pretty much it.

                He could text Annabeth. If he remembered correctly, the bachelorette party hadn’t started yet. Katie mentioned they would head to the karaoke place at eight. He hated to ruin her night, but she wasn’t even a bridesmaid. None of Katie’s bridesmaids were close friends of hers and neither was Katie, to be honest. She wouldn’t be losing much.

                “I’m gonna call Annabeth,” Connor said, deciding he needed to make his argument over the phone. “At least with her we don’t have to pretend.”

                Nico didn’t comment. He was studying his own phone with a hint of worry in his eyes. Connor wondered if something was wrong. He couldn’t ask, though, since he’d already dialed Annabeth.

                She answered on the third ring. “Hey. What are you calling me for? Aren’t you at the bachelor party?”

                “See, here’s the thing…” Connor explained the situation to her.

                “Oh my God,” she said. “So, you just didn’t go? I can’t blame you.”

                “Yeah, but now we’re stuck with nothing to do. It probably would’ve been smarter to ignore it and go along for the ride.” He sighed. “I’m getting left out of my own brother’s bachelor party and it’s all my fault.”

                “Not all your fault.” There was a pause. Then, “It’s Connor. Sorry, that was Katie. Hang on one second.”

                Connor waited while Annabeth talked to Katie. He couldn’t hear what they were saying—she must have covered the receiver. When she came back, her voice was brighter.

                “Connor, how do you feel about karaoke?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm back. i'm at school now. classes haven't started yet so i'm trying to fill the time with creative pursuits (writing included). as always, my schedule gets tighter during the academic year, but i stg we're about halfway through this fic and i'm going to finish it damn it. hopefully this chapter is good? it's fun and games with light angst, so enjoy~  
> edit: I FORGOT TO ADD SOMEONE DREW FANART HERE LOOK AT IT https://cuddlesilver.deviantart.com/art/What-are-you-implying-695040197

                “You didn’t have to tell her,” Connor said later, while they were driving to the karaoke place. He, Annabeth, and Nico were sitting in the wayback of Katie’s van.

                “I think I did.” Annabeth raised her eyebrows. “She’s going to be your sister-in-law. You seemed pretty upset. She’s already thinking of how to kick Neil out of the wedding party.”

                “Travis will probably beat her to it. I hope.”

                “Anyway, I don’t know what you expected by calling me. They need me to be the designated driver, so it’s not as if I could drop everything to take care of you.”

                Connor folded his arms. “I wasn’t that upset.”

                Annabeth gave him a skeptical look.

                Nico leaned around Connor to address Annabeth. “Are you sure it’s okay? We’re the only guys.”

                “Yes, but I don’t think it matters. After all, they think you two are in a committed relationship.” She scanned the van-full of women. It wasn’t a large bachelorette party, but every seat was filled, and they were loud. “You’re welcome, by the way. I told Katie to let them know _before_ we picked you up. Just in case they mistook you for strippers.”

                Connor laughed. “We’d be the worst strippers. Don’t you need muscles for that?”

                Annabeth looked them both up and down. “Good point. Don’t be nervous. They think you’re gay and the fact that you’re even willing to come along makes you one of the gang.”

                “I _am_ gay,” Nico said. Then both he and Annabeth looked at Connor.

                “Alright, cut it out. What do you want from me?”

                They looked away. Connor wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or more worried. What was their deal? It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he was lying about his sexuality for nefarious purposes.

                “I’m sorry we don’t have party favors for you guys,” Katie called from the front. The rest of the women had matching t-shirts and plastic beads—all pink. Katie was wearing a plastic tiara with a veil on it.

                “We’re good,” Nico said. He looked like he might break out in hives if something pink touched him. Annabeth had offered to share her beads, but he’d refused. (Connor, who didn’t have the same hang-ups, was wearing some like a bracelet.)

                They’d had a quick introduction to the bridesmaids earlier. Lauren was sitting in front with Katie, while Drew and Amy were in the middle. They were all exclusively Katie’s friends, so Annabeth was in the same boat as Connor and Nico. But they’d been given a hearty welcome. (Except for Drew, who thought it was a bad idea to bring boys along at all.) The act had passed muster with them easier than it had his family. They’d never met before, so they’d immediately accepted Nico as his boyfriend.

                Connor hoped Travis was having fun, despite the drama earlier. Travis deserved to have fun. This was his wedding and bachelor party. Connor had learned to accept a long time ago that Travis did things without him and Travis had accepted the same of Connor. The only thing they weren’t allowed to do was keep secrets. That rule wasn’t holding up so well right now.

               

                It was not, as Connor had been expecting, a karaoke bar. He’d been picturing a large, public room full of tables with a stage. Instead, this place offered private, sound proofed rooms. As soon as Katie mentioned it, Connor felt relief roll off Nico in waves. Their only audience would be each other. Connor was a tad disappointed. It was easier to play to a crowd, especially when his singing voice could best be described as “average.” On a stage, he would’ve been able to dance around and pull weird faces. He didn’t think a room would allow him the same freedom.

                But they could order drinks and have them brought straight to the room. So that was a plus.

                “I didn’t think there were places like this in the U.S.,” Annabeth said.

                Katie shrugged. “Yeah, they’re kind of few and far between. The reviews said a lot of the songs on the machine are in Korean, but they have stuff in English, too.”

                Lauren was already flipping through the catalog. She squealed happily when she came across “Party in the U.S.A.” She grabbed Drew’s arm and said, “Oh my God, do you remember this? I used to sing along every time it was on the radio.”

                “Super nostalgic,” Amy said with a sigh. She turned to Connor. “What kind of music are you into?”

                Connor shrugged. He listened to everything. Some might call it bad taste, but he thought of himself as open-minded.

                “What about you, Nico? What should we put you down for?”

                “I don’t—” Nico started to say, then stopped. “Is that ‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’?”

                Connor almost swallowed his tongue trying not to laugh. He settled for nudging Nico in the ribs and mouthing “emo” at him. He got a hard nudge back. To his surprise, however, Nico let the girls sign him up for a song.

                The room had a small table and two couches. The couches were made of pleather—probably easier to clean spills off of—and the cushions were firm. So firm that Connor could bounce on them like a weak trampoline until both Annabeth and Nico stared at him.

                When someone came around to take their orders, everyone ordered drinks as well as food. Nico looked overwhelmed for a second. He was holding a menu, but he wasn’t really looking at it.

                “Need a few more minutes?” Connor asked. “The girls are getting enough to share.”

                “I’ve never had some of this stuff,” Nico muttered. “What’s daikon?”

                “Don’t ask me. It comes free with wings.”

                Annabeth sighed. “It’s a kind of radish. You’ve had Asian food before; you should know that.”

                Connor had never voluntarily eaten a radish in his entire life. “We’ll just share,” he said, taking the menu and handing it back to the server. “I’ll chip in for a pitcher or whatever, Katie.”

                The server glanced at Nico. He seemed apologetic. He probably wasn’t much older than them and was already regretting what he was about to ask. “Sorry, but can I see your ID?”

                While Nico was getting his wallet, Connor whispered, “See, what did I say?”

                “Um, can I get yours, too?”

                Connor decided now was a good time to shut up. Nico smirked at him as he took out his driver’s license. He also resolved to put a moratorium on drawing attention to Nico’s stature or teasing him about it.

                As soon as they had food and alcohol, Katie and the bridesmaids put on the music. Connor sat back while they cycled through early 2000s pop hits. They even got Annabeth to join them. He almost forgot Nico had agreed to participate until _Panic!_ popped up on the setlist.

                Nico seemed to have forgotten as well. He froze with a fry halfway to his mouth.

                “Come on, Nico!” Katie said. She gestured for him to get up. “I’ll do it with you. I love this song.”

                “Um…”

                “Do it,” Connor whispered. “She said she’ll do it with you.”

                Nico shook his head. “I can’t. Earlier… I was just joking.”

                _Like hell. You’re chickening out._ “I know you know all the words.”

                “Shut up. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Nico looked apologetically at Katie. It looked like she understood.

                Katie picked up the microphone. “Okay. I’ll sing it for you.”

                “That’s not fair,” Drew said, folding her arms. “Everyone else did it.”

                “Nico’s shy,” Katie said and that was enough. She hit play on the screen.

                Connor watched Katie for the first five seconds, then turned his gaze to Nico. The moment Katie started singing, Nico started mouthing the words. Not super noticeably. His lips were moving and they were matching the rhythm of the lyrics. Connor had been right. He _did_ know all the words. He was actually a beat ahead of Katie.

                They were headed for the drop. Connor grabbed Nico’s arm. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t have time. Nico’s eyes flickered to him. Connor didn’t know what expression he made exactly. It was dark in the room and it only lasted a second. He wished he knew what went through Nico’s head that moment, because the next second, Nico was on his feet and joining Katie in the chorus.

                And it turned out that Nico could sing. That was a plot twist Connor hadn’t been prepared for. He wasn’t amazing. He hadn’t taken lessons or anything, that was obvious. However, he could carry a tune and stay on it and his voice didn’t crack. Connor sat there in utter shock for a minute. He felt offended that he hadn’t realized. Shit, he hadn’t even bothered to ask. Nico never would’ve told him on his own. Now he had to process _this._

                Katie and Nico finished the song with a bang. Katie gave Nico a high-five. He was breathless and… smiling? Genuinely smiling. It felt like a kick to the stomach. Connor wished he had known earlier that the way to Nico’s heart was through 2000’s era pop punk songs. He guessed he’d had hints. Ones he didn’t bother investigating.

                “You sing?” were the first two words out of Connor’s mouth when Nico sat down beside him.

                “No.”

                “But you…” Connor ran out of brain power and gestured at the place where Nico and Katie had just been belting out “I Write Sins Not Tragedies.” He needed to know if Nico sang when he wasn’t around. Did he do it in the shower? What about in the car?

                “I’d have to sing a lot to say I sing,” Nico said. He hunched in on himself. “I don’t usually do it front of other people. After I failed choirboy auditions…”

                “You were almost a choirboy. Jesus Christ.”

                “Don’t start getting ideas. It wasn’t ‘almost.’ That’s being way too generous.”

                “I learn something new about you every day,” Connor said, pouring himself a drink from the communal pitcher.

                Nico returned his attention to his fries. “And I learn the same things about _you_. When are you going to show me something new, Connor?”

                Connor drank instead of answering. What was Nico trying to get at? He didn’t like the thought of Nico examining him. Like a body on a table. His brain ricocheted off that topic and hurried to the safety of wondering how Travis’s bachelor party was going.

                Watching the girls laughing and having a good time, Connor realized that he didn’t mind being excluded from the burlesque outing. Nico seemed more comfortable here. He’d actually _joined in_. Now he was quietly eating and drumming his toes in time to the music. It wasn’t the alcohol; Nico had taken one sip, made a face, and put it down. (“Too much sugar.”) He was genuinely having fun and it was doing something to Connor’s chest. Tightening it.

                Annabeth slid over. “Don’t drink too much,” she warned. “You don’t want to do something stupid.”

                “Like what? I already made a scene with one of Travis’s groomsmen.”

                “You know what I mean.” And then she looked pointedly at Nico, who was watching Lauren and Amy perform a stirring cover of “Firework.”

                The implication dropped on Connor’s head like a lead pipe. He almost dropped his glass but managed to transfer it to the table just in time. He laughed—more of a nervous laugh than a genuine one, but whatever.

                “That’s funny,” he said. “We’re not actually dating, Annabeth.”

                “I know, and that’s why I think you should come clean before…”

                “Before what?”

                “Before you do something to get yourself hurt.”

                Connor stared at her. Had she really just said what he thought she said? She wasn’t meeting his eyes. It reminded him of that conversation in her car, the promise he’d made. _Even if I don’t know who I am now, I’ll find myself again. And I’ll listen to you next time._ It wasn’t the same, but he was thinking of it anyway. She was looking out for him. Trying to, anyway. Except he didn’t know what she was talking about. Was he going to get hurt because of the lies or because of…?

                “You have to stop,” Annabeth said as the song ended, “otherwise you’re going to bury yourself neck deep.”

                “I need a break,” Drew announced, flopping onto a couch. She fanned herself and picked up her drink. “At least I don’t have to feel bad about skipping cardio tomorrow.”

                “Karaoke, the new fitness craze,” Amy joked.

                Katie turned to Connor with a huge smile on her face. “When are you going to perform for us?”

                “You hogged the machine, so I didn’t get a chance to pick a song. And you’re all better than me anyway.”

                “Sounds like you’re trying to weasel out,” Lauren said.

                “No way,” Connor said. “I’m just saying it’s not going to be as top quality. I can be _funny,_ but it won’t be good.”

                “Do you actually not want to be the center of attention for once?” Nico said. “I’m shocked. You made _me_ do it.”

                “I said I’d do it. This is my warning that I can’t belt out showtunes like Hugh Jackman, so don’t expect any of that. Plus, you should be thanking me for that. Otherwise you would’ve been miserable for the rest of the night.”

                Nico snorted. Connor would’ve offered an additional comeback, but Annabeth cut him off.

“For a couple, you two aren’t very affectionate,” she said.

                _What the hell is she trying to pull?_ Connor raised both eyebrows. “What are you implying?”

                “You’re friendly enough, but you and Nico were never that close at school. It’s surprising that you’re suddenly into each other enough to go to a wedding together.”

                “We were keeping it low key, remember?” Connor said. He’d started jogging his leg without realizing and made himself stop.  

                “Fair point. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t seem very comfortable with each other.” She cut her eyes at him. “I’m not the only one who noticed, right?”

                “Annabeth,” Katie said with a laugh. “You’re being weird. Let them be.”

                “I just think honesty is important.” Annabeth sipped her drink.

                “So… what? You think they’re faking?”

                _I thought you were our friend,_ Connor thought. She was trying to make him fess up. To protect him or whatever. Then he realized he’d never made Annabeth promise not to tell Katie. _Shit._

“He’s a Stoll,” Annabeth said. “You know what he’s like. He loves to perform.”

                Katie laughed again, nervously this time. “That’s kind of mean.”

                “I agree,” Connor said. He was trying to send Annabeth a message with his eyes. (The message was NO, in capital neon letters.)

                Lauren chimed in. “Annabeth has a point. They tagged along because the guys thought they were too gay to go with them. Maybe they’re faking it to hang out with us and score dates?”

                Nico made a face.

                “Oh, come on,” Katie started to say, but Drew jumped in. She was pointing at him with her straw.

                “He used to date Miranda, remember? Didn’t you say they broke up last year? This guy has gone out with girls before.”

                “One girl,” Connor muttered. _And I’ve been wondering if I was ever attracted to her._

                “Excuse me,” Nico said. “Who are you again?”

                Drew looked stunned. Annabeth seemed a little surprised, too. Connor was struggling not show how startled he was by Nico speaking up. He had been worried that Nico was going to run from the room.

                “I didn’t mean anything by it,” Drew said.

                “Yeah, and I’m the pope. Just leave us alone. If you didn’t want us here, you could’ve just said.” And with that, he got up and left the room.

                “Awk-ward,” Lauren sang.

                Katie turned to her so fast her ponytail whipped her in the face. “Shut up. This isn’t funny. I’m sorry, Connor.”

                Connor shrugged. It wasn’t Katie’s fault. He looked at Annabeth. She seemed chastened. When she met his gaze, he could read the regret in her eyes.

                “I’m sorry,” she said.

                “It’s okay. I’m going to get Nico.” He put down his drink and left the same way Nico had. He didn’t have to look far. Nico was leaning against the wall in the hallway, his hands in his pockets.

                “I kind of blew up in there,” he said. “Sorry.”

                “Wow, everyone’s apologizing to me today. It’s not as satisfying as I thought it’d be.”

                Nico scuffed the floor. “Why did she have to bring it up?”

                He didn’t want to get into what Annabeth had said earlier. “I guess she’s trying to do what she thinks is best. Annabeth has one of those strict moral codes I’ve heard so much about.”

                “Should… should we be playing it up more?” Nico looked up. “Some of them were onto us.”

                Connor shook his head. “They’ll know for sure we’re faking then. Our relationship isn’t defined by PDA. Come here.” He held out his hand.

                Nico hesitated, then took it. Connor led him back into the karaoke room.              

Connor wasn’t usually that self-conscious, but after a few drinks, the last walls around his inhibitions fell away. So, as long as he had the mic, he was going to make a full performance of it. That meant dancing, winking at his “audience”, and generally playing it up. He was currently killing “Come Into My World.”

                On, “take these eyes that were meant for watching over you” Connor pointed at his own eyes then Nico’s. He took it a step further on “these hands that were meant to touch and feel you” by running his fingers along Nico’s jaw, all the way to his chin. While the girls were falling over themselves laughing at Connor’s imitation of Kylie Minogue’s breathy singing voice, Nico’s expression of sardonic amusement changed. Connor felt an acute sensation of satisfaction as Nico’s head tilted up to follow the motion of his hand. There was a softness in Nico’s eyes that hadn’t been there before.

                After the song was over and everyone had applauded, Connor fell onto the seat beside Nico, giddy and a little dizzy from the alcohol. “How was that?” he asked.

                “You were good.” Nico patted his shoulder.

                “Mmm.” Connor couldn’t have asked for more. On impulse, he grabbed Nico’s hand and kissed the back.

                Nico seemed to be humoring him. He gently extricated his hand from Connor’s grasp and smiled in a slightly strained—but not forced—way. “Don’t get carried away,” he said. “Drink some water.”

                Connor did as he asked. Katie was pushing Annabeth to sing the next song. Despite looking incredibly uncomfortable, Annabeth took the mic and started scrolling through songs. It was slightly quieter in the room. It was sheer luck that Connor heard Nico’s ringtone.

                “Oh,” Nico said, fishing it out. “It’s my mom.”

                “Weird. Why is she calling you so late?”

                “I don’t know. It might be an emergency.” Nico glanced up apologetically. “I have to take this.”

                “It’s fine. Take as long as you need.”

                After Nico left, Annabeth started her round. She noticed Nico leaving and made eye contact with Connor. Did she know something he didn’t? However, the thought was soon pushed out of Connor’s head by Katie passing him another glass.

 

                Nico never came back into the room. It took Connor a while to worry about it. He was having fun and was soon over the edge of “buzzed” and deep into “smashed.” He noticed when the girls’ energy started to flag. Once there was less noise and off-key singing, Connor was able to identify the missing person.

                A flash of panic hit him. Maybe something had happened. Connor stood up so fast he nearly knocked over their empty glasses. He was prepared to run out and start searching, forgetting that he was wearing Katie’s plastic tiara and one of the girls’ jackets.

                “What’s the matter?” Katie asked.

                “Nico. He left a while ago and he isn’t back yet.”

                Annabeth checked her phone. “He might still be outside. We should be heading back anyway. It’s getting late.”

                The cold night air was a welcome change of pace. Connor felt less wobbly as soon as they opened the doors. He felt even less wobbly when he spotted Nico pacing the sidewalk outside with his phone pressed to his ear. _He’s really been talking to his mom this whole time?_

Nico spotted the party coming out. He said something into the phone and hung up. “Is it over?” he asked. “I wasn’t keeping track of time.”

                “It’s alright,” Katie said. She yawned. “Annabeth, you can get us home, right? I’m exhausted.”

                “Sure.”

                Everyone started climbing into Katie’s van. Connor lingered. He wanted to know if Nico and/or his mom was okay. “There’s no emergency, right? All good, right?”

                “She just wanted to touch base.”

                “Oh thank God.” Connor flapped his arms. “I was scared I had to ship you back. Can’t drive. Tonight or tomorrow. We gotta FedEx you to D.C.”

“You’re a mess,” Nico said, laughing. “How much did you have?”

                “I don’t know. I’m pretty drunk.”

                Nico reached up for the tiara. For a brief second, Connor thought he was going to take it off, but all he did was adjust it. Then he rearranged the veil so it hung gracefully down the back of Connor’s head. He smiled with such genuine warmth that Connor was startled.

                “Looks good on you,” Nico said. “ _Sei molto bello._ ”

                Connor only understood one word of that, but it was the one word that mattered. Nico had never bothered to call him handsome before.

                Annabeth had to ruin the moment by leaning in. “Stop flirting.”

                “Excuse you. We’re a couple.”

                “No, you’re not.” Annabeth rolled her eyes. “If I promise not to pressure you again, will you tell the truth on your own?”

                “Never.” Connor swayed. Nico put a hand against his side to steady him. “My fake relationship is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

                Nico stifled a laugh. Annabeth snatched the tiara from Connor’s head.

                “This is for the bride,” she said.

                “Katie said I could have it.”

                Annabeth clearly did not believe him. She turned to catch up with Katie and the rest of the bridal party. Nico and Connor lingered behind. Nico hadn’t let go of Connor yet.

                Connor pouted. “She said I could have it,” he whined.

                “You can get it back later if you still want it.”

 

                It was a big car, but Connor and Nico still ended up crushed in the wayback. Nico, being the smallest, was in the middle. Drew had passed out the second her seatbelt was on and was now slumped to Nico’s right.

                “I’m going to drop you off first, Connor,” Annabeth said. “Is that okay?”

                “Sure,” Nico answered for him.

                Connor didn’t remember much of the ride home. Katie and the rest of the bridal party sang along to the radio a few times (they weren’t done singing, it seemed). At one point, Nico put a hand on his leg and whispered, “Do you feel okay?”

                “I’m good. I haven’t puked since I was a freshman.”

                Annabeth pulled up outside Connor’s house. It turned out to be more difficult getting out of the car than he’d thought. Connor’s long limbs combined with severely dampened motor skills meant nearly falling on everyone as they tried to leave. Luckily, everyone was in a good mood and just laughed when he almost elbow dropped Lauren.

                Nico held him up as they crossed the front lawn. On a flat surface, Connor felt fine, but he didn’t want Nico to let go of him. He actually played it up a bit, crossing his feet on purpose.

                “Knock it off,” Nico whispered as they climbed the steps. “This is harder than it looks.”

                “But you look cute helping your drunk boyfriend make it to his front door in one piece.”

                “You’re honestly not that different drunk from sober. Keys?”

                “Back pocket. Hang on, I—”

                Nico reached into the back pocket of Connor’s jeans and fished out his key ring.

                “Hey, I had it,” Connor said. “And you just grabbed my ass.”

                “As if. Even if I did—fake boyfriend. I have a right.”

The girls were still waiting in the car. They hadn’t driven off yet. Connor guessed that Annabeth was waiting to see that they got inside safely. Nico still had an arm around Connor to keep him upright. He looked from the car and back up to Connor.

                “Want to prove a point?” Nico asked.

                “Boy do I.”

Nico rose up onto his toes. He had Connor’s face cupped in his hands. His breath was warm and heavily scented with alcohol. “Close your eyes,” Nico said.

                Connor did as he asked. He felt Nico coming closer. Nico’s mouth brushed tentatively against his, then closed the distance. It took Connor a moment to process what was happening. Nico was kissing him. Chastely, but tenderly, the gentlest pressure on Connor’s lips.

                “How was that?” Nico asked as he pulled back.

                _Fucking wonderful,_ Connor wanted to say. Instead, he managed to get enough of a hold of himself to say, “Good. I think that was pretty convincing.”

                “Whoo!” Katie waved at them from the passenger seat. “Get it!”

                Nico turned red. He quickly fitted the house keys into the lock. Connor heard the girls laughing as the car pulled away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm back again. life is stressful. also i had to rewrite some stuff for a later chapter. sorry we're not at the wedding just yet; it's coming next chapter~ (this fic is so long askdfjdofds)

                Connor didn’t remember how he got into bed. When he woke up, he was lying on his side, still mostly dressed except for his shoes. His mouth tasted terrible. He realized, as his brain began to register things in the room, that Nico was pressed against his back, with an arm draped over Connor’s middle. His breath was warm on Connor’s neck.

                Connor extracted himself carefully. Nico didn’t stir. Though the throbbing in his head wasn’t too severe, Connor winced anyway as he stood. He rubbed his temple. There was probably a whole bottle of aspirin in the kitchen cupboard.

                As he walked down the hallway to the living room, Connor got the sense that he wasn’t the only person awake. He poked his head into the kitchen and called, “Mom?”

                “No, it’s me.” Travis was standing by the coffee machine. “I didn’t expect you to be up.”

                “Dude, what are you doing here?”

                Travis sighed and stared at the wall. “I needed a minute at home, before everything changes.”

                “Cold feet?” Connor asked, half joking and half serious (seriously _worried_ ).

                “No. The church could burn down and I’d still marry Katie tomorrow. I was just feeling homesick, I guess. Needed some time with the family before everything gets public.”

                Connor helped himself to the aspirin and a glass of water. He didn’t feel very sick, but he took small sips anyway. He wondered how Nico was feeling. Connor hadn’t really been able to judge Nico’s state when they got home. (As far as he knew, Nico hadn’t joined them in drinking, plus there was that whole time he was out of the room. If anything, he was probably exhausted from all the social interaction.)

                Travis added some milk and sugar to his coffee. He sat down at the tiny kitchen table. Connor joined him. The wooden chair creaked as he sat. Familiar. Comforting.

“I’m sorry about last night,” Travis said. “Neil was being a fucking douchebag. We had a long talk about whether he still wanted to be my groomsman.”

                “It’s really not a problem. We had a great time with the girls and I still have the headache to prove it.”

                “Ha. You’re lucky I gave you a buffer day. If you got smashed before my wedding...”

                Connor shrugged. “You’d do the same if I was the one getting married. I was going through an existential crisis, man. You’re, like, a real adult now.”

                “Yeah.” Travis slurped his coffee, turning to stare out the window. “It is pretty weird. Feels like we were thirteen yesterday.”

                “Remember when you fell off your Razor scooter and fucked up both kneecaps? And then I went to tell Mom what happened but I was crying a lot because I thought you were gonna die from blood loss?”

                “Dude. If you start reliving childhood memories with me, I’m going to jam this spoon under your tongue so you can’t talk.” Travis waved the spoon threateningly. “Because if you do that, I’m going to cry, and I can’t cry now because I’m going to cry at the wedding.”

                Connor chuckled. He didn’t get why people cried at weddings, especially ones that weren’t their own. He could only think of a few times he’d choked up in a public place and most of those were in movie theaters.

                “Mom’s gonna bawl her eyes out,” Connor said.

                “I’m going to try not to make eye contact.”

                They each enjoyed their respective drinks in silence for a few minutes. A patch of sunlight stretched across the floor. Connor knew he should have some speech prepared—either for now or the reception tomorrow—but his mind was blank. It was easy not to think for a while.

                Connor didn’t really hear Nico come in. He sort of felt a prickle on the back of his neck and turned around. Nico leaned into the kitchen, his hair mussed and still muffled with sleep.

                “Oh,” he said. “When I woke up, you were gone and I…” He trailed off, seeming to notice Travis was there. A hint of red appeared in his cheeks. “Morning.”

                “C’mere,” Connor said, holding out an arm.

                Nico was delirious enough that he walked right into it, letting Connor wrap the arm around his waist. He even draped his own arm across Connor’s shoulders. It occurred to Connor—at the back of his mind—that he hadn’t really done it for Travis’ sake.

                “Sleep okay?” Connor asked.

                “Once I got you to lie still, yeah.”

                Travis chuckled. “When we were freshman I once had to piggyback him upstairs from a party and I swear to God, he wouldn’t stop wriggling. If I didn’t have lightning fast reflexes, I’d be an only child right now.”

                “That feels like forever ago,” Connor said.

                “What did I tell you about saying that shit?”

                “You’re the one who started it.” Connor stuck his tongue out. “You know I’m graduating soon, right? I can be emotional, too.”

                “See, you can tell Connor’s the younger brother because he’s competitive,” Travis said. “We did pretty much everything together and he still tried to one-up me. He actually tried to collect more Yu-Gi-Oh cards than me, even though we shared a deck.”

                “You played Yu-Gi-Oh?” Nico asked.

                “When Travis let me have the duel disk, yeah.”

                Travis rolled his eyes. “What about you, Nico? Any sibling rivalries in your family?”

                The mood immediately darkened. Nico slid out of Connor’s grasp. He wandered over to the coffee machine without a word.

                “Did I say the wrong thing?” Travis whispered.

                “Um…” Connor said, just as Nico said, “I’m a younger brother. My sister died, though.”

                “Oh. I’m sorry for your loss. How did it happen?”

                “Car accident.” Nico returned to the table with a full cup. “We didn’t share a lot of stuff. She was into different things than me. Like archery.”

                “I’m guessing you didn’t play any sports.”

                Nico shook his head.

                “Well, we didn’t either, so your sister has all three of us beat. We tried to do track once but it didn’t work out. Running is only fun when you’re trying to get away from the police.”

                Nico’s eyebrows shot up. Connor glared briefly at Travis, then said, “He’s not serious. We never ran from the police.”

                “Because by then we had bikes,” Travis said with a devious smile.

                “You’re going to scare him off, Trav.”

                “He’s been with you for three months. He’s not going to run now.” Travis turned to Nico. “I’ll bet Connor was a departure for you. He doesn’t seem like your type.”

                Nico looked at Connor, who could only shrug. He had no idea what Travis meant. Maybe he was implying that Connor wasn’t emo enough.

                “My type…” Nico said. “My type is unattainable.”

                “Ouch,” Travis said, grinning at Connor.

                Connor laughed it off. “I don’t mind. I’m the winner here.”

                “Yeah…” Nico said slowly. He curled his hands around the coffee mug.

                The conversation died down. It wasn’t necessarily awkward. Nico’s natural inclination toward silence made it feel natural. Even so, it was hard for Connor not to start chattering nervously about the wedding. He didn’t know how Travis could sit calmly across from him the day before he was going to become someone’s husband.

                Nico seemed to read the room, however, and once he’d drained his cup, he disappeared like a ghost. How did someone move so fast and so silently at the same time? If Nico ever wanted to go into the assassin business, he’d be perfect. Then he’d never run out of bodies to embalm.

                “How did you figure out she was the One?” Connor blurted. “I’m not saying she’s not, I just—”

                “There isn’t really a One. You know that, Con. Divorce wouldn’t exist if there was.”

                “That’s not what I mean. How did you know it was real? You guys dated forever, but so did me and Miranda.”

                “Does this have to do with Nico?”

                “Kind of,” Connor said. _Maybe. A lot of it has to do with me._ “I’m not going to propose to him in the middle of your wedding, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

                “Good, because Katie would strangle you with a tablecloth if you did.”

                Connor could picture that. He touched his neck.

                “You don’t have to think about that stuff yet,” Travis went on. “There’s no rush. I know things were weird with Miranda. Before and after you broke up. Think of that like a test run. That way, you’ll know better with the next person you fall for.”

                “Well…” Connor said. He forced the words out. “I don’t know if I ‘fell’ for Miranda.”

                “That’s okay. You learned something by _not_ being in love with her. Even if you just thought it was the real deal, it wasn’t a waste of your time or anything.”

                Connor tilted his cup back and forth, watching the last dregs of coffee swish around.

                “Are you happy with Nico?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Then don’t worry. Think about all the heavy stuff later. As for now, just enjoy yourself. Tell him you love him at the wedding reception,” Travis said with a grin.

                Connor giggled nervously. “I’m not gonna do that.”

                “Real talk, you’re a good influence on him. I remember he used to be gloomy all the time. And you smile at him a lot. I don’t know how you did it.”

                _I got him out of an awkward family holiday by putting him in another one._ “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

 

                After Travis left, Connor sat around sobering up. Nico spent a long time in their room. Connor wondered if he was on another phone call with his mom. There was definitely something up when he re-emerged. He didn’t say anything about it. Aside from the occasional snarky comment during the news, he didn’t talk at all.

                _Nerves,_ Connor thought. Tomorrow, they were going to have get dressed up and interact with the extended Stoll family. Which would not be pleasant for Nico at all.

                Connor tried to breach the wall. “What did your mom say last night?”

                “She just wanted to know how I was doing.”

                “Did she call again?”

                “No.”

                For the sake of keeping things as un-awkward as possible, Connor didn’t ask him anymore about it. Nico deserved some privacy. They’d been practically joined at the hip since they’d arrived.

                Beatrice got up and said good morning. She had a bowl of cereal on the couch beside them. Nico answered her questions while keeping said answers as short as possible. (The party was good, he had everything he needed for the wedding, and Connor hadn’t gotten alcohol poisoning.) Beatrice switched to updating Connor about some of their relatives. Apparently, some of the cousins weren’t on speaking terms anymore and Connor would have to keep his wits about him to avoid getting dragged into the conflict.

                “Um,” Nico said, once the chit-chat lulled, “is there anything we’re supposed to do today?”

                 “Not that I know of.” Beatrice got up and carried her bowl into the kitchen. “Big plans?”

                “I have to do some Christmas shopping. Without Connor,” Nico added.

                _Oh, the Christmas present._

Beatrice lifted an eyebrow. (She smirked at Connor and all the features that she’d passed on to her sons revealed themselves in her face.) “Well, if you need a ride, sweetie, I’d be happy to give you one,” she said to Nico.

                There it was, the inevitable pet name. Nico flinched. It wasn’t super noticeable. Connor mouthed “little potato” at him. He didn’t know what went through Nico’s head just then, but Connor guessed he’d almost lost the right to a present.

                Nico regained his composure. “That’s okay. Percy said he’d take me.”

                “He did?” Connor asked. “When?”

                “I texted him earlier. You and Annabeth went shopping by yourselves, so it’s fair if we get to go, too.”

                Connor agreed that it was fair. He just felt weird about Nico leaving him on his own. He was afraid Nico was retreating within himself in preparation for the wedding. That was no good. He needed to be as open as possible if they were going to comfortably pull off the couple act with so many witnesses.

                “As long as you don’t let Percy pick my gift then it’s cool,” Connor said. He wouldn’t deny that Percy tried his hardest when getting people presents—if he remembered—but tended to play it safe.

                “Do you think I’m an idiot? Of course, I won’t.” Nico checked his phone. “He says he’s on his way. When I get back, stop Connor from seeing what I got him.”

                “Hey! I wouldn’t cheat!”

                Nico only smirked knowingly at him.

               

                Percy arrived ten minutes later. He was bundled up to hell and back, but he kept shivering anyway. “Fuck winter,” he grumbled. “The only thing good about it is Christmas.”

                “Nice to see you, too,” Connor said.

                “You agree with me, though, right?” Percy shook his hands out to get the blood flowing to his fingers. “Global warming is actually making the summers hotter and the winters colder. It’s not natural. I almost can’t wait for half the world to be underwater. Then maybe people will start giving a shit about tossing their garbage in it.”

                “Only if we evolve gills first.”

                “Dude, I’ll fund whatever mad scientist wants to start bioengineering us to breathe underwater.” He smiled. “So, where’s your _boyfriend?_ ”

                Connor snorted. “Seriously, Jackson? You’re gonna tease me?”

                “What goes around comes around. You locked me and Annabeth in a closet once.”

                “You should be thanking me. Otherwise you would’ve never fessed up!”

                Nico appeared from around the corner of the hallway. He was wearing a scarf Connor was sure didn’t belong to him. (Beatrice must’ve wrestled it onto him.) He kept fussing with it.

                “Hey,” he said. “Thanks for taking me.”

                “No problem. You ready to go?”

                Nico nodded. He gave up with the scarf. It was red and black buffalo plaid, the ugliest of all the plaids. Nico didn’t make it work, exactly, but Connor thought he was kind of cute.

                “I’ll see you later,” Nico said. He put a hand on Connor’s shoulder to drag him down and kiss his cheek. “No peeking, remember?”

                “I remember. Have fun.”

                As he watched them leave, Connor couldn’t help feeling… something. He sat by the window once they’d gone through the front door. Percy said something to Nico and Nico answered with something that made Percy smile. Connor touched his cheek. He didn’t know what he was thinking.

                _I’m the winner here._ Except he wasn’t, because it was all fake. Connor shook his head. There weren’t winners and losers in the first place. He’d said it as a joke. Just a joke.

 

                It was hours before Nico came home. Connor felt his absence more than he’d expected. He ended up being a vegetable for most of the day. His mom was around, but it wasn’t like he could talk to her the same as he could with Nico. On a different day, he would’ve texted Annabeth. The only reason he didn’t do so now was because he’d bothered her enough last night.

                He wondered what was taking so long, then remembered it was Nico and Percy. They weren’t regimented like Annabeth. Nico would probably want to get done as soon as possible, but Percy would take his sweet time going into every store and finding weird stuff. Connor hoped Nico was keeping his temper in check. Tensions always ran high during holiday shopping.

                Connor had been through a few holidays with Miranda, and the shopping had always ended in an argument. Not for the reasons most people thought, actually. He remembered one fight that turned into a shouting match in the middle of the Target, over what he couldn’t recall—though it was probably inconsequential. There’d been a time when Connor assumed all couples were like that. Until Katie told him that she and Travis had never caused a scene like that, and they definitely didn’t argue the whole way home after those outings, even when both of them were dog-tired and frustrated.

                Nico returned halfway through a re-run of _Rudolph_. Connor wasn’t really watching it. He looked up when the front door opened, admitting Nico and a couple of nondescript shopping bags. He was still wearing the scarf.

                “Were you just waiting here the whole time?” Nico asked.

                “Who says I was waiting?” Connor retorted. “Just because the living room’s right next to the door…” He nodded at the bags. “What are you gonna do with those?”

                “I’m giving them to your mom to hide.”

                “Smart move, as long as one of those isn’t for my mom.”

                “No, I’m putting hers under the bed.”

                Nico had this whole gift-giving business well thought-out. Connor scratched under his chin. “How was it overall? When Annabeth and I went, it was pretty crowded.”

                “It was fine.”

                “Just fine?”

                “Yeah. One second while I get rid of these.” He hurried off.

                Connor thought it might’ve been his imagination, but Nico sounded tense. _Stress,_ Connor reasoned. The wedding was tomorrow, and he’d braved Christmas shopping. He was probably worn out. When Nico joined him in the living room again—minus the ugly scarf—Connor said, “Is there anything else you need before the wedding?”

                “I’m good. A little nervous, but good.” Nico ran his fingers through his hair, briefly lifting it off his forehead before letting it settle. “Actually, I’m more worried about your Christmas present. I had no idea what to get.”

                “Chances are I’m going to like it. Or I’ll fake liking it.”

                “Yeah, you’re good at faking.”

                Connor huffed. He knew it wasn’t really an insult. Why did it still sting?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my god it's finally here. this is so ridiculous and cheesy i'm sorry >////<

                Connor didn’t recognize himself in the mirror. _It’s the suit._ He could never be a businessman. He felt less like he was about to go to his brother’s wedding and more like an extra in a play about office life. Beatrice had called the color “dove,” which Connor took as high fashion code for grey.

                “This is weird,” Nico said. “You’re weird.”

                Connor looked at him over his shoulder. “Is it the bow tie? I thought it was a good look.”

                “It’s the everything.”

                “I look bad, huh?”

                “I, uh, I didn’t say that.” Nico twisted a piece of his hair. “We don’t look like a couple. Everyone else is going to be matching.”

                “It’s not prom. We don’t have to coordinate my cummerbund with your corsage.”

                Nico sneered. “Are you done looking at yourself, Narcissus? Your mom said to be ready by now.”

                Connor gave himself a final once-over, then followed Nico the living room. Beatrice was waiting for them, all dressed up and holding her camera. Connor had actually been anticipating this. Their mom had hauled out some form of recording device for every significant event in their lives. (The only issue was that while she was a good photographer, she wasn’t great at organizing, so their physical photos lived in cardboard boxes in a closet instead of albums.)

“Look at you two,” Beatrice said warmly. “Do you mind if I take a picture?”

                Nico shifted uncomfortably, but he didn’t object. Connor put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a reassuring squeeze. (They had to stand like that for a few minutes while Beatrice changed angles and turned the camera on its side—in case anything was happening to their left and right.) Connor almost missed Nico’s hand settling against the small of his back.

                “Oh,” Connor said, glancing down at him.

                “Thought it looked better. Like I’m into you.”

                Beatrice luckily didn’t hear this. She beamed at them. “Alright, I’ll stop holding you up. Next thing you know I’ll be recreating your prom photos.”

                “We should _totally_ do that,” Connor said, thinking of his earlier comment. “You can get me, Travis, Nico, and Katie on the stairs like old times.”

                “I’m sure the professional photographer will be more than happy to take your request.” Beatrice kissed him on both cheeks. She smelled like make-up. “Seeing you and Travis grown up like this is going to have me crying before the ceremony even starts.”

                “Aw, Mom…”

                “No, no,” she said, lightly batting his arms away. “Not right now. We’ll be sappy later. We’ve got to go or we’ll be late and Travis will never forgive me.”

                With that Beatrice hustled out the door. Connor and Nico exchanged a look.

                “You’ve gotten pretty good at this fake relationship,” Connor said.

                “It’s D-Day. I have to do my best.”

                _D-Day. That’s right; today is the whole reason I brought him here._

 

                “There’s less people than I thought,” Nico said. He was looking around the hotel parking lot; he was probably counting the cars.

               “Told it you it would be small. We don’t have a huge extended family, and we only invited the people we like.”

                Nico sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I should’ve gone with the dark blue. I look like I’m here for a funeral.”

                “You’re unique,” Beatrice said. She locked the car and checked her watch. “They’re taking photos inside. We made it just in time.”

                Travis and Katie had decided to streamline the process by having their wedding and reception in the same ballroom. Some people on Katie’s side had been a little disappointed that they weren’t having it in a church, but apparently, she’d given them a long speech about saving gas. Connor was sure as soon as they saw the inside of this hotel, they wouldn’t object. It was nicer than anything Connor had ever stayed in.

                “Swank,” Connor said, looking at his reflection in the polished floor. They had a fountain in the lobby. He felt bad for not bringing a coin. Then he could wish for everything to go well.

                The wedding party was gathered around said fountain for their photos. Connor tried to find Cam, Archer, and Neil. (He was a tad disappointed to see Neil there.) They were taking a picture with the bridesmaids. It looked like the only dress code requirement was for the girls to wear purple. Travis and Katie were standing behind the photographer, hand-in-hand.

                “Trav!” Connor called, waving.

                Travis turned around, his face splitting into a huge grin. “Hey, you guys made it!”

                Katie turned and smiled as well. Her dress was plainer than Connor had been imagining. He’d thought wedding dresses were supposed to be poofy, but hers hung straight down. When he got closer, he realized that it was knitted to look like lace.

                “Hi,” she said. “You all look great.”

                “Thanks. I’ll try not to steal the spotlight from you.” Connor winked. Nico sighed heavily.

                “I can’t believe it,” Beatrice said, pulling Travis in for a hug. “What am I supposed to do now that you’re all grown up?”

                Travis hugged her back. “I promise I’ll always keep my youthful spirit. And you still have Connor.”

                Katie laughed behind her hand. “Nico, do you want to get a picture of you and Connor?”

                “I’m good,” Nico said, shaking his head. “Connor’s mom got one of us at home.”

                “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”

                The photographer finished up the bridesmaid and groomsmen’s photos. He tapped Travis’s shoulder. “Immediate family next, since they’re here?”

                “Sure. Katie, how about you and your parents go first?”

                She nodded and joined a middle-aged couple in front of the fountain. They put their arms around her. They looked so proud. Her mom was already getting misty-eyed. Connor had only met Katie’s parents once or twice. They were good people. (Though according to Travis, they hadn’t liked him at first.) Now they would be in-laws. Travis might end up spending his holidays with them every other year. Connor had a hard time wrapping his head around it.

                The groomsmen wandered over. Cam and Archer seemed chipper, while Neil hung back, looking cautiously from Travis to Connor.

                “Good to see you again,” Archer said, shaking hands with Nico and Connor. “I was bummed you didn’t come with us. Cam and I thought we should make it up to you.”

                “You don’t have to do that.”

                “Con, I think Neil has something he wants to say,” Travis said, glancing in his direction.

                Neil cleared his throat as he stepped forward. “I’m, uh, sorry for making you guys feel unwelcome. I should’ve thought before I opened my mouth.”

                Connor looked at Travis. It sounded like a genuine apology, but he bet it was at least half coerced. Connor put out his hand and smiled. “Water under the bridge. It’s my brother’s wedding. I’m sure we can get along for that at least.”

                Neil seemed relieved. “Thanks.” He turned to Nico. “Um…”

                Nico’s hands remained in his pockets. His flat stare didn’t change.

                “Never mind,” Neil said. He released Connor and muttered something about hitting up the restroom.

                Once he was gone, Connor asked, “What did you do to him?”

                Travis shrugged. “I told you, we had a serious conversation. He’s not usually a dick. I’m sure he felt really bad about making things awkward.”

                “The way he was acting, it feels like you had a gun pointed at his head.”

                “Nope. I’m the new, mature and passive aggressive Travis Stoll.”

                Cam and Archer laughed.

                “Groom’s family?” the photographer called.

                “That’s us.” Travis took Connor and their mom by the wrists. “Nico, are you sure you don’t want in?”

                “I’m sure.”

                Connor and Travis stood in front of the fountain, Beatrice between them. She put an arm around their shoulders. Connor had a slight out-of-body experience. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. Even if he made it big on the stage, _this_ was the performance of a lifetime: Connor Stoll as Brother of the Groom and Nico di Angelo’s boyfriend. Connor Stoll as A Person Who At Least Somewhat Has Their Shit Together.

                  _They’re going to ask me when I’m getting married,_ he realized as he smiled for the camera. _They’re going to ask about my post-graduation plans. About jobs and stuff._ He almost wanted to break free of his mom’s grasp and beg for everyone to put the wedding on hold. He wasn’t ready for the world to advance so quickly.

                But there was nothing he could do. Travis looked happy and excited, and maybe a little nervous. Connor took a breath, then another. He was going to get through this.

 

                The wedding hall was already set up with tables and a dance floor for the reception, but there were also a few rows of chairs set up at one end with a lattice archway in front of the DJ booth. Connor admired the efficiency. Extended family began to trickle in and take their seats. Connor noticed that the bride’s side was filling up more than the groom’s.

                He and Nico hadn’t managed to sit yet, because everyone in their invited extended family kept stopping to catch up with them. Connor hadn’t seen most of his cousins in years. They’d changed a lot. It made him wonder how different he looked in their eyes.

                Of course, he went through his prepared spiel of introducing Nico. He would put an arm around him, say, “This is my boyfriend, Nico” and Nico would shake hands. Nico played his part well. He actually smiled. Some of the relatives didn’t bat an eye. Some seemed startled.

                Uncle Gene did a double take when Connor delivered his line. Then he said, “You sure got over that Gardiner girl, huh?”

                The tops of Nico’s ears turned pink.

                Aunt Becca elbowed her husband in the ribs. “Gene. It’s nice to meet you, Nico.”

                Nico shook hands, shooting Connor a puzzled glance.

                “Well,” Uncle Gene said, trying to recover, “you’ve grown a lot since I last saw you, Connor. I remember when you were barely tall enough to ride the Wild Mouse.” He laughed. “Now you’re taller than me!”

                Connor weakly echoed his laugh. He could still feel Nico looking at looking at him.

                “We’d better get to our seats,” Aunt Becca said. “It’s almost time. We’ll catch up later. Again, nice seeing you.” She and Uncle Gene headed for the groom’s side.

                Nico waited for them to get out of earshot before saying, “Isn’t ‘Gardener’ Katie’s last name?”

                “They meant Miranda. Hers is Gardiner, with an ‘I’.”

                “For a second there I thought she was Katie’s sister and you just never told me. That’s a weird coincidence. How the hell did you find another girl with the last name ‘Gardiner’?”

                “Tinder.”

                “You’re fucking kidding me.”

                “Ha, you’re right. I met her in class.” Connor grabbed Nico’s hand. “Let’s sit down.”

                “You’re changing the subject.”

                “It’s just a weird coincidence, like you said. Travis and I are like twins. Stuff like that happens to us.”

                Nico continued to stare at him. Connor ignored it. Now was not the time to get into his dating history. They found Beatrice sitting near the front. Connor sat next to her. She was already digging a pack of tissues out of her purse.

                “Don’t start crying yet, Mom.”

                “I’m not!” She shook a tissue pack in front of his nose. “You’ll want one of these too once things get going!”

                Connor laughed. He turned to Nico. “Do weddings make you emotional?”

                “I’ve never been to one.” Nico looked pointedly at him. “I think you’re going to get sentimental. You and Travis were having that heart to heart yesterday.”

                “You’re on.”

                “It wasn’t a dare. Be all mushy if you want to.”

                The last of the family and friends trickled in. Connor craned his neck to see around the room. It really was a small wedding. He felt too noticeable. He was tall and sitting in the front, with his goth fake boyfriend next to him, throwing off the soft purple, blue, and white color scheme. A weight pressed on his leg.

                Nico was holding his knee. “You’re shaking your leg again.”

                “Thanks.” Connor stared down at Nico’s messy nail polish. It had already started to chip.

                Nico’s hand lingered there for a few more seconds before moving on.

                Someone cued the music.

 

                Connor couldn’t deny it—it was a beautiful ceremony. Katie was pretty, and Travis was handsome (even if he didn’t look like himself) and their vows were sweet. Connor had recited plenty of poetry and lovelorn lines in his theater career, but the idea of getting up on a stage and telling someone how much you loved them in front of everyone frightened him. He didn’t know how Katie and Travis did it, until he realized that they had probably tuned out the audience the second they saw each other.

As much as Connor had gently ribbed Travis about marriage, he realized that he was a little jealous. Things had worked out so well with him and Katie. Meanwhile, Connor was attending the wedding with a guy he wasn’t actually dating. No girlfriends before or since Miranda.

                Beatrice was tearing up beside him. She discreetly wiped her eye with her finger. He remembered how giddy she’d been when she was taking their picture. Their mom and dad had been divorced since forever and yet she never seemed bitter, never talked about marriage or relationships like a ball and chain, never doubted that her delinquent sons could find happiness with someone else. Whoever they were.

                _I’m letting her down,_ Connor realized. _She wants this thing with me and Nico to last. What am I going to say when we have to “break up”?_

He wanted something steady, too. Connor’s eyes drifted to Nico, who was watching the ceremony with polite interest. What did he want? Nico didn’t date, but did he want to? Did he wish he was with someone else right now?

                Connor’s stomach lurched. He didn’t like thinking about it for some reason. On impulse, his hand crept over to Nico’s and took hold of it. Nico glanced at him without turning his head. Connor lifted an eyebrow, as if to say, “I’m keeping up appearances.”

                Nico’s eyebrows shifted to say, “Fine, if you think so.”

                Travis was halfway through his vows. He was actually getting choked up while reading them. Connor wondered if it was possible to feel happy for and envious of someone at the same time. He wanted to know where Travis had learned to describe loving someone and where he’d been hiding all these thoughts he was voicing.

                Connor didn’t think about pressing Nico’s knuckles to his lips, other than having a vague recollection of doing something similar the night before. And Nico squeezed his hand and didn’t let go and Connor thought, _Did I do that for everyone else or did I do it for me?_

It shook him.

 

                After the ceremony, the chairs were moved to the tables. Someone dimmed the lights and uncovered the food sitting on a long table against the wall. Champagne was poured. Connor was having another out-of-body experience, mingled with a flashback to senior prom. He sat through Archer’s short best man speech—thankful that he didn’t have to deliver one—wondering what came next. Travis and Katie were putting off a honeymoon until the holidays were over. They would be around for Beatrice’s Christmas party and for New Year’s, this time with rings on their fingers.

                His brother was married. That would feel strange for a while.

                “Did the ceremony get to you?” Nico asked as they settled down to eat. He hadn’t said much since the ceremony ended aside from expressing his goal to drink himself numb. (Which would be worrying, if Connor hadn’t caught the slight smirk that indicated Nico was joking.)

                “Yeah, I guess. It was pretty romantic. I didn’t know Travis had it in him.”

                He knew he should probably clarify that nothing had changed. He wasn’t getting any “ideas” about Nico and there was no need to panic. However, actually saying that would only make Nico think that he was, so he decided to stay quiet. _He knew it was for the scam. That’s what you do at weddings with your boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. You get emotional and sappy._

                Annabeth and Percy were seated at their table as well. Annabeth kept making a concerned face at him. Katie’s wedding bouquet was in her lap—she hadn’t caught it; Katie had simply handed it to her afterwards. Percy hadn’t commented on it, except to quietly smile at her from time to time. Connor didn’t know what he preferred: for the concerned looks to be about the bouquet or directed at him.

                Katie’s dad was the only other person who made a speech. Connor had a good guess that Travis had put a cap on speeches so that they could eat uninterrupted. Or it could have been Katie. She seemed eager to move things along. Judging by the way she hopped up and moved to the dance floor after she’d finished tipped the scales in her favor.

Travis and Katie’s first dance was “I Wanna Grow Old with You” and Connor was seriously impressed that Travis had somehow sneaked Adam Sandler into his wedding. They looked happy. Travis was being silly, dipping Katie and twirling her more than necessary, and she was laughing. She took one of the flowers from her hair and tucked it behind Travis’s ear.

                “They’re cute,” Annabeth said.

                “I hope you’re taking notes,” Connor said. “You don’t want my brother’s wedding to outdo yours.”

                Percy blushed. He looked slightly uncomfortable in the suit, but still handsome. “Come on, man.”

                “Don’t tell me you aren’t imagining the future Jackson-Chase wedding. It’ll be great. You can do some kind of undersea theme.”

                “Actually, that would be kind of sweet,” Percy said, smiling at Annabeth.

                “Hold your horses,” Annabeth said. She smiled back. “I need to get my doctorate first.”

                “You can get your doctorate any old time. Get married when you’re still young and in love. Not when you’re jaded and bitter,” Connor said.

                Nico picked up his champagne flute. “Actually, there’s a higher chance of divorce if you marry young. At least when you’re jaded, nothing can disappoint you anymore.” He took a large sip.

                “Don’t listen to him,” Connor said. “He’s basically a human espresso.”

                Percy and Annabeth laughed (a touch awkwardly if Connor was being honest with himself). Connor found Nico’s knee under the table and gave it a pinch. Nico retaliated by kicking him in the ankle. Not very hard, but enough to show he couldn’t be intimidated.

                Connor leaned in and lowered his voice so only Nico could hear. “Don’t be cynical at my brother’s wedding. Save it for later, when we’re at home.”

                “I don’t have an on-off switch. Sorry.”

                He sighed. He didn’t have anything he could reasonably threaten Nico with. If they were actually dating, he might’ve been able to pull the old “sleeping on the couch” ultimatum. But they weren’t. His options were pretty limited with Percy sitting right there. Then an idea struck him.

                “If you don’t figure out how to turn it off,” he said, “I’ll just tell Percy that we’re making it up. Right now.”

                Nico’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

                “Why? Not like he’d snitch. Percy knows better than that.”

                “You’d be exposing yourself too, dumbass,” Nico hissed.

                “Yeah, but _you’re_ the one who’d die of humiliation.”

                A muscle in Nico’s jaw twitched. “You tell Percy and I’ll throw the rest of this in your face.” He tilted the champagne flute menacingly toward Connor. “And then I’ll go up to your brother and spill the whole story.”

                “I’d like to see you try.” Connor had no doubt he’d follow through on the “drink in the face” part of the threat. It was the second part that lacked credibility.

                “Tell him and I’ll never speak to you again.”

                Connor sat back. He opened his mouth to retort. Then he shut it again. _Fuck._ That was a bluff he couldn’t call. Because it would be all too easy for Nico to shut him out. He imagined being faced with Nico’s closed door again. It wasn’t pleasant.

                “You win,” he muttered, lifting his glass to his lips.

                “Everything okay?” Percy asked.

                “We’re good,” Nico said. He sounded less angry. “Sorry for what I said. It’s been a long day.”

                 Underneath the table, his fingers brushed the knuckles of Connor’s left hand. Connor moved it out of reach. He couldn’t be satisfied with this. Nico pursed his lips and finished his drink.

                The first dance ended. A few guests applauded. Travis did a fancy bow, twirling his hand in the air. Beatrice grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him upright again for the parents’ dance. She was smiling indulgently.

                Connor remembered why he was doing this. He saw where Nico’s hand rested on the table and gently took it. When Nico turned to look at him, Connor mouthed, “Forgive me?” Percy and Annabeth were watching the next dance. They had maybe a few seconds to patch things.

                Nico shook his head. “Don’t have to. You’re right.” He sighed. “Let’s just call it a case of sour grapes.”

                Connor was tempted to ask for elaboration, but Percy and Annabeth were facing them again. Annabeth noted their linked hands with a hitch of her eyebrow.

               “Made up?” she asked.

               “Yeah. We’re fun like that,” Connor said.

 

The DJ made his way through the typical dance hits. Connor wasn’t able to convince Nico to get up and join him, but he had a good time with the rest of the guests. (No one performed the Cha-Cha Slide like Connor Stoll). He was actually starting to get worn out.

                “Maybe you should sit out for a minute,” Travis said, grinning. He knew Connor would do nothing of the sort.

                “Nah, man. They’re starting the Cupid Shuffle.”

                Katie put a hand on Travis’s arm. “I’m gonna request a slow song next. Give everyone a chance to breathe.” She made her way toward the DJ.

                “When are you going to get your boyfriend out here?” Travis asked. He jerked his chin to where Nico was sitting.

                Percy and Annabeth were chatting with him at the table. Annabeth had danced for a while and even managed to drag Percy out for one, but they’d been taking it easy since.

                “I tried,” Connor said. “Hey, Nico!”

                Nico glanced up. Connor waved as he went through the steps of the Cupid Shuffle, throwing in a few large hand gestures for Nico to join him. Nico shook his head.

                “See?”

                Travis nudged Connor with his elbow. “Maybe when that slow dance goes through…”

                “He won’t. He’s too shy.”

                “Okay. How about a bet? I’ll pay you fifty bucks if you can get Nico to dance the next song with you.”

                “And if I can’t?” It was hard to negotiate when he was this out of breath, but he wasn’t about to stop right in the middle of a line dance—not unless he wanted Aunt Carol to plow into him.

                “Then you pay me.” Travis smirked. “And you have to take a picture on Santa’s lap at the mall.”

                “What? That’s a crazy punishment. Do they even let adults sit on Santa’s lap?”

                “We’ll find out if you can’t convince Nico to slow dance with you. In front of everyone.”

                Connor frowned. “What are you trying to prove?”

                “I’m trying to help you. If you want to keep a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, you have to keep the romance alive.” Travis’s smile was positively evil. “And that includes stuff like this. Take it from me; I’m married.”

                “You’ve been married for, like, five seconds,” Connor snorted.

                “Show me you and Nico are the real deal.”

                Connor’s blood went cold. He came to a screeching halt. What the hell was Travis implying? Was he suspicious? He hadn’t shown any doubts about their relationship until now. Then Connor noticed the twinkle in his brother’s eye and realized he was joking. But it was too late.

                “Con? You okay?”

                “I’m good. Oof! Sorry, Aunt Carol.”

                Aunt Carol shot him a withering look. Travis quickly pulled Connor away from the rest of the guests. He lowered his voice just enough. Connor could barely hear him over the music.

                “I didn’t mean it like that,” Travis said. “I’m not trying to test you or compare him to Miranda or anything.”

                _Oh thank God._ Travis had misread Connor’s sudden jolt of horror. Connor relaxed. “No, no. It’s okay. I know you were just fooling around.”

                Travis’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Whew. Disaster averted. You should still get Nico to dance with you.” He winked. “It’d be cute.”

                “You want me to, but you don’t think I can. You wouldn’t put fifty dollars on the table if there wasn’t a safe chance of you winning.”

                “What can I say?” Travis shrugged. “Your picture’s going to look nice in the album.”

                Connor punched him in the arm. “Shut up. Just watch.”

                He straightened his bow tie and headed toward the table. Nico was playing with the centerpiece, stroking a fake leaf with his forefinger and thumb. He seemed tired. Percy and Annabeth were talking about something between themselves.

                Connor leaned over Nico, bracing himself against the table. “Hey, hon,” he said. “You owe me a dance.”

                Nico looked up. “I don’t dance.”

               “Just this once. Please?”

               Annabeth noticed Connor had joined them. She met Connor’s eye. A wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. “What’s going on?” she asked.

               “Annabeth, help me convince Nico that he needs to dance with me.”

               She shook her head. “That’s your business.”

_Thanks for nothing,_ Connor thought. When was she going to get over this? He wasn’t doing anything evil. Connor leaned down until his mouth was level with Nico’s ear.

              “One dance,” he said. “Travis is betting me fifty dollars that I can’t get the next song with you. I’m starting to think he doesn’t believe us.”

              “I would but…”

              “But what?”

               Nico bit his lip. “I’m a bad dancer. And there are tons of people watching.”

                “That’s all? No one said you had to be good.” Connor took Nico’s hand. He pulled him out of his chair. “Come on. It’s about to start.”

                “Connor, I told you—”

                “Sweetheart.” Connor spun around, cupping Nico’s face in his hands. “Leave it to me. I’m not going to make you look bad.”

                The ceiling lights were reflected in Nico’s eyes. Two bright spots glowed in his pupils. It made them seem sparkly and dream-like. Nico put his hands over Connor’s.

                “Alright,” he said. He gently lowered Connor’s hands from his jaw without letting go. Then he nodded at the dance floor. The slow song had just started.

                Connor grinned triumphantly at Travis, who had his arms around Katie’s waist. Travis wiggled his eyebrows. He’d wanted Connor to win this bet; Connor was sure of it. _Thanks, bro._

                “I think it’s like this,” Connor explained, placing his right hand on Nico’s waist. “Yours goes on my shoulder.”

                “You’re making me the girl,” Nico grumbled.

                “No one’s the girl. You said you couldn’t dance. It makes sense for me to lead.” Connor meshed the fingers of his left hand with Nico’s. His palm was a little sweaty.

                It wasn’t hard to find the beat. Connor started to rock, pulling Nico along with him. Nico seemed to catch on. The height difference wasn’t as bad as Connor thought it would be. He caught Nico glancing over his shoulder once or twice. Though he was managing to move in sync, he was still stiff and awkward.

                Connor used their linked hands to turn Nico’s chin back toward him. “Look at me,” he said. “Forget about them.”

                “They’re watching us.”

                “Then we’ll give them a show. Put your head on my shoulder and close your eyes.”

                Nico hesitated a second, then did as Connor asked. Connor felt him unwind. He moved his right hand to the small of Nico’s back. He sort of liked the soft weight of Nico’s head against his shoulder.

                Connor took a quick note of the guests looking their way. From the way Nico had been freaking out, Connor was expecting everyone in the room to be staring at them. Really only a few people were bothering to observe them. Annabeth was watching them over Percy’s shoulder, disapproval clear on her face. Percy must have noticed, because he turned around. He smiled.

               “This reminds of me of senior prom,” Connor said.

               “Mmm.”

               “Did you go to prom?”

               “No. It sounded like a hassle. I stayed at home.” Nico sighed. “Bianca did. She went by herself.”

               “Did she have fun?”

               “Yeah. She said it was totally different from middle school. All the girls were so pretty and the boys were all handsome,” Nico said dreamily. He laughed, taking Connor by surprise. “I think I drank too much. I usually don’t talk like this.”

               “I’ll say. You’re holding up just fine, though.”

               Nico nuzzled his forehead against Connor’s shoulder. “I was a little jealous. I wish I could’ve gone, but I know I would’ve ended up standing in a corner. Those kinds of things are pointless if there’s no one to go with.”

              “I would’ve gone with you.”

              “No, you wouldn’t have. Quit trying to make me feel better.”

              “There’s no winning with you.”

              “You got me to dance, didn’t you?”

              Connor fell silent. He was tempted to turn his head toward Nico’s and hide himself in his hair, but he resisted. The song was winding down. A few pairs of eyes were still on them. Connor ran his hand up Nico’s back.

              “I’m going to dip you,” he said.

               Nico lifted his head. “You’re going to what?”

              “This.” As the song finished, Connor tilted Nico back as far as he dared, keeping his arm locked around Nico’s waist.

               Nico clutched Connor’s shoulder. He tried to remain upright for a second or two before letting his feet slide out from under him. “Show-off,” he said without heat.

               Connor felt the world’s goofiest smile spreading across his face. “I’m being romantic,” he said. “What do you think?”

               “I think you’re a dork.”

               “You love it.” Connor leaned closer. Holding Nico like this was making Connor want to kiss him. He didn’t know where it came from. It had nothing to do with convincing anyone watching that they were a couple. His brain stalled.

                Nico shifted his hand to the back of Connor’s neck. “Kiss me and get it over with.”

                That managed to jumpstart his thought processes again. Connor felt Nico push him down. There was a hint of sugar and champagne on Nico’s breath. It was a different kind of kiss than the one they’d shared last night. Nico seemed to melt in his arms. When they separated, their lips came apart with a quiet, wet noise.

                “Now _that_ ,” Connor said, “was convincing.” He tried not to let on how wobbly his knees had suddenly become. He figured it was from holding Nico in the dip.

                “Um… can we go outside?” Nico looked kind of flushed. He pulled at his tie. “It’s kind of stuffy in here.”

                “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Connor put his hand on the small of Nico’s back and guided him toward the doors. He remembered the lobby. It might not provide fresh air, but it would definitely be quiet.

                 The shift from the dim lighting of the ballroom to the brightness of the lobby caused Connor to squint. It was empty. Nico made a beeline for one of the armchairs. A few of them had been arranged back to back. Connor took one that had been pushed against Nico’s.

                 “I overdid it,” Nico said. He ran his hand through his hair. “I should know better than to get drunk in public.”

                “Are you really drunk?” Connor twisted around so that he could study Nico. (The chair backs weren’t that high. If Nico let his head loll back, it would be lying next to Connor’s.) He was huddled up on his seat.  

                “I picked up the bad habit of drinking to calm my anxiety. And to stop thinking.”

                “It worries me when you say stuff like that.”

                “Just being honest. Kind of can’t help it. Did you know I used to be a little chatterbox? God, I can’t remember how many times people told me to shut up.” He swept his hair out of his face again. “Why don’t we do something different. How about you share _your_ damage? I know you’ve got some.”

                “Everyone has damage,” Connor admitted. “Mine isn’t interesting.”

                Nico rested his cheek against the back of the chair. “Tell me your secrets, liar boy.”

                Connor swallowed. His heart was thumping in a way he didn’t think was normal. Nico stared at him through half-lidded eyes. Nico’s soft voice and posture were a ruse. He was being compelled to speak.

                “After Miranda broke up with me, I was arrested.”

                Nico didn’t visibly react. The most it got out of him was a sleepy blink.

                “I used to do all kinds of stupid shit when I was younger,” Connor continued. He rubbed his eyes. “Just little stuff, but it adds up. I stole things from kids at school, played pranks on them. I shoplifted a lot, too, and I never got caught.”

                “Didn’t they ever pick you up on security cameras?”

                “There are places where security is really lax. Places where the employees are never paying attention, and no one checks the feed. And Travis helped me. We both did stuff like that.”

                “You were bad.”

                Connor laughed nervously. “Yeah. Eventually our mom found out and managed to stop us before it got too out of hand. Then Travis started dating Katie and she kept him on the straight and narrow.”

                “What about you?”

                “I had Miranda.”

                “Oh.”

                “This is going to sound so stupid,” Connor said, a lump forming in his throat, “but I was jealous of Travis. When he first went out with Katie, I was hoping she’d dump him. I wanted things to stay the same. I knew that if they got serious, he would change. Then I thought that I might as well try to have what he had.”

                “So you started dating a girl like Katie, right down to the last name.”

                Connor blushed. “Um, well, you’re probably right. Anyway, you know how that turned out. My heart wasn’t in it. I was just trying to be like Travis. That’s really pathetic, huh?”

                “It is.”

                It stung, but Connor appreciated Nico’s bluntness. He would rather have honesty than platitudes. “Once she was out, I kind of lost my way again. I didn’t know who I was so I tried to get myself back? Does that make sense? Anyway, I got caught shoplifting again. It wasn’t that serious. Basically I got a smack on the wrist.”

               “And Travis and your mom assumed you were upset about Miranda dumping you.”

               Connor nodded. “I couldn’t tell them what it was really about.”

               “Poor baby.”

               “Don’t call me that,” Connor said softly.

               “But I mean it. _Poverino_.” Nico reached over and lightly ran his fingertips through Connor’s hair. “I was wrong about you. We’re both sad.”

               Connor didn’t deny it. He caught Nico’s hand. He fought with himself for a few moments before he was holding it against his mouth. It wasn’t really a kiss. “You got me,” he said against Nico’s skin.

               Nico’s hand slid out of Connor’s grasp. “You don’t have to do that. No one’s watching.”

              “I know. Force of habit.”

              “Was it?” Nico smiled. It caught Connor completely off guard.

              “Maybe it wasn’t,” he admitted, trying to spin the conversation back under his control. “Maybe I’m actually falling in love with you.”

               Nico threw his head back and laughed. He sank further into the chair, disappearing from sight. Connor got up and peered over. Nico looked up at him. “Shut up, Con.”

               Connor smirked back. _Was I joking? I can’t tell._ He wondered how far he could push this topic, but Nico was apparently done. He rolled off the chair and stood up, shaking the wrinkles from his suit. Connor was half-relieved. He’d probably been about to say something stupid.

 

                It was a relief to go home and take off the suit and tie. The reception had eventually wound down as people got tired. Connor had left Nico only to watch Travis and Katie go. He’d hugged his brother again, and Katie, too. It had been a surreal moment. The wedding was over. Travis was a _husband_ now and the scam had gone off with barely a hitch.

                Beatrice was there, but Connor didn’t remember what she’d said. He remembered all of them laughing. He remembered Travis making a joke about Connor marrying Nico and Connor had rolled his eyes. (Like he hadn’t heard that one a million times today.)

                Percy and Annabeth said goodnight after Katie and Travis left. When Annabeth went in for the hug, she’d whispered in his ear, “Be careful.”

_Of what?_ He didn’t want to ask with Percy nearby. Over Annabeth’s shoulder, he could see Percy and Nico talking, but he couldn’t hear them. Percy looked apologetic for some reason. Nico shook his head a couple times. He asked about it on the way back to the car.

               “It’s nothing,” Nico said. “Just saying sorry for being shitty.” He put his arm through Connor’s and pressed against his side. In a low voice, he said, “How was I?”

               “Amazing. You should try out for one of next semester’s productions.”

               “You won’t be there.” He sounded genuinely disappointed. “How are we going to—?”

                Nico had stopped himself. What had he been about to say? Keep in touch? That should be obvious. They had each other’s phone numbers. Was Nico on Facebook? He seemed like an anti-social media guy. Connor was about to say that Nico could call him anytime, but Beatrice was right there and didn’t sound like a smart thing to do.

               “We’ll think of something,” Connor said.

                He nearly fell asleep on the way home and could’ve fallen into bed as he was, but Nico had the presence of mind to stop him. They ended up brushing their teeth at the same time, because Connor hadn’t wanted to wait. If he even sat down, he’d probably pass out. Nico kicked him out of the bathroom to change and Connor crawled underneath the covers.

                When Nico got in next to him, Connor mumbled, “It was beautiful.”

               “Con, aren’t you tired?” Nico said with a sigh. His eyes were already closed.

               “I want to have something like that one day.”

               “A wedding?”

               “A marriage.”

                Nico was silent for a few moments. Then his hand slipped out from under the covers and took hold of Connor’s. “You will. Someone will find you.”

               “They might’ve found me already,” Connor mumbled into his pillow. “Might’ve found me, but I…”

               “Shh. Go to sleep.” He felt Nico’s fingertips on his forehead. It was the last thing he was aware of.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, posting this chapter in the middle of the night: >:)

               Connor had weird dreams all night. Dreams about flower arranging and cabs that never stopped when you hailed them and a talking skeleton that turned out to be a huge puppet rigged up by Travis. He didn’t know what any of it meant. Maybe dreams didn’t have to mean anything. What mattered was that the first thing he saw when he came out the dreamscape was Nico.

Waking up came naturally. Nico was huddled against Connor, his head nested against his collarbone. One of his legs had slipped between Connor’s. It was hard to tell what time it was exactly. The light coming in through the window suggested it was still mid-morning. Connor didn’t hear any movement in the rest of the house. His mom was probably still asleep.

                Nico stirred. He made a small noise as he lifted his head. His hair was matted on one side. Connor worked his arm out from underneath Nico to pass his fingers through it. He didn’t think about doing it. Right now, he wasn’t even sure he was really awake.

                “Con,” Nico said softly. His eyes were half-open. He was leaning up and his mouth was so close, and Connor was staring at it like a deer in the headlights. It jolted him awake.

                Connor quickly rolled to the side and pushed himself out from underneath the covers. His chest hurt. He rubbed the heel of his hand over it. _What the hell was that?_ Had he actually been contemplating kissing Nico with no witnesses? Was he imagining things or had Nico been about to kiss _him_?

                He heard a soft rustle and a sigh as Nico lay back down. The mattress dipped as he rolled over. Connor looked over his shoulder at Nico. He was a lump under the covers, his head swallowed by his pillow. Had he even realized what almost happened?

                Connor got up. He took a shower. He stood under the stream and stared at the wall for ten minutes before he realized he should probably wash his hair or something. He kept thinking about the almost-kiss. Last night, he’d come really close to irreparably fucking up their scam. A few times.

                _If I kiss him for real, then what?_ Connor rested his forehead against the tile. _Snap out of it. Remember, it’s an act. Don’t start complicating things._

                The trouble was that Nico was worth complicating things for. Connor aggressively scrubbed his hair. If he hadn’t chickened out back there or just came out and said something at the wedding, he might not be in this predicament.

                Nico was still asleep when he came out of the bathroom. Connor figured it was better that way. He wasn’t ready for a confrontation. He went in search of cereal and coffee. It was—thankfully—empty. Connor ate his cereal over the sink.

                Beatrice had left a note on the fridge telling him to do the grocery shopping. Connor flipped it over. There was a short list on the back. He sighed with relief. They weren’t buying supplies for the Christmas party yet.

                Of course, that had to be the moment that Nico stumbled in. He was failing to hide a yawn behind his hand. Connor didn’t make eye contact. He read the list again.

                “What’s that?” Nico asked. He poured himself coffee. He’d already memorized where the mugs were kept.

                “Grocery list. Mom wants me to go shopping.”

                “Okay. I’ll go with you.”

                It seemed like he didn’t remember the almost-kiss or was pretending it didn’t happen. Connor relaxed. This was good, if mildly disappointing.

                “Ugh,” Nico said, taking his first sip. “We don’t have to go right away, do we? My head is killing me.”

                “How much did you actually drink last night?”

                “I don’t remember.”

                “There’s aspirin in the cabinet.” Connor pointed. “Do you feel sick? You shouldn’t drink coffee; you’ll just get more dehydrated.”

                Nico grunted and shuffled over to the cabinet.

                _It’s a good thing we didn’t kiss,_ Connor thought. _We probably had really bad morning breath._

Not that he wasn’t still curious. In fact, his mind was starting to wander, imagining what it’d be like to take the coffee mug out of Nico’s hands and kiss his forehead. (He kind of hoped Nico would be flustered, because he it would make him even cuter.) Connor shook the vision off. He needed to be normal. There was no one around today expecting them to act like a couple. They could relax.

                Connor saw Nico find the aspirin and shake out a pill. He was about to down it with his coffee when Connor actually did snatch the cup from his hand and set it on the counter.

                “Water,” he insisted.

                Nico rolled his eyes. “Alright, _mom_.”

                “As your fake boyfriend, it’s my job to make sure you don’t die.”

                “I’m not gonna die from this.” Nico rubbed his temples. “Where are the glasses again?”

                “I’ll get it. I don’t think you can reach,” Connor said, opening the cabinet. He heard an offended huff behind him. He felt more on even footing now. He could wrap himself up in jokes and avoid being seen. Last night, he’d been exposed. Nico had seen through him. He had to be careful it didn’t happen again.

 

                Connor realized it was a mistake to bring Nico grocery shopping with him about two seconds after getting a cart. It was too real. The wedding had been a date, and it was meant to be romantic. You couldn’t blame a guy for getting swept up in the magic. But seeing Nico poring over Beatrice’s shopping list in the produce section hit him like a freight train. There was no reasonable explanation for that.

                They were slowly passing down the breakfast aisle when Connor finally worked up the nerve to speak. “What are you actually looking for in a boyfriend?” he asked.

                Nico reached up for a box of cereal. He dumped it in the cart. “I don’t know. Someone funny, I guess. Good looking’s a plus.”

                Connor was struggling to determine whether Nico was being sarcastic. He thought he’d been getting better at differentiating it from Nico’s standard speech. He rolled the cart back and forth.

                “What do you mean by funny?”

                “Why do you suddenly want to know?” Nico narrowed his eyes. “Are you worried you’re falling short as my fake boyfriend?”

                “I’m trying to improve your experience. More jokes is what I’m hearing.”

                “That’s not what I said.”

                Connor grinned. His heart was beating so fast he could die. “Why don’t you date?”

                “I just don’t want to bother. It’s too much effort.”

                It sounded like the short version of a long answer. Connor couldn’t have this conversation in a grocery store. “And your type is unattainable,” he added.

                Nico’s brow furrowed. “I might’ve been wrong about that,” he said.

                “What changed your mind?”

                “Don’t know. Just did, I guess.”

                It was wishful thinking, but Connor wondered if he now qualified for Nico’s type. _Get a grip,_ he told himself. _One, you don’t have a chance with him, and two, it’s all in your head anyway._ It was getting harder to convince himself that he wasn’t falling.

                “I think we got everything,” Nico said, scanning Beatrice’s list.

                Connor was turning the cart around when it collided with someone else’s. The crash wasn’t too bad. It sounded terrible, but it didn’t capsize.

                “Oh, my bad,” Connor said, and then froze solid.

                Miranda stared back at him. It was almost comforting to see his own anxiety reflected in her expression. Connor was half-expecting to find out he was being taped by a hidden camera right now. Was he living in a Truman Show-like reality?

                “Hi,” Miranda said, after what felt like an eternity.

                “Oh. Hey, Miranda.” Connor desperately did not want to talk. “How’s it been?”

                “Good.” She tried to smile. Connor recognized her strained expression from when her parents grilled them about commitment. “What about you?”

                “Also good.”

                Meanwhile, Nico hung back, pretending to double check the list. His head was down, but Connor could see he was bright red. Connor didn’t blame him. He couldn’t think of a more awkward situation. A thought occurred that this would be a good time to trot out the scam, but it didn’t seem worth it. He didn’t need to prolong this interaction.

                “Anyway,” Miranda said with a quick breath, “sorry for hitting your cart. Happy Holidays.”

                “Happy Holidays,” Connor echoed weakly.

                Miranda nodded, backed up her cart, then continued past them down the aisle. Connor resisted the urge to collapse over the child’s seat. What bad timing. At least they hadn’t run into each other when he was doing something stupid or dressed like a hobo. At least their conversation was short. A year had gone by and it was still awkward. Why did everything have to be awkward?

                “That was her?” Nico whispered.

                Connor nodded. He’d lost his ability to speak.

                “Let’s go. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” Nico tugged on Connor’s arm.

                Connor was relieved to jump in line for the cashier. He wanted to apologize to Nico for having to see that, but it wasn’t as if he’d planned it. They made it through check-out without talking. They had just loaded everything into the car and were getting ready to drive off when Nico said, “You were right. She was pretty.”

                “I told you she lowered her standards.”

                “She didn’t.”

                Connor looked at him. Nico was leaning against the window.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” Connor said.

                “I’m serious. God, I was scared you two were gonna make a scene.”

                “We don’t hate each other or anything.” Connor hoped that was the case. “Honestly, that went a lot better than I expected.”

                “It’s too bad it didn’t work out,” Nico said.

                Connor stared at his hands on the steering wheel. “I guess,” he said.

 

                There was nothing to do, so Connor did laundry. He realized he must be really desperate to fill time, since he hated laundry. His mind went pleasantly blank as he sorted his and Nico’s clothes into piles. (Obviously most of Nico’s went into the dark wash.) Then he remembered Nico threatening him in the dorm laundry room and began to spiral again.

                It got worse when Nico came down and said, “Need help?”

                “Nah, I got it.”

                “You know you don’t have to stand next to the machine while it washes, right? You’ve been down here for almost two hours.”

                Connor hadn’t been keeping track of the time. He looked down at the newly dried clothes he’d been folding (he must have had it pretty bad to be _folding_ ).

                “It feels weird for me to say this, but maybe we should go outside,” Nico said.

                “We went out earlier.”

                “That was for chores. I think you’re cracking up.”

                Okay, so Nico had definitely noticed he’d been acting off. “I’m fine,” Connor insisted.

                “I don’t know if it’s because Travis got married or because you bumped into Miranda, but something’s up with you.”

                “Nothing’s up with me.” Connor dropped the t-shirt he was holding. “I’m just, you know, doing what I need to do. Don’t worry about it.”

                Nico sighed. “Fine. I guess if I’m bored I’ll call Percy and Annabeth, see what they’re up to.”

                “No,” Connor said without thinking.

                Nico tilted his head skeptically.

                “I mean… sorry. I didn’t realize you were just sitting around. We can do something.”

                “Don’t want to be left out?” Nico said.

                “Ha, yeah.” Connor smiled. He wasn’t sure why he’d been against the idea; getting some time alone might actually help him come to his senses. He pushed the laundry basket aside with his foot. “Do you wanna watch a movie or something? Since…” He waved a hand at the washing machine.

                “Here?”

                “We’ve got Netflix. And they’re playing Christmas specials nonstop on one of the cable channels.”

                Nico appeared to think about it. “Sure. Why not. You owe me a better movie than the two we sat through on our ‘date.’”

                “Hey, we watched _Muppet Christmas Carol_ with my mom.”

                “And it was great, but like I said, two movies.” Nico held up two fingers to emphasize his point. “I get to pick this time.”

                “How can I trust your taste? You told me you don’t watch movies.”

                “You can’t. You’re stuck with me.”

                Connor clamped his jaw shut, in case he said something like, “I’m stuck _on_ you.” Of course, as soon as he thought of it, the Elvis song wormed its way into his brain. _Aw, damn it._ He needed to be careful not to start humming or singing it around Nico.

                Nico started climbing the steps back to the first floor. “You said you had Netflix?”

                “Yeah.” Connor followed him. He was genuinely curious to see what Nico was going to pick. Nico hadn’t seemed all that interested in kid’s movies or action. Maybe he liked horror, but that seemed like unfair stereotyping. Nico could be into romantic comedies for all Connor knew.

                “I used to watch more when I was a kid,” Nico said when they reached the first floor. “I was in the front row for the _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ movie. The one with Anubis.”

                “Oh my God.”

                “We bought it on DVD. I watched it about ten million times.”

                “For real? Nico, I swear, if you put on _Bonds Beyond Time,_ I will die.”

                Nico looked pensive. “You know, I was going to suggest something else, but now I’m feeling nostalgic for my roots…”

                Connor clapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. “You wouldn’t!”

                “I mean, I haven’t seen it yet,” Nico said as he started typing the title into the search bar. “Weren’t we bonding over _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ the other day?”

                “I wasn’t _into_ it into it,” Connor clarified. He climbed over the back of the couch. “I just liked playing with Travis and the Duel Disk was cool.”

                “To be honest, it was kind of dumb, but it was cool at the same time? Like, it went around the other side. Duel Monsters, as a game, isn’t actually that hard to pick up, and it’s pretty fun once you get the hang of it. I went through a lot of card packs trying to get a Blue Eyes. Disappointment of the century was getting a free Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, but not having enough Blue Eyes to use it. I had the worst luck.”

                Connor stared at Nico. It was absolutely crazy, but he felt like he was even more into him than he had been that morning. All he could say was, “You’re such a _nerd_.”

                “Shut up,” Nico said. He was blushing. “I’m not into that anymore.”

                “That,” Connor said, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “is a blatant lie.”

                “Be quiet, it’s starting.” Nico hit play and pushed himself into the opposite corner of the couch. He folded his arms. Connor suspected anything he was about to say would be met with a shush, so he settled in.

 

                Although Connor spent most of the run time stealing glances at Nico, he was surprised to find himself enjoying the whole experience. He was a little confused by all the different characters and he couldn’t follow the game that well, but he was too afraid to ask Nico for clarification. At least there was no way he’d get sappy and say something stupid to Nico because of it.

                “What did you think?” Nico asked.

                “It was dumb.”

                “Yeah.”

                “But also really awesome.”

                Nico surprised him with a grin. “Yeah,” he said. “You know, I honestly didn’t think I’d end up watching a card game anime with you. Or enjoying it. Like I said, I’m not into it anymore.”

                “And like _I_ said, that’s a fib.”

                It was already getting dim outside. If there was one major thing Connor disliked about winter it was that the days were shorter. No wonder people kept their Christmas lights up past the holidays; it was too dark and depressing otherwise.

                An idea struck. Connor stood up, realized he was still hugging a pillow, put it down, and said, “Did I tell you about the Christmas house yet?”

                “The what?”

                “There’s this one house in our neighborhood that does _the most_ for Christmas. It’s so cool. Travis and I go look at it every year.”

                Nico looked even more confused. “What do you mean by ‘the most’? Like, he has a lot of decorations?”

                “Yeah. But it’s better than that. You have to see it for yourself.”

                “I’ve seen Christmas decorations.”

                “You haven’t seen this guy’s. He made the local news. We should go after I switch the laundry. Then it’ll be dark enough.” Connor headed back for the laundry room. “I’ll be right back.”

                “I didn’t say I would go,” Nico called after him, but it was pointless.

                If they stayed alone in this house a second longer, Connor was about to go crazy. He was dying to tell Nico how his heart was bursting. He wished he could joke about it, at least. But he kept falling faster and faster, unable to slow down or stop now that he’d noticed.

                _I really am pathetic,_ Connor thought, piling wet clothes into the dryer. _I like him, and I didn’t even think that was a possibility._ A good actor would know how to separate his role from reality. Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire played opposite each other in movies all the time, but they married different people. (Connor immediately felt cocky for comparing himself to either Ginger or Fred.) Connor wished there was a way to escape and slow things down for a little while. Give himself a chance to really think…

                When he returned upstairs, Nico had his jacket on.

                “So,” Nico said, glancing up from his phone. “Where’s the Christmas house?”

 

                As far as Connor knew, there were no laws about how much miscellaneous Christmas junk you could put on your front lawn, but if there was, this guy was breaking all of them. His house was decked out in lights—on strings around trees and along his gutters and around his windows and aimed at the decorations to better show them off. There was a nativity, as well as Charlie Brown, Linus, and Snoopy. Not to mention light up reindeer, some of which were serenely turning their heads. There was also more than one Santa waving at them.

                “He probably pays a huge electric bill,” Nico observed.

                “What do you think besides that?”

                “It’s kitschy. I can see why you like it.”

                “Hey.”

                “It has its charms,” Nico admitted with a shrug. “Does he ever turn the lights off?”

                “I don’t know. I never staked the place out before.”

                Nico took a step closer to the fence. He gave it a cautious tap—maybe he thought it would be alarmed or something—then leaned on it. “You’re weird,” he said.

                “ _You’re_ weird,” Connor retorted. _Still want to kiss you, though._ He got his phone out and sidled up next to Nico. “Let me take your picture.”

                Nico obliged. He continued to stare at the manger while Connor snapped a few different angles. The juxtaposition of Nico standing in front of a Frosty the Snowman inflatable was good enough to put in a museum.

               “Is this your idea of a date?” Nico asked.

               “No. This is just a walk.” Connor couldn’t help staring at Nico, even with all of the Christmas house’s attention-grabbing lights. The pictures he’d taken of Nico were good, but the real thing was always better. “I could… I could do better.”

                Nico looked up at him. “The first wasn’t bad. And you took me to a wedding. I think those two were solid.”

               “Yeah, but those were pretend. If it was a real date, I’d try harder.”

               “Oh. I guess that’s true. You’d probably go all out for your girlfriend.”

               Connor took a deep breath. He put his hands on the fence to steady himself. The cold metal bit into his palms. “Or for you. Hypothetically.”

               “Hypothetically? We’ve been on—”

               “I want to go out with you.” Connor didn’t dare make eye contact. “Look, I know this is going to screw up the plan, but you deserve more than pretending to be someone’s boyfriend.”

               “Con, you’re not serious.”

               “Why would I lie?”

               “It’s not that I think you’re lying,” Nico said. “Not on purpose. You’ve never liked guys before.”

               “Maybe I did, and I just didn’t realize that’s what it was.” Connor gathered his courage and finally turned to face Nico. Nico was looking back at him, a strange mix of emotions in his eyes. “Does it even matter? I know I like _you_. That has to count for something.”

               “But do you really like me? Or are you starting to buy your own scam?”

               “Honestly…” Connor licked his lips. They were chapped. “I haven’t figured that out yet. All I know is that last night, I thought you were beautiful.”

               Nico blushed. Even in the dark, Connor could tell. “That’s… that’s just the wedding talking.”

               “And what about this morning? I almost kissed you.”

               “Shit.” Nico quickly turned back to the house and slumped over the fence. “Shit, I thought that was a dream.”

               “You remember?”

               “Obviously. I wasn’t totally awake, but I remember.”

               “Be honest. Were you going for it?”

               Nico said something unintelligible.

               Connor sighed. “I guess you don’t have to answer.”

               Nico lifted his head. “I was. I was going for it, because _I thought it was a dream_. You were just so… I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

               “We could figure things out together.”

               “It’s not that simple.” Nico pressed his lips together. “I can’t gamble on stuff like this. Even if I like you, it doesn’t mean we’d work together. What happens when we go back to school? I told you I’m not out, Connor.”

               “No one would care. And you’d have me.” As far as Connor had seen, there was a larger number of supportive people on campus than unsupportive. There were assholes everywhere, but they seemed to keep their mouth shut at school. Though what would happen when Connor graduated? Could he trust other people to take care of Nico?

              “Not just that,” Nico said. “I can’t take you home. You can’t meet my mom.”

              “Is it that bad?”

              Nico sighed. “She’s not hateful. She’d be disappointed and worried about me, but she wouldn’t kick me out. My grandfather though…”

              “Oh. Would he really do that?”

              “He already thinks I’m the family disgrace. Finding out I’m gay would be the icing on the cake. I’d probably get written out of the will.” Nico rolled his eyes. “Italians are so fucking dramatic. You don’t even know.”

              “I think I have an idea.”

               Nico glowered at him.

              “That’s not a dig against you,” Connor said. “Listen, I understand the family drama. The Stolls have it, too. My mom got so much shit for what went down with my dad.”

              “Then what do we do?”

               Connor tried to think. “How about just one date? A real one. Give me a chance to prove I can be a good real boyfriend, not just a fake boyfriend. I promise the pros outweigh the cons.”

               “I—”

                A ringtone cut through the electric hum of the Christmas house.

Nico frowned as he fished his phone out of his pocket. Connor caught a glimpse of the caller ID—“Mama”—but he would’ve guessed anyway. It seemed like Nico’s mother had been calling more and more frequently since the bachelorette party.

                “I’ll be a minute,” Nico said. He was already walking to the corner, out of earshot. He had taken one or two steps in that direction when he stopped, swiveled around, and took Connor by the arm. This was new. He followed Nico away from the Christmas house.

                Connor had only heard Nico speak Italian in random bursts—to swear or to say something he was too embarrassed to say in English. Now it seemed to be the other way around. Every so often, the stream of Italian was interrupted by a random English word, probably something Nico didn’t know how to say, and it would be twisted with an accent. (He couldn’t tell why Nico did this; it might’ve been because the momentum of the language was too hard to stop.) For the first minute, it was nothing but “murmur, murmur, housing department, murmur, murmur.” He sounded exasperated, as if he was repeating something he’d said a million times. Then there was a long pause.

                Nico stopped walking. He looked at Connor. “Um… he’s here. If you want…”

                Connor had a feeling Nico had just switched languages for his benefit. He lifted an eyebrow.

                “Okay,” Nico said into the phone. He held it away from his ear. “She, uh, wants to talk to you.”

                _You can’t meet my mom._ Connor’s stomach twisted. Despite having a talent for bending the truth, he didn’t always make a good impression with other people’s parents. Especially if their first interaction with him was over the phone. He hadn’t won any points with Percy’s stepdad when he’d answered Percy’s phone and tried to be funny. (In his defense, “Paul” literally could’ve been anyone.) The fact that this was his potential boyfriend’s mother on the other end—who had no idea Nico _had_ a potential boyfriend—made this even trickier.

                “She just wants to know who you are,” Nico added.

                Connor wordlessly accepted the phone. He wondered how he should start. Did he introduce himself first or wait for her to ask?

                Ms. di Angelo’s voice came over the line. She had the faintest trace of an accent. “Hello,” she said. “Am I speaking to Connor?”

                “Yeah, that’s me.”

                She sighed. Connor hoped it was in relief. “Thank you for letting Nico stay with you. It hasn’t been inconvenient for you, has it?”

                “No, not at all,” Connor said. “We love having him.”

                “Oh, that’s good. I’m glad he’s been spending time with friends. This season can be hard for him. Everything’s okay?”

                “Everything’s okay.”

                There was a short pause. Ms. di Angelo said, “Has he said anything to you about when he’ll leave? Christmas is coming and I don’t want to impose on your family.”

                “Um. It hasn’t come up.” Nico cringed in his peripheral vision. “If he wants to stay, it’d be no problem. My mom is actually planning a family Christmas party…” He heard another sigh. “But I know you’ll want to see him.”

                “I’m not going,” Nico whispered. “I already told her.”

                Connor didn’t want to repeat that to Ms. di Angelo. He was trying to rephrase it in his head when Nico’s mom started talking again.

                “I would prefer it if he came home,” she went on. “We usually go to Christmas Mass as a family. I hardly get to see him during the year. Could you please say something to him? I’ve tried to explain…”

                Nico grabbed Connor’s arm and pulled it down so he could take the phone back. “Don’t put him up to anything, Mama,” he said. “I’ll come home once the renovations are done. Please don’t call me about this again. _Ti voglio bene._ ” He hung up.

                “You shouldn’t talk to your mom like that,” Connor said.

                “She’s been asking if I’m going to leave now that the wedding’s over. I already told her that I wouldn’t stay in the same house as my grandfather.” Nico faced him. “It’s not that I don’t care about her.”

                “I get that, but are you sure you don’t want to spend Christmas with her at least? D.C. isn’t that far. I could always come get you after the holiday.”

                Nico shook his head. “I’d rather stay here.”

                Connor smoothed Nico’s hair. As much as he wanted Nico’s relationship with his mom to stay positive, he knew he was too selfish to convince Nico to go to her. They needed to make the most of their time together and figure things out before the next semester started. He didn’t regret telling Nico his feelings, but there was a small knot of doubt at the back of his mind. Maybe he’d pushed things too fast.

                Nico lowered his head. “I wouldn’t feel right if I ditched you and your family. If you took me to D.C. my mom would want to meet you in person. I just… it wouldn’t be good.”

                “Does she hate me for keeping you?” Connor asked. “I’d be upset if it was my kid. The whole dating thing aside, I don’t think she’d approve of me. Not even as your friend.”

                “She probably doesn’t hate you. She’s a forgiving person.” Nico sighed. “I’m not like her.”

                Connor couldn’t comment. He didn’t have much to go on re: Nico’s mother. So far he got the impression that she loved her son very much, but it might not be enough to fully bridge the gap between them. They were two people experiencing the same loss in different ways. Connor was afraid that he’d inadvertently wedged himself into that gap and widened it.

                “No one’s just like their parents,” he said eventually. Faint Christmas music played in the distance—someone’s house beginning a light show.

                “My grandfather says I take after my dad and he means that in the worst way possible. The problem is he’s right. He was a… difficult person. I’m the same.”

                “I don’t care. I love you.”

                Nico sucked in a breath. “Con…”

                “I mean it.” Connor’s chest was burning. The words had burst out of him, but they were true. His hands were shaking. There was that fear again, the fear of exposure. Yet he would’ve been more comfortable in better light, not in the wings where it was almost too dark to see.

                Nico’s hand was wrapped tightly around his phone. Slowly, he relaxed his grip and replaced it in his pocket. “You can’t say that until after our date.”

                “Does that mean…?”

                “Yeah.” Nico took a deep breath. “We’ll go out on a real date.”  


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take ALL of this self-indulgent fluff. this is one of those chapters that has been sitting partially written since i started the fic and i've been dying to get to it so here it is.

                Connor hadn’t been on a “real” date in a year. He had ideas, though. In his opinion, they were good ideas. Whether they were applicable to Nico remained to be seen. Currently, they were standing in the driveway the morning after the trip to the Christmas house, staring at each other in silence.

                “Okay, so,” Connor started to say.

                “Why can’t we talk inside?” Nico interrupted.

                Connor sighed. “Because Mom can’t know this is our actual first date.”

                “We look ten thousand times more suspicious standing in the driveway, Con.”

                What had been really suspicious was the way they’d walked home last night. Suspicious and awkward. Beatrice had noticed something was up when they got back. She didn’t say anything, but Connor had seen a certain _look_ in her eyes. He’d hoped she was assuming there’d been an argument.

                Sleeping had been even more awkward. Connor had tried to graciously take the floor, but Nico had told him not to be stupid.

                “Just because you like me now doesn’t mean I think you’re going to roll on me in your sleep,” he’d said. “I told you I trusted you, right?”

                “I don’t want to make things weird.”

                “You already did and you’re making it weirder. Just go to sleep.”

                And then they’d gone to sleep, woken up, had breakfast, and now they were in the driveway. Making things weird.

                “I kind of have a day planned,” Connor said. “And I want it to be a surprise.”

                Nico’s eyebrows went up. “You _planned?_ How long have you been sitting on this?”

                “I made a mental list of the best date ideas ever way before I was your fake boyfriend. Two seconds after you said we could go out, I created a schedule for today based on the list.”

                “I’m already regretting this.”

                “Legit?” Connor tried not to let actual worry creep into his voice.

                “No. Not really.” Nico scuffed at the asphalt. “Said I would you give you a chance.”

                Connor opened the passenger side door to his car. “I’m going to win you over,” he said with a grin. “I can feel it.”

                “Ha. Try your best.” Nico got in. “You said ‘surprise’ so I guess you’re not going to tell me where we’re going until we get there.”

                “Yep.”

                “Wonderful,” Nico deadpanned.

 

                Connor waited until they were literally in the parking lot at the local ice rink to reveal their first stop. He supposed he could’ve waited until they were inside, but it was a pretty nondescript building and he was worried Nico would have no clue where they were.

“Ice skating!” Connor said. “We’re going ice skating!”

                “I don’t know how to…”

                “Well, I do, and you can hold my hand and it will be fucking cute.”

                Nico hesitated. He looked from Connor to the building a few times. Finally, he seemed to gather his nerves. “Alright,” he said. “If I bust my ass, it’s your fault.”

                “I will keep your ass intact.” Connor tried really hard not to snort and failed.

                Nico looked at him pointedly. “What are you thinking of?”

                “Nothing.”

                “That’s what I thought.”

                It wasn’t a super busy day. Connor counted himself lucky. He realized he could have waited and planned better, but their time was already so limited. Nico seemed relieved at how few people were milling around the lobby.

                Connor made sure to rent Nico a pair of black skates. It was the least he could do. Nico stared at them like he’d just been handed a bomb to defuse.

                “They’re skates, dude. You wear them like shoes.”

                “I know what they are. I just never… I’ve never worn them before.” Nico sat down on one of the benches and put them on. He didn’t seem to have any trouble lacing them up.

                “So, have you ever been rollerblading?”

                Nico shook his head.

                “Normal skating? Like on a sidewalk.”

                “No. This is literally my first time.”

                _Score._ “You are checking off all of my first date fantasies. If I had taken you skating on our practice date, I would’ve fallen for you in two seconds.”

                “And if you’d ordered actual coffee, I would’ve seriously considered a second date,” Nico said. “Is incompetency your thing?”

                Connor laughed. “No. This is just an excuse for you to lean all over me.” He shimmied his shoulders.

                Nico rolled his eyes, but smiled in return. “You’re going to make us one of those disgusting couples who constantly show off, aren’t you? You know, Oscar Wilde called that washing clean linen in public.”

                “I thought that was about married people.”

                “Same principle applies.”

                Making it onto the ice was a struggle in and of itself. Connor was doing his best to be true to his word and not let Nico fall, but he couldn’t do much when Nico wasn’t letting go of the wall. He had to resort to prying his fingers off one by one while gently threatening him. (Nico did not respond kindly to this.) However, Connor eventually managed to get Nico standing beside him in the rink, hand clasped in his own.

                “If I fall and you laugh,” Nico said, wobbling slightly, “we are done.”

                “You’re not going to fall. Look, even little kids are getting it.” Connor pointed to a couple seven-year-olds circling the rink.

                “That just makes it worse. I’m twenty-one and I have no clue what I’m doing.”

                Connor pushed off, pulling Nico behind him. Nico’s grip tightened in a moment of pure panic. When he didn’t immediately lose his footing, it relaxed slightly. Christmas music played over the tinny speakers—everything from goofy novelty songs to the classics to pop music covers of the classics.

                “I feel like people are staring,” Nico said.

                “No one’s staring.” Connor glanced around the rink just in case. Everyone seemed to be minding their own business. “They don’t know this is a date.”

                “We’re holding hands.”

                “That’s because you’re too scared to let go.”

                “You’re the one who—” Nico yelped as Connor suddenly released him. He grabbed Connor’s arm, pulling them closer together and nearly toppling both of them.

                Connor laughed.

                “That was a dirty trick,” Nico said.

                “Aw, you’re cute when you’re mad.”

                “I’ll trip you.”

                “Then you’ll go down with me.”

                They skated for a while. All they could do was circle the rink until they tired themselves out. Nico slowly grew more confident. He even let go of Connor for a while and managed to keep up. If there _had_ been anyone staring, Connor couldn’t care less about them. He was fixated on Nico. Was he having fun? Were Connor’s jokes landing? Was this boring or stupid?

                “Is the rest of the day a surprise, too?” Nico asked.

                “Pretty much. It’s a loose plan though. We could change it.” Connor tilted his head. “You want to dump me already?”

                Nico shook his head. “I want to see where this is going.”

                When they eventually got off the ice, Connor’s legs hurt, and he was just as sick of all the Christmas music as Nico. Somehow it was already 1PM. Nico looked tired, but also… pleased? A smile kept ghosting around his lips.

                “Are you okay with a longish drive?” Connor said.

                “How long?”

                “Eh, about twenty minutes.”

                “That’s not that long.”

                Connor jogged his leg while Nico unlaced his skates. _I can’t rush, I can’t rush. Just because we’ve been playing this for a while doesn’t mean he’s automatically my boyfriend. I have to pass the audition._

 

                Old Town was fully decorated for the holidays, complete with wreaths and ribbons on the lampposts. Connor secretly hated driving to Old Town, because the streets were narrow, and parking was hard to find. But it was one of the few romantic places nearby that he could think of on short notice. Connor managed to find an empty spot in a public parking lot.

                “Food first,” he said.

                They ate at a coffeeshop with really good sandwiches and their own collection of books, donated by customers. (Most of them were pretty boring, but it looked nice.) Nico had coffee—of course—and proclaimed it to be “not bad.”

                “This is a lot like the practice date,” Nico said.

                “I learned from my experience.”

                Nico looked around the dining area. The other customers were absorbed in their laptops, books, and phones. “It’s cool how no one knows me here.”

                “I don’t think I know anyone here either.” Connor lowered his voice to a whisper. “We’re incognito. What’s your undercover identity?”

                Nico rolled his eyes.

                “I need to know,” Connor said very seriously. “We can’t risk blowing your cover.”

                “You go first.”

                “I am… Quicksilver. Carl Quicksilver.”

                Nico smirked around the rim of his coffee cup. “Okay, _Carl._ I’m Dennis Barlow.”

                “Keep an eye on the dude with the Bluetooth, Dennis. That little earpiece is a listening device. He’s trying to crack us.”

                “What are we even undercover for again?”

                “Drug cartel,” Connor said. “This is where they make the drop.”

                “Okay. I’ll keep an eye out for anyone with a suspiciously large duffel bag.”

                They finished at the coffeeshop without catching anyone in the middle of The Drop. (It was only somewhat disappointing.) As they left, Connor offered his hand wordlessly to Nico. A moment of hesitation passed, then Nico took it. Connor’s heart floated up into his throat.

                Old Town consisted mostly of used bookstores, antique shops, and independent restaurants. Nico was surprisingly open to window shopping. He gravitated towards the weirdest stuff: ceramic cats, faded coffee mugs from other people’s vacations, antebellum bottles and vials, a mint condition embalming kit from the forties…

                “I actually kind of want it,” Nico said, admiring it through its glass case. “It’ll be a nice conversation piece in my future house.”

                “It’ll only be a nice conversation piece if you invite people over. To be honest, they’re not going to stay long when they see the embalming kit.”

                “You have to acknowledge death. So many people don’t know how to prepare and don’t set aside money for funerals, or they have no clue what to do when someone dies. All because they’re scared to think about it.”

                “You know, I didn’t think about it—duh—but funerals are expensive, huh?”

                Nico made a scornful noise. “Yeah. They’re almost a grift.”

                Then he launched into a description of the Forest Lawn Memorial Park. Connor was fascinated and honestly a bit creeped out. He found the whole idea interesting, but as soon as he heard a pause in Nico’s monologue, he said, “Can we not talk about death too much on our date?”

                “Am I freaking you out?”

                Connor laughed nervously.

                To his shock, Nico reached for his hand. “Wanna look at those old _Star Wars_ toys?”

                Nico’s style of changing the subject was blunt, but it did the job. Connor nodded, relieved. They spent the next thirty minutes rummaging through a mishmash of action figures. Connor let his eyes wander to Nico whenever Nico looked away. The chorus of _Does he like me? Does he like me?_ in his house hadn’t ceased since they’d left the house.

                Wandering around antique stores totally messed with Connor’s sense of time. It felt like they’d only been window-shopping for forty minutes, but when he glanced outside, the sun was going down. The old lamps started to come on. Connor glanced at his phone. 6:15 PM.

                He grabbed Nico’s wrist and dragged him toward the door. Luckily, Nico wasn’t holding anything fragile.

                “What’s the rush?” Nico asked.

                “You have to see the prettiest part of Old Town before we leave.”

                Connor took Nico to the town square, where they put up the Christmas tree. There were a few people hanging around and taking pictures. Whoever had hung up all the ornaments on the gigantic fir sitting in the middle had decorated the surrounding area, too.

In the dark early evening, the lights in the trees glowed a brilliant yellow. They reflected off the store windows and ornaments, making the whole square glittery and shiny. Connor would be hard pressed to think of a more romantic scene. His mind immediately went to work thinking up a way to get Nico to kiss him.

                “Any more ideas?” Nico asked.

                Connor shook his head. “What about you?”

                “I’m kind of tired, honestly. We should head back.”

                “We could sit down for a while,” Connor suggested. “Then head back.”

                Nico had no complaints. He let Connor lead him to a bench. They sat shoulder to shoulder against the cold, Nico’s hand tucked into the pocket of Connor’s jacket. Nico closed his eyes for a second and let out a soft breath. It condensed in the air.

                “I had fun,” he said.

                “Really?” Connor sat up a little straighter.

                “It was a good date.” Nico looked down, probably trying to hide a smile, if Connor had to guess. “Definitely better than our first one.”

                “That doesn’t count. This is the _real_ first date. I didn’t know I liked you back then.”

                “To be honest, I didn’t either. I thought you were annoying.” Nico hid a smile behind his hand. “But it was still fun. I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.”

                “It’s not like I could have.”

                It was full dark by the time Connor pulled back into the Stoll driveway. They sat in the car for a few silent moments. Connor didn’t want to have a conversation here, but he also couldn’t have it in the house. He settled for getting out of the car.

                “We’re standing in your driveway again,” Nico observed.

                Connor nodded. He felt so heavy; he’d started this date already being hopelessly gone for Nico and he hadn’t thought he could fall further, but he could. He didn’t want to lose this. He didn’t want this to be the last time.

“So…” Connor said. “Did I pass?”

                Nico smiled faintly.

                “I know it’s weird,” Connor added. He fidgeted with his jacket zipper. “Obviously I wasn’t planning on this, but a lot of stuff I do is poorly thought out.”

                “You know, when you first said I should go as your date, I thought you were setting me up for a prank.” Nico’s face was turning pink from the cold. “What do you even see in me anyway?”

                “Well, you’re… kind of cute? You’re into all this stuff that no one else I know likes. When you start talking about card games, your face sort of lights up—”

                Nico went from pink to full-on red. “That’s so embarrassing. You _like_ that?”

                “Also, I realized I don’t know anything about the funeral industry, so that was cool. Learning from you.”

                “There’s no way you’re serious,” Nico said. “You’re not normal.”

                “No one’s ‘normal,’” Connor said, waving his hand. “I mean, we’re both pretty weird, if you think about it. And…” Connor ducked his head. Heat rushed to his ears. “I just like you.”

                Nico was silent.

                Connor braced himself. A rejection wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. It was Nico, and there was the scam, and Nico had already listed all the ways it wouldn’t work. Connor felt something twist in his gut. What would he say if Nico decided they were better off separate? They couldn’t keep lying to everyone around them. That’d be the epitome of awkward. But how did they tell Beatrice and Travis that it was over between them without just as much drama? Would they still be friends?

                “Con.”

                Connor looked up. Nico’s breath billowed out in wispy clouds. He was still blushing. Slowly, he reached out and took Connor’s hand. Connor realized he was in over his head, because his heartrate spiked dramatically. Nico stepped closer and put his other hand on Connor’s shoulder.

                “You pass,” he said, then pressed his lips to Connor’s.

                Whatever had twisted unfurled. It was as if some kind of seal had just been broken and now Connor was filling up with giddy, uncontrollable joy. He’d heard that being with someone you liked could make you feel like you were floating, and Connor had definitely broken free of Earth’s gravity. His head was somewhere past their atmosphere, hanging out with the moon.

                Connor wrapped an arm around Nico’s waist. He held him as close as he dared. It was a different kind of kiss from the front porch or the wedding. Nico’s mouth wasn’t quite open, but it wasn’t quite closed. He was breathing into Connor and pulling air out of him at the same time. It made Connor dizzy.

                As hard as it was, Connor broke them apart. “We should go inside,” he said.

                Nico nodded.

                They climbed the steps, still holding hands.


End file.
